hello everyone! before i say anything, i want to say;
please keep any rude comments to yourself
if you have any problems with this or me as a person, talk to me professionally/respectfully or don't talk to me at all.
if you choose to not support me after i say this, that's you, that is your opinion and your choice, but please don't say anything out of pocket in my inbox or messages because of this.
now onto what i really have to say.
i've been thinking about this for a while. these thoughts have been going on for years, ever since i was in elementary school. i have always been scared to speak my mind about this, let alone even come to terms with them when it came to myself.
i am not at home in my body. not only am i insecure about it, but my body, does not feel like i own it, it doesn't feel like mine. it feels more like a puppet. like a game of mix and match kind of. my mind does not match with my body.
because of those things, that really took a toll on my mental well being and identity. i have lived my whole life being seen as a girl; being seen as feminine, soft, soft-natured, doll-like, ect. for years now, i have tried to convince myself that i should fit that category, that i should try and be as feminine as i could, as society says i should do.
but my mind doesn't want that. my mind says i am not a girl, i am anything other than that. while i try every day to say that i am a girl, no matter how hard i try and believe it, those thoughts always come back to prove me wrong.
but even if i do think off myself as a boy most of the time, i also like to be feminine sometimes. sometimes i like to be girly and to be seen as a girl, those are the times when i can come to terms with myself. but those moments are rare, i rarely feel like a girl.
ive had those moments in the past as well, countless times; i have enjoyed being a girl, and i have not. but as much as i do enjoy being a girl sometimes, i like being a boy more.
cutting to the chase here; i am a demiboy. i identify mainly as a guy and use he/him pronouns, but when i have my moments, i will want to be seen a girl. and as for my sexuality, i just want to be referred to as queer. not gay, lesbian, bisexual, or pansexual, just queer.
thank you for reading through all of this.
