#didsupport

[sakps]

Y’know, having DID makes me sad. Not because it’s hard or problematic, but because I’ve grown attached to the others. We know we’re parts of a whole, but we still acknowledge each other as individuals and as people. We still treat each other like people, even if we’re just fragments and not the whole thing.

But that’s my point. We want to get better. We want to fix our mental state. But doing so means killing us, to a degree.

We gain a healthier mental state, but lose each other. And Saint, being our prime specimen, will live like he just lost family when we go.

It makes it hard to want to get better, which sucks.

-Kaine

[sakps]

Hi, we’re new here.

We made this account cuz we kinda just wanted support and a little advice about how to handle certain things.

We have Dissociative Identity Disorder. There are five of us, and all of us share this account. We have some questions and concerns and just general complains that we felt like putting out into the world, so here we are

If anyone reading this has any questions about how our condition works or anything, just ask :)

[sakps]

So I have a question for people in the “split personality” communities. Currently, there are five of us who are dating one partner, because it just simplified things. We don’t really like polyamory as a concept and it makes us uncomfortable, with the catch being that each of us dating a different person makes us uncomfortable as well. We’re a relatively newly discovered (meaning we didn’t know about it until recently) system, being less than 6 months old. We’ve been having to figure out all kinds of semantics and rules and shit because of it, and we were just wondering how other systems handle things like that? Like how you handle romantic relationships with multiple facing alters in the system. Any advice is much appreciated!

Note: we’re very happy with our partner. We love our boyfriend and we wouldn’t want it any other way. The question is more of how you handle any discomfort with the polyamory or handling spending time with your partner when you have to share

[sakps]

So, to anyone who’s read through our post history, we refer to ourselves as being five people. We actually have a metric ton of alters, most of which are disturbingly inhuman. The Five refers to the five of us who are actually capable of driving, who have lives out in the real world. But just as an introduction to some of the others:

- The Five of Us: Saint, Abel, Kaine, Psi, and Sabito

- Honeybee: a new alter, who may or may not be able to drive. Not sure yet.

- The Spooky Shit: picture Necromorphs from Dead Space. Lots of spooky shit that I’m referring to as alters because they live in the Upstairs and I’m not sure what else they could be. Most of them are representations of past trauma that Saint, our Host, had to go through. There are maybe 50 separate beings that qualify under the “Spooky Shit”

- The Dead Alters: there are several alters who aren’t around anymore. We refer to the process as Fragging, but basically sometimes alters can kinda just… fade themselves out of existence? It’s hard to explain properly, but if an alter frags themselves, they disappear and we don’t really ever see them again so ._.

In total, over the 6 months or so since we realized we had DID, there have been somewhere between 90 and 120 total “alters”. I put alters in quotes because I’m not sure what else to qualify the Spooky Shit as, though I don’t know if they count as whole alters. (This is a rough estimate because there could be many more that we don’t know about)

Thanks for reading and getting to know us :)

[sakps]

I dunno how it works for other systems, but for us, we can see each others’ memories if we go digging for them.

And it’s a really weird feeling because there are moments where I just go perusing through the System’s memories, and it makes me feel like a hive mind or something

Like I feel like I was connected to four other people and share memories, feelings, thoughts, experiences, all of it… but at the same time I don’t. It’s… offputting.

And it’s becoming a little bit of a struggle.

Does anyone have any advice? Thanks

-Saint

[sakps]

I absolutely fucking love it when I’m having a conversation with someone and I bring up the fact I’m part of a system, and the first thing they say is “prove it”. As if I’m a circus monkey who will switch personalities for their enjoyment, and if I won’t, they accuse me of faking it.

Absolutely love needing to prove your mental illnesses to people who have no reason to be involved with it 👍🏻

[sakps]

Being a female alter and getting kicked in the balls is a very interesting and not fun experience

[sakps]

So I have a serious question regarding how to handle certain things.

Context: we call facing/fronting/showing/being the alter currently in charge of the body “being in the Driver’s Seat”

The “host” of our body is Saint. As far as we know, he was the first personality to exist in our head, and he’s spent the longest time in the Driver’s Seat. He’s the boss, in a sense, since the rest of us are a relatively recent development and we kinda just invaded his life, to a degree.

Saint had been living for a long time before we interjected. And he had done some things that caused him a lot of pain and discomfort.

I don’t know how it works for other people, but we choose to visualize a common space that the five of us can talk in so we can communicate. A part of this common space are The Doors.

The Doors are two giant double doors that are heavily barricaded. They’re something Saint made as a visual representation of the shit he’s suppressed throughout the years. The rest of us can see the Doors, and we know what’s behind it, though none of us really choose to go in there. Sabito occasionally does, and he describes it as basically just watching traumatic events occur over and over again.

We think the common space and everything in it are a side effect of Saint compartmentalizing our mind to help him deal with all the shit he went through, so he made a safe space of sorts in his head. Later on, the rest of us just showed up.

Regardless, the whole point of this long ass post is that we don’t know what to do. The shit behind there hurts Saint, a lot, and we care about him. Not to delve into his trauma or anything, but he’s really had some terrible experiences and they weigh on him. He’s been worried since the rest of us showed up that the Doors would hurt us, or cause us problems, and they occasionally have.

This is our first time having DID, unsurprisingly, and we don’t really know how to handle it. If anyone else has had to deal with something similar, how did you help make it go away? How did you help take care of the alter? All advice is greatly appreciated.

Thank you,

Psi •v•