Simple (Loki x F!Reader) Masterlist
This is my very first fic on here, I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing (but I guess not,
Summary: Tony and the Avengers are in desperate need of something like a “babysitter” to have an eye on Loki and teach him “how to human”. He decided to stay on Midgard over the dungeons of Asgard as punishment for his deeds in New York. That’s where you swoop in. A simple receptionist at the Avengers compound. You have to share an apartment in the compound with Loki and damn, he’s a really tough nut. With your open and kind character it seems that you are slowly cracking his shell. But suddenly things are getting twists that will change your life and your relationships there irreversibly.
Story Rating: M
Chapter trigger warnings: Stressful situations
Words: 3794
14
It felt like an eternity as your mind evaluated the options, sorted out the feelings. It became increasingly uncomfortable for you. You wanted to hate him, but you couldn‘t… Why not? Under his drug induced sobbing he said things like „I never wanted to do anything like this.“ and „They forced this Soldier into me, but still, it was me who did it.“ And that gave it away for you.
„It‘s okay.“, you finally said. „It wasn‘t you. Hydra made you a tool. They manipulated you to do their dirty work. I‘m sure you fought against it, but lost. Like… me.“
Now he looked up to you, puzzled. You met his eyes.
„Well, I am only able to remember what happened after they, very recently, kidnapped me and forced my memory back, together with some… skills. They made me use them against my will to harm others. But I was not brainwashed like you. I was… just threatened. They probably wouldn‘t even have killed me. They just hurt me. But that was enough for me to hurt others instead.“ You got lost in thought.
„No, don‘t do this to yourself. You‘re not the one to blame here. They made you do it.“, he comforted you.
„Just like they did with you.“ You looked him dead in the eye. He shut his opened mouth and thought. Maybe he looked for some explanation why he was guilty while you weren‘t, but he couldn‘t find one.
„Listen. If you want to punish yourself, it‘s your choice. But you know it‘s not the truth. It‘s bad enough that you have to carry the memories of what you did around all the time. You will always be scarred. And maybe some inner wounds will never really heal. But it wasn‘t you. The real You. It was Hydra‘s manipulated variant of you.“
Your words seemed to reach him, a small smile escaped his lips for one second. You couldn‘t bear the intense emotional energy filling the air of this small hospital room.
„Okay. I guess you‘ll be around for a bit. I‘m gonna leave now.“ You already stood up and turned around as he called you.
„Wait! I never got to know your name.“
You looked back at him with a smile. „It‘s Y/N.“ You waited a second, anticipated.
„I‘m Bucky. I hope we can start over, maybe.“
„Yeah, I hope that, too.“, you added and left.
Next to the glass front of the room, only just out of sight, Tony and Steve were nervously waiting, letting out a sigh of relief as you appeared. You automatically smiled at them and casually strolled over.
„Well, looks like it wasn‘t that bad.“, you lied, forcing yourself to sound lighthearted. „But you should really get that man into a shower, you kno—“ Suddenly it felt like the corridor was turning around you, your ears rang. The dizziness made your knees weak and you would have hit the ground if it wasn‘t for some magically appearing hands getting hold of you. As you tried to roll your eyes back out of your skull you just vaguely saw some green shimmer and black locks over you. His familiar scent rooted your senses and made you not faint completely. You were picked up and carried to the lift, while you muttered „I‘m fine, I‘m fine.“ over and over again. You felt your bed beneath your body and thought closing your eyes for a few minutes would stop the world from turning so fast.
The low sunlight of the winter sun finally woke you up again. You turned your head and saw Loki sleeping on a chair next to your bed, holding your hand (with your gloves on) and his legs stretched out on the corner of your matress. In another chair Tony was slightly snoring, arms crossed, head tilted way back on the backrest. You let go of Loki‘s hand and touched your forehead where a massive headache started to rise. Loki almost immediately woke up.
„Easy, Y/N, don‘t get up too fast.“
That woke Tony up as well.
„Hey honeybun, how are you?“ He was already by your side, offering you a glass of water.
„Ow. Damn. I don‘t know, what happened?“ Your voice was hoarse and you thankfully took the water, drinking in small sips.
„Bruce meant you overexerted yourself.“, Tony explained.
„Overexerted? How, I did nothing but talk?“
„It seems that your emotional energy is now very closely linked to your physical. He said that is totally natural, but not to this extreme extent you are experiencing right now.“
„That means…?“
„That means, if you use your skills, or are otherwise emotionally drained, your brain will suck up the lacking energy from other parts, making you physically weaker, to protect the functions of your brain.“
„You can‘t be serious. How can that have such an effect on my physis?“
„Hm.“ Tony thought for a second. „Do you know that, when you‘ve got lots of stress over a long time, at some point your body finds another outlet? Some get stomach issues, others maybe headaches, skin rashes…“
„Yeah. I usually get UTI‘s or some shit like that.“
„Well. Unfortunately your psyche is much stronger now. It needs more energy. And if you overstimulate it, may it be with or without your skills as it seems, your brain gets the needed energy somewhere else to protect it from a severe overdrive.“
You let that sink in for a moment. It sounded kind of plausible.
„So, you wanna tell me that if I get too emotional, even without using my skills, I will… faint?“
„I guess your ‚batteries‘ will last longer when you‘re not using your skills, but yes. That‘s how Bruce explained it to me, and it sounded kind of plausible.“
You smiled a bit, shook your head. You looked at your hands, how they were lying peacefully in your lap, palms up. Then you screamed at them so loud that Tony and Loki both almost fell from their chairs.
„THAT SHIT IS BANANAS!“ You looked at their startled faces. „WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?! I WILL GO FUCKING BATSHIT BONKERS!“
„Hey, dear, it‘s okay. We will—“, Loki wanted to calm you down.
„NO!“, you shouted into his face, raising a finger at him. „Don‘t you dare to ‚hey, dear‘-me! ‚Weee‘“ You pointed at yourself and him, getting louder, „will do nothing. I will figure this out. If I want your assistance, I will tell you. Or, no, wait, let me rephrase that. If I want you to lie to me again, and then reveal the lie in the MOST UNFITTING SITUATION, I will tell you. Okay? Now, fucking get out of my face.“ You couldn‘t look at him, you knew what he would look like. Just as you noticed he didn‘t move, you turned to yell in his face „LEAVE!“
Loki looked at you, at Tony (who was far more than confused). His eyes switched between several undefined spots in the room, then he stood up and left. Quietly. Just like that.
You had to take some deep breaths to prevent you from crying. It took some time before Tony dared to speak again.
„What the fuck was that? Did— did he do something to you?“
„It‘s okay, Tones, I can deal with that—…are, are you okay?“ You grabbed his hand, but it was ice cold. You looked up and saw his arm was run over with goosebumps, his eyes were wide open but his pupils were the size of pinheads.
„No, no. It‘s fine. Just, as you freaked out right now, it made my toenails curl up and it was like every single hair on my body would be ripped out all at once.“
„Oh come on…“, you laughed.
„No, I mean it, Y/N. That was a real sensation I just had. Like, an almost haptical wave of… distress. How do you feel, honey?“
„I… uh… hm. I feel okay. Good, even…? Weird.“ You smiled confused. But it really felt good. It was like your body was under tension like a bow and you finally could let that arrow go.
„Sooo… no hard feelings? Anything else you‘re gulping down?“, Tony carefully asked.
„Uhm… no. I‘m fine right now. Really fine. But damn, I‘m hungry.“, you said with a smile.
„Alright, that’s something we need to change immediately.“ He clapped his hands on his thighs and stood up. As you went after him, you heard him, almost indistinctly, saying „Phew, I don‘t envy Loki.“
„What? What do you mean?“
„What? Oh, ehm, nothing…“
You squinted your eyes at him.
„It‘s just… I was only thinking…“ He sighed. „I‘m wondering, if your… eruption was so intense for me, how it may felt for him, since it was clearly directed at him. It surely was no bed of roses. Well-deserved, I don‘t question that.“
You stopped on your way to the kitchen and sighed.
„Damn. I have to talk to him.“
„Oh, I‘m sure he can take some hook to the chin. You clearly need to eat first.“
„No… I don‘t want him to feel shitty because I lashed out at him like this. Also I get uneasy with unresolved conflicts sitting in my neck.“
„Ah, yeah. I get that. But here“ He pulled out a bag of cashews and gave it to you. „Snack a bit.“
A broad smile decorated your face as you remembered how you got offered cashews when you applied for a job that changed your life to an unbelievable point. You looked at Tony, with his goofy smile, and pulled him into a dear hug.
„Thank you, Tones. I‘m so, so happy to have you back in my life, and in my mind. I love you.“
He pressed you close to his chest. „I love you, too, little honeybun.“
You took the cashews, crammed them into your pocket and went back into your private rooms. He wasn‘t in your living room, nor in his private bedroom.
„JARVIS, please locate Loki.“
„I am sorry, Miss, but I cannot clearly locate him.“
„Where was he last?“
„As he left your bedroom, he sat down in the winged chair by the window front and then disappeared.“
„Ah, yes, I understand. He is not able to completely disappear, right? He cannot go far away.“
„No, Miss. He probably just turned invisible, as far as I understand his powers.“
„Okay, thank you.“ You sat down in the winged chair you usually sat in, next to Loki‘s, and sighed.
„Loki, listen. I am sorry I lost control and bursted out at you like that. It probably was more… intense than just words. Please. Let me apologize face to face.“
After a few moments the green shimmer appeared. You gasped as you saw him, he looked completely devastated. You rushed to him, knelt down in front of him and held his hands.
„Oh my god, Loki. Was that me? Did— did I do this to you?“
„I— I really would prefer to lie and say no, but I don‘t count that as a good idea.“, he softly said, avoiding eye contact.
„Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god… I am so incredibly sorry. I never wanted anything like that! I had no idea! Please, please forgive me.“, you begged through your tears, wiping over Loki‘s wet cheek with your thumb.
„It‘s okay. My mind knows exactly what‘s going on. My body is just processing the signals it received. I‘m fine, my dear. Nothing to forgive.“ Reluctantly he looked at your face. You couldn‘t bear to see him like that, so you took off your gloves, but he stopped you.
„No, Y/N. A direct exchange would be too much for my system. But you don‘t need your hands. Your aura is strong enough if you direct it precisely. If you want to, I could guide you through it.
You nodded. „Yes, please.“
His voice was soft and low, his eyes closed.
„Take a few deep breaths like this: Inhale while counting to four, hold, counting to four, exhale, counting to four and hold again for four. Do this a few times until you feel calmer. Then, concentrate on your feelings. Not on what you want me to feel, just your calmness. Think of it like a colour, no need to tell me which. Let this colour flow through you, maybe it glows, maybe it‘s glistening like water, there‘s no wrong way. Whatever feels right to you. Then, imagine this colour flowing over to me.“
You followed his instructions as he spoke. But not completely, you had the urge to act a little differently.
He gasped as you climbed onto his lap. Your legs hung off the armrest, your head lent on his shoulder. A bit hesitating he put his arms around you. Soon you felt his body relax.
„Damn it Loki.“, you said with a smile, „I only came here to genuinely apologize. But where do I end up? On your lap.“
„Could imagine a worse outcome.“, he mumbled.
„No, I mean it.“ You lent away a bit to face him. His ocean blue eyes were glowing from the sunlight, piercing right into you. „I just made up this adult plan, to keep you on a distance, to concentrate on myself only. I didn‘t want to be distracted by you. In the past few weeks it was like I didn‘t have to face my trauma when I was around you. I felt good. Complete. Safe. I wanted to feel that with only myself, too. And I still do. But then again…“ You inhaled his scent deeply and let out a moan. „I can‘t stop. I‘m always spiraling back to you.“
„So, you will not cross me out?“ Still focusing on you, he moved closer.
„No…“, you breathed „Looks like I‘m tied to you…“ Your eyes darted at his eyes, then at his lips. The throbbing of your heart and the heat from your cheeks seemed to melt together down in your groin. Yes, god, yes, finally…
But Loki stopped. „You… You are right.“
„…What?“ No, no, no, come back here.
„We actually are kind of tied together. That‘s why we‘re always drawn to each other. The other is constantly in our mind, and we need each other‘s proximity. But it can‘t already be…“, he muttered more to himself. He took your right hand into his, whispered some words you couldn‘t understand, but you thought you heard him saying his mother‘s name. Confused, you watched his face, then your hands. You held your breath, closely observing. This was not Loki‘s magic that looked like a green aurora, revealing things. A crystal-like structure formed in front of your hands, cracking up like a window. As this crystal window broke open, it showed both your hands, intertwined with several strings in white and red.
„Wow, what the fuck…“, you reverently said, moving your hand around. The strings followed your every move, there was no way of shaking them off or anything. „What is that?“
„I…“ Loki was out of words. As he moved, the crystal window dispersed into white and red sparks. You realized he wanted to stand up, so you got off his lap. He started to nervously walk up and down the room while talking to himself. „That can‘t be. I never did… and we weren‘t… yet…. we didn‘t even… What?!“
„Loki, what the hell is going on? You‘re freaking me out!“ You stopped him and grabbed him by the arms, softly shaking him. „Loki, talk to me, please!“ Your eyes met.
„I… I am incredibly sorry, Y/N.“ He had to look away. An ice cold shiver ran over your body.
Both of you jumped as someone knocked on your door.
„What?!“, you almost screamed at the door. Slowly it opened and Tony put his head inside.
„Everything‘s okay? You know you can lock the door if you want privacy, right?“
You sighed heavily and inhaled. „Oh you‘re so funny. How can we help you?“ You tried to seem calm. Tony didn‘t need to know how close to Loki you actually were and he surely didn‘t need to know about your personal drama here.
„Could you come to the common room real quick? I want to introduce you to someone.“, he said and left, leaving the door open a bit.
You took a few breaths and you both went to the door. But you stopped Loki before you got out.
„Please, just tell me this. What I just saw, does that mean… I‘m in… danger somehow? Will— will I die?“ You looked him directly in the eyes, his face went soft.
„No, my dear. You‘re perfectly fine.“ He genuinely smiled and you just took it.
As you went to the common room, you saw a female figure leaning onto the counter, long, wavey hair laying on her back. She was talking to Tony, the others were there, too, except for Steve. The unknown female turned around as she noticed the others were looking at you. As your eyes met your pace slowed down for some unknown reason so that Loki bumped into you.
„Hello, I‘m Wanda. You got to be Y/N, am I right?“ She walked towards you and hugged you. Your heart started to race a bit.
„Eh, yes! Hi! Nice to meet you!“ She gave you one of the prettiest smiles you ever saw, then she looked behind you.
„You must be Loki then.“ She quickly darted over him from tip to toe and offered her hand, assuming he was not the type to hug at first sight. He took it and shaked it firmly.
„A pleasure.“, he said with a polite smile.
„Alright! Now that you all know each other, come over here. We got stuff to discuss.“, Tony said.
All of you sat around the kitchen counter, drinking coffee and he explained the situation.
„Our precious Wanda here is known for a lot of powers, one of them being mind control. We hope that, with her help, we maybe can erase the programmation of our captive downstairs.“
„Yes, I think that should be possible. I will have to spend some time with him. To get to know him. But as far as I can see, he is willing to cooperate.“, Wanda said.
You were sitting across from her and for some reason she kept giving you little looks. You felt hot and nervous, probably because she was new and you didn‘t know her.
After all the mission details were talked through, Tony kind of dismissed all of you. With a smile you excused yourself and went out on the balcony to get some fresh air. It didn‘t take long and you felt the presence of someone.
„I‘m fine, Loki. I just needed a bit of air—“
„Alright, I‘ll tell him when I see him.“
Wanda stood next to you, leaning onto the railing, inhaling the crisp winter air.
„Isn‘t it too cold for you?“, she asked, looking over your clothes. You wore casual sweatpants and a t-shirt.
„Oh, no no. It‘s fine. I went outside because I felt a bit hot. Also, the sun is warming, too.“ You nervously chuckled. You mustered all your courage. „Uhm. I‘m sorry if I‘m wrong, but… it seemed like you were… kinda watching me? A bit? Am I wrong? Or did I maybe do something?“
„Oh, no. Not at all. You must know, I‘m able to read thoughts, when I want to. I can control it most of the time, but sometimes I involuntarily listen to the thoughts of others. I just wanted to say that I am incredibly sorry for what happened to you.“
You furrowed your brows. „What… what do you mean?“
„What the Soldier did to you and your parents. I can only imagine how traumatizing it must have been.“ She gave you a sincerely concerned look, gently pressing your hand. Her touch made your skin hot and cold at the same time.
„How… how do you know that? I wasn‘t thinking of it?“
„Your… boyfriend thought of it.“ She looked confused.
„But I never told him? Also, he‘s not my boyfriend.“, you added lukewarm.
She gave you a very puzzled look. „I— I am sorry. But he knows it. And he…. Also thinks of you two being… in a relationship.“ She closely watched your face as you realized how he could have known from the incident and just ignored the „relationship“ part for now.
„I am sorry, Y/N. I thought you told him, of course. Especially since I thought you two were a couple.“ She got a bit nervous because she revealed something you didn‘t know. „Wait here please.“ She quickly went inside.
It was like all the air outside wasn‘t enough, you almost hyperventilated. The next second Loki appeared at your side.
„What is going on? Wanda just came in and said—“
„Were you in the room when I wanted to talk to Bucky alone?“, you cut him off.
„…What? Why…“, he stuttered. You turned, looking him straight in the eye.
„Did you eavesdrop on me? Although I clearly stated I wanted nobody else to listen?“
You watched him writhe on inside until he gave in with a sigh. „Yes. I did.“
You clenched your hands around the railing, your nails digging into the wood. „I— I cannot believe that. How could you do this to me?“
„I just wanted you to be—“
„Safe?“ You spit the word into his face. „He was completely tied down. He was under drugs and obviously not in the Soldier-mode. Tony and Steve were standing right outside the door. AND I can alter the feelings of persons when I only fucking TOUCH them! So don‘t tell me you did it for the sake of my fucking SAFETY!“
Loki searched for words, but failed.
„Go on! Tell me your honorable reason why you right out disrespected my personal wishes for privacy, for what? Come on. Tell me.“ You didn‘t get an answer. „TELL ME!“, you yelled at him, tears in your eyes. „Wait, let me help you sort out your feelings.“, you angrily said while ripping off your glove and quickly grabbing Loki‘s wrist. You were fast enough to feel it before he shut it down and ripped back his arm, looking at you wide-eyed.
„What did you do?“, he asked breathlessly.
„Really, Loki? Jealousy? You did it out of fucking jealousy? I thought more of you.“ You had to leave. He wanted to stop you, but you shouted at him: „Don’t you fucking touch me! I am having nothing of this!“ After a second you said, dangerously calm: „I will give a reason for jealousy.“, and left. You just randomly grabbed someone‘s jacket that was hanging over a chair‘s backrest and headed to the stairs that led outside, ignoring that everybody's eyes were on you.
Hey everyone! Just wanted to let you know, next chapter of Simple will be published on sunday, 10 am (west european time). Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist. Have a beautiful weekend guys!
