#dibubabbles

[dibu-johndoe]

"Hello it's me, Your awkward friend Who draws porn and then shows you with no shame"

[dibu-johndoe]

Im rewatching Fruits Basket

For nostalgia and to see if I'd still like it

But oh boy...Tohru's big bug eyes

[dibu-johndoe]

When you start thinking too much late at night and you want to articulate a thing but FB doesn't seem like the right place to do that

(Just to be clear, I understand that some people use the terms synonymously, but they mean different things to me)

Being gender fluid is strange in that unlike non-binary, I easily shift from feeling comfortable with either, neither, or both 'boy' or 'girl', from one moment to the next with no rhyme or reason behind it.

On days when I'm feeling feminine and want to be a pretty girl, I get the craving to grow my hair long again, and mourn having my old curls back

And then the next moment I'm fantasizing about cutting it shorter than it already is.

That's just an aesthetic struggle most of the time, because the majority of the time I like to skirt the line and be as androgynous as possible, just as preference.

However, from an identity standpoint, I find that I'm no where near as androgynous in person as I can make myself appear in photos, so being what I would consider a pretty obviously afab person, it's almost like I MUST keep my hair short in order to fight back against preconceived notions about who I am.

Just the other day some friends sent me loads of old photos of us more than a decade ago and when I sent them to my parents for fun and giggles, pretty much the only thing of any value my mother said to me was "oh I miss/love your long hair!" Which was pretty absurd to me because as a snotty little 11 year old, I barely knew how to take care of it anyway, and it didn't look all that cute.

Her comment just made me want shave my head. (which I've already considered more than once, and then I fear for my femme days and feeling UGH-LEE)

To be fair, it's not as if my parents explicitly know I don't identify as 'cis', but it still made me roll my eyes.

I dunno.

[dibu-johndoe]

At Barnes N Noble's cafe

Me: -trying to secretly draw Ethan-

@thedionlee: "I RECOGNIZE THOSE LOVE HANDLES ANYWHERE!"

[dibu-johndoe]

So today someone came to sign their puppy up for training and when I asked the puppy’s name, I went to go spell it like I’ve always seen it spelled: “Kiara”

But the pet parents corrected me when I started writing it and said it was with a “Ch,” I hesitated for a half second and they informed me it was Italian.

I asked them if it was the female spelling for light–it was–and no I don’t speak not a damn lick of Italian, but literally because I am a stupid ass art nerd, I knew what it meant because of the term “Chiaroscuro” and I’m a fucking slut for Caravaggio

[dibu-johndoe]

I have a bachelors in fine art and I still can’t draw feet right

[dibu-johndoe]

Finally being motivated to do your art!

But realizing you have to go to bed for early morning responsibilities.

[dibu-johndoe]

The whistle portion of the very beginning of Hold Me Tight or Dont from Fall Out Boy is just playing INCESSANTLY in my head while I'm trying to go to sleep