#diary 2021

[dirtprism]

[coastaldragon]

Dragon Diary 2/5/2020

What a peculiar night last night was.

I struggled to fall asleep, despite being exhausted. I closed my eyes and decided to visualize home, my lair, to lull myself to sleep.

I didn’t fall asleep. But at the same time, I lost control of my thoughts in a way I can’t recall having ever dealt with before. Except maybe the first month of my awakening.

I was home. On my shore, by my lair. I was myself. And I was able to see myself in a way I hadn’t before. In detail like...like reality. Not the hazy blur I usually was in my minds eye. I independently visualized every part of myself. My scales, my belly, my snout, my horns, my sail, my wings, my paws, claws, and eyes.

For some reason it seemed like my scales were...softer. Less defined than I’ve seen them prior. I seemed smooth, but still had texture to my skin. I was a deeper teal than usual, as well, but I think I still shimmered in the light. This doesn’t seem...true to me, really. The fish-like scales still ring true, so I’m not sure what this is about.

I did finally got a truly good look at my sail, though. It’s about how I’ve usually seen it, but I noticed that it’s darker on the edges and lighter towards my body. That’s the opposite of how I painted it in SL, which has always felt a little off to me. Glad that mystery’s solved!

I could really feel my paws and claws, too. It was so, so nice.

This...dream? Vision? Seemed to be on a set path. It started in my lair, and then moved in order from there to my shore, up the cliff, into the jungle, to the pond and river and the other cave there before moving back through the jungle up to the floating islands, then a dive down into the sea and reef and a visit to the underwater caverns there. I was my true self during this entire journey, as though I was patrolling the boundaries of my territory.

At each stop my mind paused and visualized the details of the location. The lay of the sand and tide in my lair, the golden color of the shore, the rocky brown cliffs, the colorful unearthly jungle, the crystal-clear pond and river, the streaks of labradorite in the jungle cave....On and on and on.

I wasn’t asleep. I know I wasn’t. But I wasn’t in control of these visualizations. It was so strange and wonderful, I can only call it a vision of home. As though it reached out to me from beyond the stars to help me remember.

I can’t help but be sad that I didn’t...see anyone else though. My brother and the white female were nowhere to be seen. There were no other animals at all, save for the fish in the ocean. I find that strange. I wonder if it means something. Did one of them send this to me, maybe? Why?

Regardless, I’m immensely thankful for the journey my mind and heart took me on last night. Even if it cost me rest. I feel more in touch with myself and my home than I have in a very, very long time.

[dirtprism]

moodboard

[dirtprism]

solstice

[dirtprism]

[dirtprism]

november morning

[dirtprism]

the boy and I took a nice walk this afternoon after stopping by the graveyard

[dirtprism]

warm blackberry breeze beneath the setting sun of late june