i've realized that the actual cause of direct mode is, rather than attending to the affective feeling, not attending to the mental aspect. i also realized - with the help of nikolai's recent HP post, that the most free and peaceful state i can currently attain is the state in which i am not attending to anything, so that is what i am now pursuing. i am currently in a full PCE - it is so interesting how my fingers keep reaching across the keyboard =] my hands seem huge and everything seems way closer to my eyes, i am really going to pursue this thing. shinzen young's description of shikantaza - "Let whatever happens happen. As soon as you're aware of an intention to control your attention - drop that intention."
Alex
http://dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/discussion/-/message_boards/message/3062568