It is time to talk about Mike Wheeler.
Many of you saw a lot of hateful posts about him lately. Or just dismissive. Those are lucky. Lucky people, who doesn’t understand what is he going through because they probably didn’t experience anything like that.
The thing is he thinks that his feelings are irrelevant, insignificant and plain wrong*. And I think exactly that about my own feelings still, for probably the same reasons. But it is time for both of us own what is ours.
Ugly. I heard that word in Mike’s address more than once recently. And it is more accurate than you may think. His struggles are ugly. Here’s some proof if you don’t trust your instincts and feelings like I do not trust mine (because the ugliest part of the world taught us that).
Do you remember characters descriptions from Montauk? Yeah, those ones where it is said that Will struggles with his sexuality? (This means that Will’s sexuality never meant to be a secret btw) There is one point in Mike’s description I never saw anyone discuss. Mike Wheeler was supposed to have some kind of skin deformity on his face, something like poor Vicky from It Chapter Two had. She is a poor girl because she was killed, not because she had a red mark on her face.
So Mike was supposed to be ugly from the very beginning. In the eyes of society of course. We were supposed to see it even before we learned anything about his inner turmoil.
Well, for creators Finn Wolfhard at twelve probably was unconventional enough to not escalate things with face marks. (Who knew he will grow into a stunning young man mere years later, but even now I see people comment on his appearance in not very nice way which is on them, but it shows that Finn’s Mike is still unconventional enough).
And then there are his inner demons. Will manifested his and let them run free killing people (I so relate to that!). But Mike won’t let his feelings breathe in any way. He is stubborn and determined and bottled up like a volcano. He is in the middle of a chain reaction (pun intended) but he is trying to contain it and even subvert it. What does it mean? What is he feeling?
We are all taught that there is love. We, women, often taught that that is the only way we can become sighnificant and that we should experience it in the very specific way (which is why I want Eleven to be free of that bullshit first), and men are taught their own bullshit. But despite of those harmful tendencies love exist and sexists like a broken clock which shows right time two times a day are right in one thing: love can make you happy. In this prosexual proromantic world (hey there my fellow aces <3)) it is often said that love is a must have, love is the only way to happiness. Well, it isn’t necessary untrue, is it?
Here is Mike who probably think the same. Or maybe not. Even if he doesn’t think about love that way, he feels it. He IS already in love and he must think about it. Of course he knows the world view about love. Road to happiness, the one and only road to happiness, to being respectable and deserving part of society. But for Mike this is the road to hell. The thing which is promised every one of us if only we will do this and that and behave, that beautiful thing is poison to him. He is doomed. And there is Will, who might be dragged with him by proximity, by association.
So Mike is doing everything he can imagine without anyone’s help to not be a poison. To his best friend, love of his life most of all. Of course it looks exactly like that: ugly. He is rude, he is manipulative, he hurts his loved ones more than saves them.
Mike Wheeler doesn’t do shit for himself. He is selfless son of a beautifull woman (cut that b*tch crap). This is his character but I think there is even worse things which come with it: people are praised for being selfless, it is a valuable trait, but when you think you are not worth shit, that your feelings are wrong and don’t have a right to exist in their natural form, than you don’t value yourself at all.
People tend to underestimate Mike’s dive in the quarry. If he had common self esteem he still could do something for Dustin by not commiting s*iside in the process. But he thinks of himself as worthless. Why not traide your worthless life for a dear friend?
No, he must reevaluate himself. Than he will see that he is worthy of Will’s love and that his love is something precious to Will. I wish him that.
I wish all of you to never feel like that.
*I was born with the wrong sign In the wrong house With the wrong ascendancy I took the wrong road That led to the wrong tendencies I was in the wrong place at the wrong time For the wrong reason and the wrong rhyme On the wrong day of the wrong week I used the wrong method with the wrong technique
Wrong Wrong
There's something wrong with me chemically Something wrong with me inherently The wrong mix in the wrong genes I reached the wrong ends by the wrong means It was the wrong plan In the wrong hands With the wrong theory for the wrong man The wrong lies, on the wrong vibes The wrong questions with the wrong replies
Wrong Wrong
