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Denmark x Australia. Had to be done

(Of course.)

What a sight of domestic bliss this was. The blonde man stood side-by-side to the shorter Australian, they both hard at work at each end of the stove, cooking for each other as they usually did. Each with a smile, they shared small samples of their work-in-progresses and exchanged tasty kisses.

#Derpderpderp.

My Testimony.

I've had 2 major issues in my life that you will hear mentioned in this post the first one is anxiety, & the other is my unhealthy obession with "love" & having a "boyfriend" & all that junk. (you'll hear more about that one a little bit later.)

I accepted Jesus in my life when I was in 2nd grade. All my life I've had a major anxiety problem. Especially when I was younger. I was scared of everything. to when I was 5 scared of pooping in a toilet (don't laugh. D: lol.) To just scared of dying & death, & everything. I was also a worrier. A hardcore worrier. I grew up in christian church & a christian school that I just recently left. ( I was there for 11 years. I just graduated. & I'd like to add I love that school so much & miss it like a turd.) & honestly, what lead me to accept Jesus into my life (as I remember, it was long ago.) was my fear of dying. I remember that month it was really freaking me out dying & where I would go if I died, & what would happen if I died, & it was just really freaking me out to the point of I think I told my mom about it, & at that time we'd do these devotions every morning & there was this "abcs to salvation" or something in there. So I prayed with my mommy, & that was when Jesus came into my life. But, I never really, really got into my relationship with God until this summer. I got baptized, too that spring also & it was really something that was on my heart for awhile that I was ignoring & didn't want to do, at all. & I thought it was alright if I didn't get baptized because i'd still be going to heaven, you know? So, I never bothered with it & I shoved that feeling away, urging me to get baptized, until about March, when I went to the revolve tour. ( I absolutely love the revolve tour. Seriously. It's amazing. & it's really helped me in my growing process as a follower of Jesus.) & basically the things that the speakers were saying kept reminding me of getting baptized, so I made the decision, & that was probably one of the best decisions i've made because I really believe getting baptized helped my relationship with God, & really helped me grow. So, another thing that really helped me grow, & what basically i'd say was a breaking point? I don't know how to explain it. But a realization of how much I needed Jesus. Well, I went to a camp my youth group at my church has every summer. & they played this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA dude, if I wasn't surrounded by 59 other people i'd probably be curled up in a ball on the floor crying, because that was exactly how I was acting for the past well, 6-7 years of my life? I felt horrible, absolutely horrible when I realized how much I drifted from God & how I didn't realize it & was in denial about it up until then.

before we get any further with that, let me tell you about my other issue in my life, since it definitely goes with what I was saying up there. Oh gosh, for as long as I could remember I've had an absolute obsession with having a boyfriend & feeling "loved" & being "loved." It got so horrible to the point I was absolutely obsessed with it. It would make me absolutely miserable all the time & I thought I was worthless because no boys ever liked me, when everyone of my friend's & their dogs were going out & having boyfriends & all this junk. What really fed into this obsession was my obsession with reading romance novels. I would pray every night I'd get someone to love me like they did in the books I read. & i'd get really frustrated when it didn't happen. I'd do things & try to satisfy that need by myself with just an inappropriate addiction that I had for a year, that i'm still in the process of getting rid of. (i'm getting better.. it's hard because it was a habit, no an unhealthy addiction of mine for about, a year or two years.. I don't wanna exactly say what it is but if you read closely, or between the lines you may figure it out..) But, with God's help I know I can overcome it. I'd mope around at school, at home, on my old tumblr, I'd complain all the time how no one would ever love me & how I would end up alone & how horrible my life was that I didn't have a "boyfriend"(people would always call me whiny & I always denied it, I was totally whiny. lawl.) I'd snap at everyone my friends, my family. I was a mess. & no matter what I did, I could never get rid of this, basically it felt like a hole right through my heart, I felt so empty & alone. It was a horrible feeling. But I honestly thank God everyday now that he never answered that prayer because if he did, & if I went out or "hooked up" with any of the guys I wanted to,& almost did. I'd be pressured into situations & doing things that I was not ready for what so ever, & i'd just get really hurt & it wouldn't of been worth the 3 weeks - to a month I'd be with these guys. I'm just so thankful God protected me from that. I really am.

okay, so back to this summer & camp. I saw that video, I cried like a turd on the inside. & that night I apologized to God because of how much I drifted from Him, & promised basically to get my life back on track. There were other "slap in the face moments from God" (that's what I like to call them.. coz that's what they seem like. In a loving way of course. lol.) at that camp when I basically just broke down because what some of the speakers were saying really touched my heart, & applied to my life. That whole camp experience was like a reality check from God & a realization that I needed to get out of my "lukewarmness" & really get serious about Jesus, & really, actually create & have a real relationship with Him. Not just that quick prayer I'd have occasionally at night, & that'd be the only time i'd think or talk to God all day. So, that's where it all started. Then after camp I'd start reading my bible every night, & I started following more christian blogs on here. Which actually really helped. & I'd talked to God more, like, really talk to him. & the more I put Him first in my life, the more my "regular" fears started to fade, & the more my insane need for a boyfriend, & to feel "love" faded. Because I find my worth in Jesus, now, & I am loved way more then I ever imagined, or craved before by Jesus. & the more I relied on Him with everything, the more free I started to feel & the more I actually started finally loving & enjoyed being alive. It's just wonderful what God has done in my life, absolutely wonderful.

now I have no interest what so ever in having a boyfriend, & whenever I see pictures of people kissing, gifs, or anything like that it just makes me feel really uncomfortable & I have to look away. Now I don't even think I want to get married or ever date anyone, because I'm scared i'll get carried away again & drift away from God again. If it happens, (me getting married.) it'll happen, but right now i'm just going to focus on Jesus. Now I am not scared to go to sleep at night, I don't fear being in public & around strangers anymore, & now I have so much more confidence in my self because I have finally found my worth in Jesus & I don't care now what anyone in the world thinks of me, only what God thinks of me. Now Jesus is my best friend & the love of my life. Now I don't fear the future or death because I know God is in control. :D

I thank God everyday that I realized how much I needed Him in my life as soon as I did, & that he protected me from getting too deep into certain things that I could've, like certain habits, or addictions, or what I said earlier about some pressures with being with guys & such. especially before I entered high school, because who knows what junk I'd get into at high school if I didn't have Jesus to lean on. I'd probably be a mess.

If my testimony touched any of you, or made you have any questions, comments or anything. please don't hesitate to ask. that is one of the only reason I posted this. :D if you made it this far you seriously get a virtual high-five & I love you. lol. God Bless!

#derpderpderp.#for my links on my blog.#if any of you read all of this you will be my bffl.