@diedunbound | come back to me or take me there with you
WHAT WAS ONCE the most important relationship in Will’s life ( and, he suspects, Elizabeth’s too ) has turned to dust before their very eyes as adulthood and the complications therein crept silently closer as the days and weeks went by. Governor Swann looked ever more knowing and unimpressed each time he came to call, clearly aware of his feelings towards his daughter even if he himself was hardly willing to acknowledge them. Elizabeth had her handmaids and her high society friends and Will could all but feel the judgement in their gazes, could imagine the gossip spread about the both of them ( and though he didn’t not care much about what was said of him by those who did not bother knowing him, the thought of Elizabeth’s reputation being tarnished was unbearable ).
AND SO HE SLIPPED OUT. Taking to the wings as quietly as he could, fading into the background of her life with abandoned hopes scattered around him. He had thought once, foolishly, that if he could not love her they could at least remain friends. He realizes now that even this is not an option.
BUT ELIZABETH REMAINS STUBBORN. The confrontation happens near sunset as he is seeing to closing down the forge for the night. He is diligent in his craft, making weapons with both speed and care, learning to use them as well. This is good, seeing as his mentor has now descended entirely into comatose alcoholism on most days. He is thankful for it as well when Elizabeth all but bursts in with founded anger and confrontation. It is not ladylike but then she never has been and he would not lover her if she was.
“ MS. SWANN ! ” He shouts as soon as he is able to speak for himself, taking her firmly by the shoulders in an attempt to make her pause for just a moment. When he continues his voice is softer, nearly exposing the sorrow beneath the surface, “ You must understand it was not my choice to abandon you. I had no other option. ” Here he releases her, putting a respectable amount of distance between them again. “ I value you as I do no other in this world, but the rules of our society would not allow for us to continue to be friends. You hold power and esteem and I hold nothing but soot and steel. Your father… Well I think he’d have me hung if I continued to make myself present in your life. ”
“ EVEN IF all of this were not true for our friendship it would certainly be true of anything more and as despicable as it may be that is what I have found myself wanting. I am not allowed to love you but the heart stubbornly persists despite the heads protests. So no matter how badly I may want to, Elizabeth, I cannot join you and I most certainly cannot bring you down to the likes of me. I hope that you can understand. ”
it isn’t fair. elizabeth isn’t blind. she sees many things -- she sees the classes that she is separated from, the way her father’s wealth has offered her a place so far above some it’s almost obscene. she knows she sits in a place most people would kill for ; she isn’t so naive as to be ignorant to those facts.
but in things like this -- will pulling further and further from her? it’s enough to make elizabeth wish she were poor and nameless. nothing, nothing in her life seems to matter to her so much as william, and she doesn’t care what that sounds like, how it makes her look. before he was ever her lover he was her friend, and that fact has never changed. and he knows it, too. that’s the worst thing ; he knows how much she loves him, knows that he holds her heart in his hand always, and still he does this.
there was no thought behind her pursuit. a day too long and and too lonely, and she hasn’t been touched past help with her dresses in so long that she aches for it. she aches for will’s work roughened hands, and the way he kisses like it’s all he knows how to do, and the way he looks at her like there’s no one else in the world. she is so lonely sometimes that she could shatter with it, and he is the only person alive who makes her feel seen.
perhaps she shouldn’t have gone in shouting, but it was all she could do. and he shouts her name but it isn’t the name he uses for her and were she a different woman she would burst into tears. as it is, his hands upon her shoulders almost shatter her instead, and yet she keeps her own hands firmly at her sides, curled into fists for fear that she might reach for him and never, ever let go.
❛ you hold nothing -- will you hold everything! ❜ he speaks and she knows there’s logic to his words but she doesn’t care, because here in the forge he’s worked since a child, her dress blackening even as they speak, elizabeth feels more at home than she has in weeks. ❛ how dare you. how dare you tell me you hold nothing. ❜ her finger jabs into his chest, and she supposes she means to make it hurt, but she couldn’t, not ever. not him.
a betrayal occurs within herself and a tear slides down her cheek as her hand flattens against his chest before her fingers curl into his shirt. ❛ well then i suppose you’ll be happy to know that my father intends for me to marry norrington. i’ve been told he’ll be receiving a promotion before long. what a fine commodore’s wife i’ll make. ❜ bitterness seeps into her tone, thick and unhappy, and elizabeth finally raises her gaze to hold will’s, tears present even still, despite her anger.
❛ this isn’t noble. i know you think it is, but it isn’t. this is just a different kind of death. ❜
