#dictionary stories

[dictionarystory]

Just in time for the holidays, a seasonal edition of Dictionary Theatre featuring the voices of the Bay Area's Resound Ensemble. 

[jezburrows]

I’m officially announcing something cool in a few days and made a gif to celebrate. Fun fact about the gif: If you watch it more than 5 times, you automatically become a member of the Illuminati, so that’s neat. 

[dictionarystory]

Back in July, I got together with songwriter and upstanding gentleman Tom Rosenthal to record the first in a series of short films, each featuring one story from the upcoming book. Enjoy, and—in true YouTube parlance—please like and subscribe.

[dictionarystory]

Chin Up

As late afternoon merged imperceptibly into early evening, a warm September evening, I went for a long walk. A peaceful riverside amble before dark, where the blackwood, the box, and the bastard oak grew. Needed a change of scene.      The murmur of bees in the rhododendrons.      The birds were tweeting in the branches.      Planes passed overhead.      A car horn.      A flourish of trumpet.      The scratch of a match lighting a cigarette. (I have many vices but smoking is the big one. I blame you for that.)      There were echoes and scents that awoke some memory in me—we went for a swim in the river, but the water was a touch too chilly for us. The weather was terrible, do you remember? It was raining hard. We took a bus back to the city center, wet clothes dripping onto the floor.      Where are you living now? Are you all right? Are you keeping company with anyone special these days? Have you lost your taste for fancy restaurants?      Your problems seem larger than life at that time of night. With a suspicion of a smile, I strolled around, muttering to myself, you’ll be okay, kiddo.

[dictionarystory]

In the Beginning

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth, artisanal cheeses, the bleakness of winter, morse code, deviled eggs, erogenous zones, the feeling of fullness you acquire from eating brown rice, gendered occupations, healthy competition, copyright infringement, cherries jubilee, kicky high-heeled boots, lite beer, misshapen fruit, nonsense poetry, oral hygiene, postmodernist theory, quaint country cottages, roller hockey, scented soap, acid trips, unbridled lust, vegetative spores, whitewater rafting, xenophobia, young love, and zippy new sedans. Then he dried up and Phil couldn’t get another word out of him.

[dictionarystory]

Madame Eva

“You'll never amount to anything.” Her voice was flat and emotionless.      They sat looking at each other without speaking. He slapped down a fiver. She considered him coolly for a moment. Madame Eva bent once more over the crystal ball. Her eyes dilated in the dark. She sat back and exhaled deeply.      “You'll get used to it.”

[jezburrows]

If you miss the days when I actually did illustration work and didn’t endlessly bang on about writing a book, then this will have you conflicted: The next Dictionary Stories newsletter has plenty of that banging on, but it’ll also have plenty of these peeks into the notebooks that I filled with sketches for the book. It’ll go out later this week and will be a grand old time. Perhaps subscribe why not? 

[dictionarystory]

My True Love Gave to Me

Twelve labours of Hercules, Eleven gallons of diesel Ten head of cattle, Nine breeding pairs of birds, Eight Mbytes of memory, Six months of unclouded happiness, Five venturous young men, Four slices of bread, Three spoons of sugar, Two fundamentally different concepts of democracy, And a sin in the eyes of God.