Dictionary Stories @dictionarystory - Tumblr Blog

Just in time for the holidays, a seasonal edition of Dictionary Theatre featuring the voices of the Bay Area's Resound Ensemble.

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Back in July, I got together with songwriter and upstanding gentleman Tom Rosenthal to record the first in a series of short films, each featuring one story from the upcoming book. Enjoy, and—in true YouTube parlance—please like and subscribe.

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Chin Up

As late afternoon merged imperceptibly into early evening, a warm September evening, I went for a long walk. A peaceful riverside amble before dark, where the blackwood, the box, and the bastard oak grew. Needed a change of scene. The murmur of bees in the rhododendrons. The birds were tweeting in the branches. Planes passed overhead. A car horn. A flourish of trumpet. The scratch of a match lighting a cigarette. (I have many vices but smoking is the big one. I blame you for that.) There were echoes and scents that awoke some memory in me—we went for a swim in the river, but the water was a touch too chilly for us. The weather was terrible, do you remember? It was raining hard. We took a bus back to the city center, wet clothes dripping onto the floor. Where are you living now? Are you all right? Are you keeping company with anyone special these days? Have you lost your taste for fancy restaurants? Your problems seem larger than life at that time of night. With a suspicion of a smile, I strolled around, muttering to myself, you’ll be okay, kiddo.

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In the Beginning

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth, artisanal cheeses, the bleakness of winter, morse code, deviled eggs, erogenous zones, the feeling of fullness you acquire from eating brown rice, gendered occupations, healthy competition, copyright infringement, cherries jubilee, kicky high-heeled boots, lite beer, misshapen fruit, nonsense poetry, oral hygiene, postmodernist theory, quaint country cottages, roller hockey, scented soap, acid trips, unbridled lust, vegetative spores, whitewater rafting, xenophobia, young love, and zippy new sedans. Then he dried up and Phil couldn’t get another word out of him.

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Madame Eva

“You'll never amount to anything.” Her voice was flat and emotionless. They sat looking at each other without speaking. He slapped down a fiver. She considered him coolly for a moment. Madame Eva bent once more over the crystal ball. Her eyes dilated in the dark. She sat back and exhaled deeply. “You'll get used to it.”

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My True Love Gave to Me

Twelve labours of Hercules, Eleven gallons of diesel Ten head of cattle, Nine breeding pairs of birds, Eight Mbytes of memory, Six months of unclouded happiness, Five venturous young men, Four slices of bread, Three spoons of sugar, Two fundamentally different concepts of democracy, And a sin in the eyes of God.

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Barbara

The whole world seemed to be sleeping, apart from Barbara. She found herself in bed in a strange place—a research station in the rain forest, a bird sanctuary—abandoning herself to moony fantasies: A research biologist with impeccable credentials was fingered for team leader, and she had been deputed to look after him while Clarissa was away. He had charm, good looks, and an amusing insouciance; she had a thing about men who wore glasses, men of culture, men with passions unruled. She had had plenty of flirtations—now she had fallen in love. Color bloomed in her cheeks. He leaned forward to take her hand. She looked down, terrified that he would read fear on her face— A sudden sound in the doorway startled her. A shiver shook her slim frame. She lodged this idea in the back of her mind for future reference.

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What He Is

He’s a deeply sick man from whom society needs to be protected. He's an egotistical, mean-spirited, abusive man. He's a lying, cheating, snake in the grass. He's a treacherous brain-damaged old vulture. He’s emerged as a racist and an anti-feminist. He's a shameless publicity seeker. He's arrogant and opinionated. He’s all talk. He's a bumbling fool. He's a real character. He’s a bit of a womanizer. He’s by no means the only senior politician who has mislaid his moral compass. He’s being unfairly ganged up on. He's as devious as a politician needs to be. He's a good guy at heart. He's a very strong leader, very presidential in his performance. He’s very much a man of the people. After a while, you get used to it.

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Floor Exercise

1. Sit on the floor, and spread your legs. 2. Keeping your mouth closed, breathe in through your nostrils. Try to keep calm. 3. Lie down and bring your knees up toward your chest. 4. Lying flat on your back, twist your body onto one side. Keep still. 5. Keep your knees slightly bent, and keep your head up. Keep still. 6. Just stop talking and listen to me. 7. Stand up straight with both arms at your sides. 8. Stop crying and pull yourself together. 9. Repeat this exercise five times a week. 10. Why don’t you go upstairs and lie down?

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Devoted Tumblr followers! Changes are afoot:

Dictionary Stories has a new and totally redesigned home at dictionarystories.com. From today, new stories will be posted there, as well as here. Bookmark it, maybe! You can also follow to your heart’s content at Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

Dictionary Stories is going to be a book! A real one! It’ll be published by @harperperennial in 2018. If you’re interested in hearing how a book like this comes together, I’ll be writing a fortnightly-ish newsletter about it. Subscribe to it, perhaps!

That’s all. See you on the other side.

Pasadena, 11pm

We met by accident at a party in Los Angeles. The music was so loud that I had to strain to hear what she was saying. She was a tall, dark woman, with an unusual face—a work of art. She wore pink lipstick. She wore a cream silk shirt. She wore a blue skirt with white stripes. I was sure I'd seen her before. We went down some steps into the garden, and she put some dry sticks on the fire. There was something strange about the way she spoke. She told me her husband was dead, that she was from a traditional Jewish family. She gazed into the fire. The colour suddenly faded from her cheeks. "Have you ever fired a gun before?" I stared at her blankly. "How happy are you with regard to your work?" Her bracelets jingled on her thin wrist. We looked at each other in silence. She gave a little smile. "You really are serious about this, aren't you?" She threw a bucket of water on the fire. "You can reach me at this phone number."

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Harry Potter and the Once-In-A-Lifetime Business Opportunity in Southern California

I was doing the ironing when he called—the actor Daniel Radcliffe who plays the hero in the Harry Potter films. He asked me to go to California with him. He plans to plant fruit trees. It was a very difficult decision to make, but my job was making me miserable, and citrus fruits are a good source of vitamin C.

#collins cobuild primary learner's dictionary #dictionary stories

Spy vs. Spy vs. Spy vs. Spy

The double life of a freelance secret agent? My nerves are shot. This is all getting too deep for me. At about ten at night, I got a call. A cold, dead voice. He told me my telephones were tapped and I was being watched—they see me as a traitor, a sellout to the enemy. I never thought Stash would rat on me. Times have changed. He had seen which way the wind was blowing. How cold and calculating he was. Little did he know what wheels he was putting into motion. Trusting to the cover of night, I ventured out. I went to see Caroline, but nobody was at home. The garden was overgrown and deserted. Mary vanished without a trace. Lizzie seemed to vanish into thin air, as if her presence were merely notional. I should never have trusted her. My own friends sold me down the river. A cabal of dissidents. A pack of wolves baying at the moon. It looked like curtains for me.

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Base Camp

“Can I ask you something?” “Yes, of course.” “Why is she here?” “Susan and I do everything together. She's a wise woman.” “She's an 83-year-old pensioner who still enjoys cycling.” “She's a bit deaf, but her mind is still sharp.” “She is now totally deaf.” “I'm sorry, I don't follow.” “You really are serious about this, aren't you?” “She's a calm, patient woman.” “Mount Everest is the highest mountain in the world.” “As you get older it's important to keep active.” For a few seconds, nobody spoke. A strong wind was blowing from the north. “Well, shall we go?”

#collins cobuild primary learner's dictionary

Personal Assistant

I am writing in reference to your advertisement for a personal assistant. I can type your essays for you. I'm a fast reader. Do you take sugar in your coffee? I worked as a teacher for 40 years. I set my alarm clock for seven o'clock every morning. I do yoga twice a week. I like most types of music. I've been singing professionally for 10 years. I like singing hymns. I am a Roman Catholic priest. It is impossible for me to get another job at my age. If I get this job, I'll be able to buy a new car. You can reach me at this phone number. Please make your decision as soon as possible. I will always love you, whatever happens.

#collins cobuild primary learner's dictionary

1 New Message

Please leave a message after the beep. “Listen to me, I haven’t got much time; my flight leaves in less than an hour. You are in a very dangerous situation. Do as I say or else I won’t help you. A non-stop flight from London takes you straight to Antigua. There’ll be a car waiting for you, a car with foreign number plates. Every church here was named after a saint. It’s a high road along a mountain ridge. There is a footbridge that spans the little stream. The house has a large backyard. Dial the number, followed by the hash sign. Are you paying attention to what I’m saying? Lie down on your bed and make yourself comfortable. Don’t do anything that might cause suspicion. Try learning some relaxation techniques. Put on some nice soothing music. Get regular exercise. Do you understand what I’m telling you, Sean? In this game, there are no rules. Detectives are still searching for the four men. They’ll be back in three days. Be quiet and go to sleep. I’ll call you soon.”

#collins cobuild primary learner's dictionary

Ruthie

I've got a sick cousin over Fayetteville way. Her sight's none too good. I rang her this morning; she said she missed me something fierce. Her boyfriend left her for another woman. I heard tell that he went out west. She grew her hair long, decided to change her name, moved into that barn of a house. After the accident she didn't feel up to driving. She took to her room and was not at home to friends. It was easier in the old days. We had a good time, animals in close confinement. We used to go hunting. We done a lot of rodeoin'. We were always within sound of the train whistles, the lowing of cattle, the distant bark of some farm dog, the spit and hiss of a cornered cat, tunes in waltz time… Childhood seemed to last forever. I will never ever forget it. I'd better give her a ring tomorrow.

#new oxford american dictionary

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