#dick assman

[racingtoaredlight]

Opening Bell - August 22nd, 2016

This photo is from Minnesota. Locals believe that this tree was dead for hundreds of years until former Wisconsin quarterback Joel Stave signed with the Vikings at which point life returned to its branches.

Sad news out of Canada to start your day with: Dick Assman has passed away.

The AP Top 25 college football poll’s been released. Whoopty-shit. Your favorite team is ranked too high and I hate them.

Joe Posnanski went to ten Olympic events in a single day and wrote about it. My only quarrel was him not agreeing with me that Rhythmic Gymnastics is the stupidest thing in life.

MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred offered some potential ideas for generating more action and speeding up baseball games. What doesn’t make sense to this reporter is if you’re looking for quicker games why limit shifts which exist to get more people out. The problem for baseball though is the relative lack of action on the field is mostly attributable to pitchers throwing the ball too damn fast anymore and you’re left with a lot of strikeouts and balls not being put into play.

China builds the world’s longest and tallest glass bottom bridge. RELATED: Our own spencer096 is taking a leave of absence to go live like the non-internet version of troll and take up a residence underneath it for any stray, uh, leavings.

A Texas execution has been halted because the guy didn’t actually kill anybody. Mighty nice of them.

We’ve all been here, a mother bit a driving instructor after he said it was unsafe for her son to take his driving test. Personally I would never bite a DMV employee since they’re so naturally grimy.

How’s about some Monday Mozart to get the blood flowing.

No

[wackywikipedia]

"Assman received a number of contracts for commercial appearances, was asked to run for public office, and received many marriage proposals. Assmania came to a close in August when Assman visited the Ed Sullivan Theater and was presented with a bouquet of roses by Letterman."

Wikipedia article on Dick Assman.

[borromini]