#impotent ohms

[jesusmoses-blog-blog]

okay. i demoed four songs from the album

next i will get The Drummer to play along to these

they are imperfect demos meant only to be accurate in terms of structure and timing

which they basically are.

after i record drums, these will be re-recorded to the drums

cool huh.

okay now i'm going to send my body through a pizza oven.

[jesusmoses-blog-blog]

I finished making drum machine beats for all the songs. I have trouble playing to a click track because I'm a dick. So I just make little drum beats. Next I will demo all my songs. I'll share all the demos so you can get a rough idea what my album will sound like. Then I will bring in the Drummer. Whoever that will be. Then more tracking. Then mixing. I love you.

[unspecializeart-blog-blog]

hey guys i'm gonna have my own website soon. probably maybe in months. everything happens seven times as slowly as i expect it to, but i did get the url meaningfulsports.com

i'm going to put a lot of art up there. mainly music, but we have some writing and sketch comedy too.

for now. 

also, we're thinking about doing an Illuminati video about sports. sports is controlled by the illuminati. that might happen. we just have to do some more research.

idk. that's some news. adios.

[jesusmoses-blog-blog]

just went through a big stack of paper that was mostly song lyrics

and most of it sucked, but there are a few songs 

that might work on the album

so i'm gonna probably update the list again eventually.

i need to play through/record some demos

and start putting together a vague idea of order

also need to go through a bunch of audio recordings from my phone

so that i can get conversation audio for the interludes--

i think this album will be pretty okay

when it's done

like pretty cool.

[jesusmoses-blog-blog]

i realized that i need to change my approach to the album.

i've been making a lot of shoddy pointless demos.

instead, i should just start on the final songs. 

i already know how the songs go so i should just record them

i made folders for each song.

this is important actually.

now i can take a structured approach to recording each song.

just going down the list.

i also need to find audio for interludes.

okay. 

that's all i am going to say right now.

[jesusmoses-blog-blog]

found 'i used to be alone' recording. i had forgotten about this.

i went through my tumblr for my various music projects and found this song.

i wrote it while going through a break up. it's called 'i used to be alone'

i think i'm going to add it to the 'possible track list'

in fact, at the bottom of this post, i'm going to update the possible track list.

let's see, this song is about breaking up with my last girlfriend. 

can't remember if she broke up with me or i her at the time.

we both broke up with each other a lot toward the end.

the same story again.

i write about girls mostly, because i am really lonely all the time.

but also, i always want to be alone.

i'm a poorly designed creature. 

and a redundant one. 

i wish i would write about other stuff more.

i'm a dope.

anyway, here's an updated track listing:

children dead

notes from a dead philosopher

birthday song

killed time

a pile of love notes

on the surface

i’m sorry i got too drunk, lupita

i used to be alone

the ghosts of memories

my ugly family

okay, these ten tracks--not in a particular order.

should i do more?

idk. maybe. probably.

maybe. maybe 12? 

i'll have to look around and see if i've written anything else.

maybe write something new.

idk. idk. idk.

[jesusmoses-blog-blog]

demo of 'a pile of love notes' is now listen-to-able since i have now recorded it

i was thinking about this: a lot of people say things about the negative subconscious things that they do. things they supposedly know. things that are inert in them (or something). things like 'i fall out of love easily' or 'i am the type of person who needs a lot of validation'. when we say these things, we accept them as inevitable consequences of our personality.

it's not fun to need validation or to hurt people by falling out of love with them. but we just accept it--we who say these things--I being one of we. and maybe we're not wrong to. maybe fighting to change these problems would be a hard and pointless thing to do. maybe these things are, in fact, inevitable. 

what do i know though. i can't even spell 'subconscious.' it got red lined every time i wrote it in this post (even in this paragraph). 

fuck. 

'a pile of love notes' is a song about a girl i fell desperately and unrealistically in love with because she let me slide my eleventh finger around in her wet spots. 

animal shit. 

i wrote a bunch of poems to her after she stopped talking to me. sent them to her email. she asked me to stop. i refused at first. then i did stop. 

i think i talked about her in a previous post. 'killed time' was also written about this girl. 

idk.

this is also one of the earliest songs i ever wrote on guitar. fueled by anxiety and sexual frustration, it is perfect for the album, i think. 

as for the technical side of this: i recorded the main guitar track with my roommates 'silvertone' acoustic guitar in my new room. when i read 'silvertone' i thought, 'this will be the second place of tones.' two of my roommates moved out recently and i took their room. i was wondering how the acoustics would work in this new spot, and so far it's the best of the three bedrooms in this house. 

i recorded the vocals in one of the common rooms of my apartment. also, when my roommates moved out, they took a bunch of furniture and rugs out of here. i felt sad and rejected when they left, but the absence of their stuff gave the room a natural reverb that made the vocals a little warmer.

i'm not a great singer folks, but these are my songs. i feel the way the song is more than anyone else does, and that means i have to sing them. sorry.

finally i recorded my fender squire electric guitar through a delay pedal and then directly into the interface. i had a friend who used to spell guitar 'pedals' like 'petals'. i like that better. like i am stepping on 'petals'. :-)

i tweaked volume and panning a tiny bit and added compression to the main guitar, vocals, and backing vocals. that's all i did post production. keepin it simple. 

it is just a demo anyway. i will redo it with a metronome later on. the ending is jacked up anyway--off time.

also, i don't know if i want to add drums bass or some other instrument yet. maybe harmonium? i just got one of those. may be cool. i'll have to think about it/do some foolin around.

so that's it, i guess.

here are the lyrics: 

“A Pile of Love Notes” 

I miss you on Thursdays

Walking the sidewalk between bars

The sun sets unevenly

Peach light of street lamps guides us down

  Guides us down.

  A stack of paper

Words pile on one another

together a torture mechanism

Lubricated with dust

  Guides us down.

  Compliment to a trash can

Saturated with bottles

And an empty medicine tube

To challenge a sleepless night

  Guides us down.

  I miss you on Thursdays

Your picture hangs crooked in my mind

red hair, black eye-liner, other colors smeared

By alcohol inflicted memory.

  Guides us down.

  We were going nowhere.

We were going nowhere.

You were going somewhere else.

[jesusmoses-blog-blog]

this morning i looked at the song list and chose to work on "killed time". this seems to be one of the more important songs thematically. it is about a brief relationship i had with a girl. as i described in a previous post, when i like someone, i usually scare them away with my desperation. this relationship was a typical example. also, in the subtext of this story, i was developing severe anxiety and depression related to a mix of my genetics, stress from full time school, and from the three jobs i was balancing. it was very bad.

it was very bad but ultimately it was very good. because of the development of these mental problems, and the mixture of the romanticism, i ended up writing a ton of songs about this girl and created a work ethic for art. it was only an insignificant two week fling where we got drunk a couple times and had sex. she didn't like how clingy i was, and i knew that we had nothing in common. she was a crude and mean drunk. idk. i still love her. :-) haven't talked to her in years but i have ~20 songs about her. probably. i don't really love her. i love this image in my head. this romanticism. it's great.

i would send her tons of desperate text messages and she would ignore them. i had nightmares about her all the time. she avoided me. one time, our mutual friend tricked her into coming out and hanging out with me at a bar. when i saw her, she told me that i shouldn't like her. she was purposely mean to me to try and get me to like her, but my image of her was stronger than her reality. she told me, she and her roommate would laugh at my texts and nicknamed me "crazy jesus" or whatever my real name is. then, she let me spend the night with her out of pity. "no sex though" she made me promise, and so we didn't.

never saw her again.

did email to apologize for how nuts i am. 

also, since "killed time" was written on piano, i feel like it will add diversity to the album. most songs will be guitar-centric. 

so the above is a shitty rendition of the song. i recorded it with my phone. it is off time and i sing out of key and hit wrong notes. it sucks, but it serves it's purpose. it gives a basic display of the groove of the song. i'm hoping it will be cool to come back and compare these rough demos to the final versions. however, i can't guarantee that anything will get better. oh well. 

here are the lyrics: 

Verse 1

Hey, from one object to another

underneath the covers

Verse 2

Hey, If I’m sure I’ve broke my mind

You surely don’t have time

Verse 3

Hey, Your arms and legs are everywhere

I’m trying not to stare

Verse 4

Hey, if it’s all the same

I’ll just walk away

and if it’s all the same to you

You’re the same too.