#diary'

[whimsicaldays]

Monday June 29, 2017

I’m at the scariest most unsure place I’ve ever found myself in this life. Is that just inevitable with change? Is that uncomfortable feeling of the unknowing completely necessary to get myself to a place that I need to be? I hope so. I have this deep fear of being lonely right now, which is silly because in these last few months I’ve been so overwhelmed by the amount of love and support I’ve found from people in my life, and yet even still it’s in these most unsure moments that I’m forced (Or force myself) to let go of these comfortable things in my life, that the “alone in a crowded room” feeling begins to creep up on me once again. I know that I can’t stay forever. I know that this place couldn’t be a permanent  for me, but what now? What’s next? Is another door going to open for me? Is it going to be filled with more love and fulfillment than the one I just walked out of? That’s the scary part of taking leaps. & as independent and very "Go as the wind blows you” as I like to think myself, I also have a big part of me that get’s so complacent, and has a hard time letting go. 

I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. I’ve never been so sure of that word,  but here it is. I’m angry, and I’m sad and dissapointed, and every silly word from every silly person scares the shit out of me. You scare the shit out of me and I love you. I knew it when I cried in bed all day when I broke up with you. I knew it when the boy kissed me, and his lips were nowhere near as sweet as yours. I knew it when I when I walked away from a really great person, because he wasn’t you. & I really knew it when you held me in your arms and the world could stop spinning, the air could could be drawn completely from my lungs, and I wouldn’t want to let go.

I love you.

[yuuiw95]

IUDって知ってる？男性のコンドームだけじゃない！女性の避妊器具。

今日はすこし、日本社会ではタブーとされてるかんじの話をしよう。

違うオフィスにブラジル人のめーっちゃいい子が友達がいるんだけど ランチの時に日本ではまず出てこない話題であろう、

「女性の避妊器具」について

の話をしました。

本題に入る前に、そのブラジル出身の彼女の話をします。 ブラジルっていうと褐色の肌の人を連想する人が多いかもしれないけど 実は白人もいたりなんかします。 ブラジル自体が「人種のるつぼ」とか言われるくらいので まぜまぜなのは確かで、人種差別がないとか言われたりもしますね。 （人種差別がない、というのはブラジルの対外国への自国の見せ方 なので実際は人種差別は存在する、というのを大学の「アフロ・ブラジル文化論」という授業で知った） ということで、彼女は白人です。 わたし（159㎝)よりも背が低くて ブラジルっぽく陽気な感じで、 いつもにこにこな彼女です。 カナダの大学に通っていて、今は大学院生！

では、本題に。

女性の避妊器具について。 ジェンダーに興味があったりするわたしなので うっすら聞いたことはありましたが、 色々と詳しく聞くのがこれがはじめて！

日本では一般的に知られていない避妊方法です。 まず、これはIntrauterine Device（IUD）っていう名前で知られていて カナダではポピュラーな避妊具らしいのです。

これね。 画像はWikipediaから頂戴しました。

中にいれるタイプ。 きちんと病院に行って、ドクターに装着してもらうそうです。

IUDの寿命は5年。 1度装着すれば、5年は妊娠の心配がないと教えてもらった。 しかも、男性用コンドームよりも避妊率が格段に高いし ピルみたいにホルモンをコントロールするわけではないので 体調もそんなに変わらないみたい。 わたしの友達は、ピルが合わなくて体調が悪い時に 友達からIUDをつけた、という話を聞いて そのあと立て続けに親友がIUDをやったって聞いて みんなピルより快適に過ごせているみたいだったから 自分も！！！ってなったらしい。 気になるのが装着時！ わたしの友達は笑いながら話してくれたんだけど、 中にいれる時がか　な　り痛いらしい！！！ It was sooooo painful!!!! って、すごい熱を込めて言っていました 笑 相当痛かったんだろうな、、、と。 上の画像を見れば一目瞭然。

T字のプラスチックを膣の中にいれるんですから それはそれは痛いでしょうね 涙

「痛すぎてその日は1人では歩けなくて、彼氏に支えてもらいながら歩いたよ！」 ってお年寄りの歩き方を真似しながら話してくれました。 今年の8月にIUDを装着したと言っていたので 「入れるときそんなに痛かったら、出すときもっと痛いじゃん！」 ってわたしが言ったら、 「想像したくもないよ、、、」と。 うん、ぜったいに取り出すときのほうが痛いよね。涙

話は変わって気になるのが値段だよね、うん。

これが結構高いらしい。 400ドル。 友達は学生保険を使ったみたいで20ドルしか払わなかったの！ と話してくれました。20ドル、安い。 ちょっとググったら、日本では2万円から3万円みたいです。 高いね。 でも5年と考えたら、そうでもないのか？ んー、なんともいえない。 とまぁ、こんなかんじでランチの時に話をしていたんですけど そもそも

「ピル以外にも女性側で避妊のために何かできることがある。」

と知っている日本の若い女性ってどのくらいいるんだろう、とか。 「IUD」の存在を知っている人ってどのくらいいるんだろう、とか。 色々考えてしまったので、これを書いてます。

日本はリプロダクティブ・ヘルスの知識が薄いことで有名ですね。 保健の授業も、今思い出してみればそんなに詳しくやらなかったよなぁ。

わたしが覚えている限り、中学の保健の授業で習う避妊方法は 男性用コンドームと女性用ピルの2つだった気がするんですが、 どうでしょう。 わたし世代の人、あってますか～？笑

話が逸れるけど、 この分野の保健のテストで卵子の数とか精子の数を書く欄があって テスト返却の時に、 「勉強してなくてとんでもない数字を書いた奴が多すぎる！！！」 と先生が言っていたのを思い出しました 笑

女の子同士でも、もっとこういうトピックについて話してもいいと思うし 付き合ってる人同士もお互いに気軽に話せるといいよね。 昔ほどではないのかもしれないけど、 欧米と比べたら、日本はまだまだ性についての話を オープンにするのはタブーという風潮があるから難しいのだけれど。

そして！！！！

このブログを最後まで読んだあなたは、 勇気を出して友達に 「ねーねー。知ってた？」 とIUDのことを話してみてください！！！笑

IUDについて気になった人はぜひググってみてね◎

おわり。

[dajmisen]

I attend lecture about non binary today and the funny thing is, that they played “Break free” and when this guy said - “it’s clip made by Ruby Rose” every woman in a room was like “aaaaaaahhdihio erh iorh” 

[cloudyeol]

“You know I love you!"

"You know nothing about love."

“I say love because I feel it for you."

Kim Sungyeol & Alia Jung

[cloudyeol]

   His fingers shook. It was not cold or stressful, it was from anger. He was angry at himself. Kim Sungyeol had managed to get himself into the same situation again. He had his heart broken. It had taken him so long to break down the walls around him but again, rather than happiness, pain had found its way inside. Alia was the most important person to him. She was his number one, but now, even she had left him. He obviously wasn't as important to her, seeing as she had broken up with him through a text. A text. It felt humiliating. It felt like the world was crumbling down. Sungyeol was done with it. Humans weren't worth it. He didn't deserve love and he would probably never get it. He would die alone. He could see it now. Maybe Alia was looking just for a warm body. Maybe she just wanted him for his looks. He'd never know. He'd never trust her. Friends, she said in the text. They would stay friends, she said. Never. Never would Sungyeol ever utter a word in her presence. She was as dead as the memory of his family. It took him two bottles of vodka to get drunk, but in the end, he was satisfied with the result. Tears made him feel lighter. Tears of being abandoned, tears of sadness, tears of craving for the one he loved. He fell asleep on the carpet with his face wet with tears. As he woke up with a crick on his neck, he thought that maybe that was what's best for everyone.

[jmrivera18]

November 22th

We are always the same age inside.

GERTRUDE STEIN

Remember how amazing it felt to be a little kid? Running around outside and playing with your friends without a care in the world? Just because we grow up doesn't mean we have to lose our inner child. That little girl or boy is still inside you. They don't get to call the shots anymore, but they should still be able to play and experience pure joy.

Goal: Remember to find enjoyment in your work and find fun in everything you do.

[asdfghjkathhahayeah]

I have to celebrate and be glad because this person was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.

Prodigal Son lang ang peg? Hahahahaha.

Hello, Monday. We are told to wear yellow shirt para daw mag commemorate sa Edsa Revo. Aw, mao say ampay sa mga tawo kay dili mag uniform. Waw. Sayo ko nakamata kay naghunahuna kos akoang mga pambuhaton karong wala nas Ate Ely dinhis balay. Mao guro toy nungdan mao nakamata ko og sayo or egsayted lang jud ko kay magkita nagyud mi? Aw. 

Pag abot nakos skwelahan kay daghan gyud kaayog nakayellow. Nagquiz mi sa Fin. Acctg dayon effortless kaayo mi kay basta. Hahahaha. Paghuman namo ug answer nagbuhat mis amoang assignment nga interview sa SocSci. Unya kay wala man koy nainterview, gabuotbuot nalang gyud ko. Buhat2 ug ngalan dayon ang address kay Valencia, Bukidnon. Dayon blablah. 

Adto ko'g SC para malinawon akoang pagsulat. Dayon there you are! :3 Mehehehe. Aaaah. Hehehehehe. YOU. Dayon mihapit ra to kay klase paman. Naa ju'y teaser ah. HAHAHAHAHA. Gapadayon kos akoang pagsulat. ;3 Dayon mibalik na dayon sya. Gihatagan nakog katong candy nga Fres dayon ang suwat kay "I need you" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Paghuman gapadayon ra japun kos akoang pagsulat taman nahuman rjud ko.

Skerda na dayon mi'g padung Gaisano dayon galibog asa kaon. Bintot bintot. Ang ending kay Jollibee. :) Nakakita kog salida dadtos David's nga chui. Ganahan ko mulantaw ato kay kilig maski'g wa koy nadunggan. Sila Kim ug Xian man to. Daoy. Hahahahahaha! :) After ato, nulod mi'g dept store kay palit ug liston. Basta mao nto oy.

Balik sa skwelahan ug sa dihang nakalimot ko nga kani man diay akoang suot kailangan pa ayuhon ayha musulods gate. Fu oy! Nanghulam nalang kog jacket ni Dino. 

Sa socsci wala'y klase. Dayon sa Econ ambi kog way klase, quiz diay. 2pm pa gani misulod na si Sir. Ang question kay "What is macroeconomics?" Mao nadaw to amoang final exam. Shoots! Nayabag! Hahahahahaha. 2:30pm nanaog na mi. 

Giingnan kong Macmac nga padaganun kog Vice President for Media sa JPIA. Dili man ko kay tapulan man kaayo ko. Gikapoy na gani ko atong member rakos Documentation Team/Media, unsa nalang og ako ang magleader2? Hahaha. Di jud ko ganahan kay mabusy ug ayo. :3 Unya kung ako, kay ako na nuon jud pud tanan tanan ana kay di gyud ko kamao mangayog tabang bahalag nagkalisod. HAHAHAHA. Puyo oy! :3 

Adto mig harp kay naa man dadto amoang mga classmate nga buang. Selfie sa ipad ni Galang. :3 Dayon chika nilang Bruce ug Harvey. :)))  Niuli kog 4 kapin, nag ilis. Sa amoang PE kay karon rjud ko kabalo nga tourna na diay. Officiating ko :3 Mehehehe. 7 kapin na nahuman. Niadto kog skul after kay naa may ga gm nga brownout kuno sa amoang dapit. So nagcharge skos skul taman 8:15pm. Ningsibat dayon mi after nakog charge gamay. Naghike mi'g padulong sa SMC Engineering. Pag abot namo dadto kay si "LOST AND IS FOUND" kay nangita ug mao to, mibalik kog Columban, gahike ra japun kay murag duol raman jud kaayo. :3 Igo ragyud nako sya gkuha dadto dayon nanakay mig motor padung ila Marian.

Blah blah blah <3 Nangaon mi, si Macmac galuto. Char gyud ni sya ui. Kadugayan nanguli. Naghike ko, kuyog si Lost and Found. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! <3 Good night.

February 24, 2014.