demo of 'a pile of love notes' is now listen-to-able since i have now recorded it
i was thinking about this: a lot of people say things about the negative subconscious things that they do. things they supposedly know. things that are inert in them (or something). things like 'i fall out of love easily' or 'i am the type of person who needs a lot of validation'. when we say these things, we accept them as inevitable consequences of our personality.
it's not fun to need validation or to hurt people by falling out of love with them. but we just accept it--we who say these things--I being one of we. and maybe we're not wrong to. maybe fighting to change these problems would be a hard and pointless thing to do. maybe these things are, in fact, inevitable.
what do i know though. i can't even spell 'subconscious.' it got red lined every time i wrote it in this post (even in this paragraph).
fuck.
'a pile of love notes' is a song about a girl i fell desperately and unrealistically in love with because she let me slide my eleventh finger around in her wet spots.
animal shit.
i wrote a bunch of poems to her after she stopped talking to me. sent them to her email. she asked me to stop. i refused at first. then i did stop.
i think i talked about her in a previous post. 'killed time' was also written about this girl.
idk.
this is also one of the earliest songs i ever wrote on guitar. fueled by anxiety and sexual frustration, it is perfect for the album, i think.
as for the technical side of this: i recorded the main guitar track with my roommates 'silvertone' acoustic guitar in my new room. when i read 'silvertone' i thought, 'this will be the second place of tones.' two of my roommates moved out recently and i took their room. i was wondering how the acoustics would work in this new spot, and so far it's the best of the three bedrooms in this house.
i recorded the vocals in one of the common rooms of my apartment. also, when my roommates moved out, they took a bunch of furniture and rugs out of here. i felt sad and rejected when they left, but the absence of their stuff gave the room a natural reverb that made the vocals a little warmer.
i'm not a great singer folks, but these are my songs. i feel the way the song is more than anyone else does, and that means i have to sing them. sorry.
finally i recorded my fender squire electric guitar through a delay pedal and then directly into the interface. i had a friend who used to spell guitar 'pedals' like 'petals'. i like that better. like i am stepping on 'petals'. :-)
i tweaked volume and panning a tiny bit and added compression to the main guitar, vocals, and backing vocals. that's all i did post production. keepin it simple.
it is just a demo anyway. i will redo it with a metronome later on. the ending is jacked up anyway--off time.
also, i don't know if i want to add drums bass or some other instrument yet. maybe harmonium? i just got one of those. may be cool. i'll have to think about it/do some foolin around.
so that's it, i guess.
here are the lyrics:
“A Pile of Love Notes”
I miss you on Thursdays
Walking the sidewalk between bars
The sun sets unevenly
Peach light of street lamps guides us down
Guides us down.
A stack of paper
Words pile on one another
together a torture mechanism
Lubricated with dust
Guides us down.
Compliment to a trash can
Saturated with bottles
And an empty medicine tube
To challenge a sleepless night
Guides us down.
I miss you on Thursdays
Your picture hangs crooked in my mind
red hair, black eye-liner, other colors smeared
By alcohol inflicted memory.
Guides us down.
We were going nowhere.
We were going nowhere.
You were going somewhere else.
