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Tonight I find myself kneeling by the bed to pray. I haven't done this in a while so I don't know what to say but Lord I feel so small sometimes in this big old place. Yeah, I know there's more important things, but don't forget to remember me. Don't forget to remember me.
Don’t Forget To Remember Me by Carrie Underwood
This downtown apartment sure makes me miss home. And those bills there on the counter keep telling me I'm on my own. And just like every Sunday, I called momma up last night. And even when it's not, I tell her everything's alright. Before we hung up I said hey momma, don't forget, to tell my baby sister I'll see her in the fall. And tell Memaw that I miss her. Yeah, I should give her a call. And make sure you tell Daddy that I'm still his little girl. Yeah, I still feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be. Don't forget to remember me.
Don’t Forget To Remember Me by Carrie Underwood
DFTRM part 8
Alyss had let out a soft hum as Hadrian explained the Synth insult to him. It made sense why it was chosen as an insult, and as Hadrian laid it out on the table, she found herself even more glad that she had pulled a gun on the creep. Surprisingly, however, she had little to no concern about the fact that Hadrian had just admitted to her that he wasn’t human. In fact, she seemed to skip over any questions she probably should have about the humanoid thing, as if she was told every day that someone she knew wasn’t human. Afterall, wasn’t she herself accused of being un-human for her track record of creulty in her missions? Of course, she supposed this was not the same, but if she was worried about it at all, she wasn’t aware of it. “Well, he certainly is an idiot. He looks to be about our age, I’m surprised someone as dull and rash as he is, is still alive.” She commented. Where her focused had landed during his explanation, however, was his role as a lover. With a wicked grin she turned to him, ready to pry into that can of worms with a morbid curiosity. “You said you were meant to be a Lover, eh? Must have been for someone with a pretty heavy pain fetish, if the other night was any indication,” She was only slightly embarassed to be bringing up the… indcident, but she had a feeling that Hadrian would be even more so. Recalling the moment, the brawl had seemed to do nothing but bring them both to a feverish high that they had barely kept themselves from giving in to. Given their lifestyles, however, sometimes being able to take the pain was a lifesaver.
“I’m fine, Hadrian,” She started at his question, a bit taken aback by the concern in his voice. They had, however, only met the other day, and somehow they were already talking like they had known each other for years, and even sleeping -- platonically, of course -- with each other at night, apparently unable to fall asleep without the presence of another. “If he had truly upset me with that, I’d have one less bullet in my gun,” The threat was subtle, but true. She was not one to tolerate sexual assult, in any means, given her past. This man, however, had been trying to sell a ruse, and somehow she had found it in herself to give him just a little bit of mercy. If she hadn’t given that mercy, the man would have been dead the moment she had drawn her gun. A part of her wished that she had shot him, especially given the information Hadrian had given her.
With the car in park, she took the keys as Hadrian tossed them to her and let herself in, heading to settle on down in the piano room. Hadrian met her a few minutes later with a cup of tea, and she took with with a few words of gratitude. It was still steaming, so she set it on the cover of the piano before resuming the soft melody she had been playing. “It went fine, nothing too much to really ask about. Concerned about a head injury, but other than the slight memory loss, there doesn’t seem to be any other side effects,” She replied, her eyes on the keys as she played. “I shouldn’t have to go back for a while. They’re keeping me out on a medical leave for a while,” She added. She looked up to him then, a bit of that devilish smile still at play on her features. “Looks like you’re probably out on medical leave, too, if that bruising is any indication,” She commented, knowing that a few of the bruises had been her own doing.
She had been about to make another comment, somehow unable to use the normal filter she had around others with this man, when a phone went off. There was something oddly familiar about the ringtone, and after a few moments in which Hadrian -- who looked like he was suddenly seeing a ghost -- made no move to answer his phone, she realized it was her own. She pulled the device out of her pocket, and stared down at the screen. An image of a young girl that looked strikingly like her lit up the screen, and the name “Mimi” was at the top. Alyss frowned at the phone for a few moments, her mind taking off like a rocket. It was obvious that the girl in the picture was her own child, as she was both familiar but also completely unfamiliar. The name felt right, and yet Alyss wasn’t sure she had ever called anyone by that name before. It took her a few more moments of contemplation before she slowly swiped the green icon to the side and held the phone to her ear.
“...Hello?” She answered cautiously, feeling like a weight was sitting in her chest as she did. Something was off, she could feel it, but she couldn’t quite place it and that troubled her deeply. A happy, loud child’s voice piped up as soon as Alyss spoke, and she had little time to contemplate on whatever it was that was causing her unease.
“Mommy! You are home! Daddy said you were gone and weren’t going to be home for a while!” The girl chimed, and Alyss’s frown only deepened. Wasnt’t her husband gone…? Who was her child referring to as “Daddy” and why were they telling her daughter such a thing? She supposed that the girl wasn’t wrong, however, as according to James her home was unsuitable for her to live in, and as such she would likely not have a place in which to host her daughter for a while. That begged the question, though, who was taking care of Mimi? And what had happened to her father; or more importantly, who was he? It was frustrating that she couldn’t seem to remember, but she could hear her daughter waiting for an answer on the other end of the line, and so she took a deep breath and came up with something to tell the girl.
“I won’t be home for a while, darling. Work is keeping me for a little bit more, okay?” Her voice was gentle, her frustration pushed to the side by her maternal instinct. Her daughter cooed on the other line, before jumping right into the next topic.
“I learned my ABC’s like you asked me to! Can I sing them to you?” The little girl asked, and Alyss felt her heart swell just a bit with pride, though she didn’t remember asking her daughter such a thing. Hell, until just a few moments she hadn’t even known her daughters name or what she looked like.
“Of course, sweetheart,” Alyss replied, and that was all the girl needed to launch off into her rendition of the ABC’s. Alyss laughed softly, surprised to find that there were tears in her eyes, and did her best to bite them back as her daughter sang all the letters of the alpabet to her, although not quite in the right order. “That was great, sweetheart,” She commented after her daughter was done, earning her a happy sound from the girl.
“I miss you, Mommy!” The girl cooed, and that was the hit that broke the dam. The tears Alyss had been holding back started to spill over, and it took all of her strength to keep the pain out of her voice when she replied.
“I miss you, too,” She replied, but before her daughter was able to answer, there was another voice on the other side of the line, and the woman sounded somewhat worried and frantic.
“Mimi! You know you’re not supposed to call your mom without asking me first! Her work is very important!” She could just barely hear the woman chastising her daughter, a voice that was once again familiar but unfamiliar. Before Alyss could say anything to her daughter, however, the woman had taken the phone and was now chatting away at Alyss quickly. “I am so sorry about that, Alyss. She missed you, and I should have been watching better. Everything’s okay, so don’t worry, and we’ll see you when you’re cleared from work, okay? Bye!” The woman’s voice was quick, as if she was trying to hurry the end of the phone call, and she could just barely hear the start of Mimi saying her own goodbye before the phone went dead. Confused and feeling rather heartbroken, Alyss slowly put down the phone, staring blankly in front of her. The tears continued to fall down her cheeks, but she didn’t seem to notice them at all. All she felt was the twisting in her heart, and a longing to just hold her daughter, to see her face to face. Why was she being denied that? She didn’t understand why the Establishment hadn’t sent her to the house of whoever was looking after her child. After all, the woman had sounded familiar to her, and she was sure that there was a familial relation there. After all, she could hardly imagine that she would just let anyone watch her daughter for months on end.
“I-I’m sorry..,” Alyss finally said after several long moments, realizing that Hadrian was still in the room with her. It was unlike her to cry, and it was definitely unlike her to cry in front of others, but in the past 48 hours she had cried twice in front of this man. It was unbecoming of an Establisher, especially one with the reputation of being the deadliest in the entire organization. She wiped the tears from her eyes, but that did nothing to stop them, nor the heartache that was the source of them. “I don’t know what’s come over me, I’m normally not like this,” She added, though a part of her wondered if that was even true. She had forgotten so much about her life, perhaps at home she did cry this much and she had simply forgotten it.
“I just… Am I a bad mother, Hadrian? For forgetting my own *child*?” It was a heavy question to ask him, she knew this, and yet she couldn’t stop herself. She felt absolutely awful. Here she was out of the field, and she couldn’t even spend time with her family, or recall who they were or what they liked to do. The only reason she knew her daughter’s name was Mimi and that she looked like a younger version of herself was purely because of the phone’s pre-set caller ID. “I must be, because here I am, perfectly capable of spending time with her, and yet… I’m not even trying to get to her…”
18 years have come and gone. For momma they flew by, but for me they drug on and on. We were loading up that Chevy both tryin' not to cry. Momma kept on talking, putting off good-bye. Then she took my hand and said baby don't forget, before you hit the highway you better stop for gas. There's a 50 in the ashtray in case you run short on cash. Here's a map and here's a Bible if you ever lose your way. Just one more thing before you leave, don't forget to remember me.
Don’t Forget To Remember Me by Carrie Underwood
don’t forget to remember me // carrie underwood
"So many people always try to help me carry my luggage and help me do things I can do myself. If I can do it myself, I'm going to do it myself. I'm not going to let other people do it for me, and I think that's a big part of where I came from. I'm not a real prissy girl." - Carrie Underwood
Carrie Underwood + Kids
