Klaine Summer Challenge Day 8- Walking on Sunshine
Summers often make Blaine feel lonely. (Warnings for depression and anxiety attacks.) AO3
He thinks the heat must be getting to him.
That’s the only explanation he can think of, why else is he tired all the time, or why he’s so hot that he can’t stand to leave the house or even walk down stairs to eat.
More than anything he’s bored.
When he was at Dalton, everything was go, go, go. He woke up and did the same thing everyday, and while most people are ready to escape the tedious routine of school, he misses having something to do everyday. It’s only the end of June, but he spends most of his days waking up at noon (after falling to a restless sleep at 2am) and then taking a nap at around six o’clock.
The time spent in between is spent doing nothing.
He reads, he’s been reading a lot, but the words on the page muddle together and he just gives up and watches another movie instead.
“I miss you guys,” he says to his mom over video chat one afternoon- he can’t even remember what day of the week it is, they all feel the same. “I wish you guys didn’t have to be gone for so long.
“We know sweetheart,” Pam says with a sigh. “But your grandmother is really sick and your father needs me right now.”
But i need you too, Blaine thinks, but doesn’t say in fear of sounding selfish. His grandmother has been sick for a while and the humidity in her retirement residence in Florida isn’t helping her. His parents left at the beginning of the month, right after he finished the school year.
“Have you been having fun? Hanging out with your friends?” She asks.
They’re all with their families on vacation, he thinks bitterly
“A bit,” he lies. “They’re all busy.”
“Oh, well how’s Kurt?” Pam asks, changing the subject with remorse.
While Blaine usually smiles at the mention of Kurt, his heart sinks a bit.
“We’ve gone on a couple dates,” he says, and it’s true. They went to the movies last week - and Blaine was so happy because he didn’t have to talk- and Kurt took him to the New Directions end of the year party, where he mostly sat around and drank soda while everyone else hung out.
He doesn’t blame Kurt for not making him a priority, they’ve only been together for a few months, and when they do hang out Blaine is so nervous because he rarely spends time with people these days.
“We’ll be back in a few weeks honey,” his mom says. “And when we do we’ll all go out as a family- maybe we’ll get Cooper to come back home.”
I’m not even fun to be around, Blaine thinks.
“Yeah mom, that’ll be great.”
Kurt texts him late one afternoon if he wants to go on a picnic tomorrow, and Blaine doesn’t even text back until after nine, a simple “Sure, I’d love to :)”.
When he wakes up the next morning it’s a completely different story.
First off all, it’s Saturday. Which means more people in the park than usual and it’ll be so crowded and it’s so hot outside he spends thirty minutes after waking up walking around in his undershirt and boxers and opening all the windows, his breaths becoming shorter. He starts thinking that he has nothing to wear- he hasn’t done laundry since the end of May- so he’s thinking that Kurt will make fun of his outfit and ohgodishouldjustcancelnow starts running through his head until he’s sitting on the couch, his leg shaking hard and his head feeling like it’s been filled with cotton and rocks at the same time.
The doorbell rings, and it rings multiple times when Blaine can’t force himself to get up to answer. After what feels like an hour, he picks his body and the edges of his vision are fuzzy as he tugs furiously on the doorknob.
“Hey, I thought you may be asleep- you’re not even dressed?” Kurt asks curiously.
The floor sways under Blaine’s feet. “I’m sorry, oh gosh I’m so sorry.”
Kurt tries to place his hand on Blaine’s shoulder but he tenses up so much he retracts. “Are you okay?”
No no no, Blaine thinks. “I can’t breathe,” he confesses, tears brimming in his eyes and threatening to fall on his cheeks.
“Oh Blaine, let’s sit down,” Kurt says steadily, it the most solid thing Blaine is aware of. He feels a strong hand on the center of his back, his feet trudging forward with its guidance as he’s lowered on the couch.
Blaine is shaking and the room is blurring around him and Kurt says something like “lie” - it sounds so far away- and then he feels himself being laid down on the couch. He starts feeling nauseous so he closes his eyes until the pounding in his ears fades away.
When he wakes up project runway is playing at a low volume on the T.V. and Kurt’s hand is toying with the hair on his head.
“You’re still here?”Blaine asks. He debates sitting up but his head hurts too bad.
“Of course,” Kurt replies immediately, his voice soft. ”Plus you’e kind of on my lap.”
“I think you said that enough earlier,” Kurt says in a slightly teasing tone. “What happened?”
Blaine explains, and he cries again but Kurt stay silent give or take a few hmms here and there. He apologizes mores and Kurt lets him, going in a steady pattern on the back of his head as they watch models on the screen.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Is Kurt’s first question.
I didn’t want to bother you. I thought you wouldn’t care. I was hoping it would go away.
“It’s complicated. I don’t really know..” Blaine trails off.
“It’s okay,” Kurt says and Blaine smiles quietly. “We’re still going on that picnic you know.”
Blaine furrows his brow. “Oh I don’t know if I-”
“Trust me,” Kurt says quickly. “Go get dressed.”
Blaine sighs and goes upstairs, and puts on a pair of shorts a clean shirt from the floor, thinking that there’s no point in lying and trying to look too presentable.
He brushes his teeth and goes downstairs to see that Kurt has opened all the blinds and has the food he packed splayed out on the coffee table.
“It’s too hot out,” Kurt smiles, “But we can still enjoy the sun.”
Blaine finds an old blanket in the hall closet and spreads it out on the floor. He can Kurt rewind the episodes of project runway he missed and feed each other grapes in silence while leaning against the couch. It’s still hot, but now the sunlight feels warm in a more comforting way.
