So today and part of yesterday has been the first time my body has had a really bad flare up in a good 2.5ish months. It’s crazy it’s been that long but I’m also grateful cause they used to be a weekly thing. Anyway, lots of stress between school, work, personal stuff has just been eating away at me for a good couple weeks now I’d say? Just the position I am in currently sucks because having so much outside stress of school is a rough thing to deal with when school stress is enough to put my body through a flare as it is. Basically both of my knees have been in such an excruciating amount of pain as well as my left elbow. All my pain is asymmetric so it’ll travel around my body eventually depending on the severity of the flare. Dealing with chronic illness while pursuing a degree in the science field while also juggling work and swallowing the financial impact university creates can be a lot at times.
What gets me through is knowing I can conquer all these little hardships of flares and continue on my journey. I also have an amazing support system of family and friends who have come to understand even if they don’t really understand. Times like these actually kinda make me reflective about how my support system has changed over the years. It’s just a funny feeling not having a certain someone around as I deal with the chronic illnesses only cause they were around for some of the worst times. While I’m glad not to have them in my life it’s just the first time I’ve gone through this caliber of a flare and they aren’t there after 3 years of being there. Oh well. Life happens. I just keep, or at least semi maintain, my sanity. I’m a huge believer in mind over matter, so when it gets too hard I just think of my happy place or a favorite hobby or something idk just anything other than the pain. At this point I am rambling and it’s after 2am but yeah chronic illness sucks because it’s all invisible diseases with debilitating consequences depending on stress, activity, food, etc.
