Like can someone just tell me how its right?
Someone I once knew well, with what I thought was unbreakable confidence, called me out of the blue and was having (what I consider) a MILD anxiety attack. But it QUAKED his world. He never knew, never thought it possible, never fathomed the amount of fear, adrenaline, panic.. meaningless, reaaonless, utterly crushing and all focus consuming worry that came with an anxiety attack.
He apologized to me SOBBING about how he told me one day to "just let what happens happen" and one time "just stop being sad". He begged me to tell him how I voted and how I held myself together and to tell him how not to want to die over something.
And for all of the YEARS I begged and wished he could understand how much it hurt me he didn't understand my anxiety or panic attacks. All the times I wanted him to know just ONCE what I felt every single day of my life. For all the times.. I romanticized a partner who understood and even experienced some of my worries.
And I don't think my PTSD, my past choices, my own anything... can make me feel worse than the moment he sobbed into my ear over the one thing I most wanted him to understand.
