gruff and confused parent prompts.
y'all asked for gruff father prompts a long time ago. and i, a whole simp for this trope, sat down and watched str.anger th.ings, the mand/alorian, and i read a LOAD of fanfics in which grumpy people are unexpectedly thrust into the world of parenthood, so i hope these match your expectations!! ily all, have a wonderful day, and unclench your jaw!
to the child/grown child.
" oh jesus, what the hell are you doing? "
" no. hey, you listening? i said no. "
" believe it or not, kiddo, i'm doing this for your own good. "
" ah, hell... fine. we'll do it. just quit pouting. "
" what part of "stay put" didn't make sense to you? "
" look, kid, i... i know i'm not doing any of this right. my best just isn't enough. but do you think you could cut me a little slack? "
" what the hell made you think i'd let you do that? "
" i can't handle you after a bag of jelly beans, i sure as hell won't be testing the theory with espresso shots. "
" you know you're grounded, right? "
" look, if... if you're good, we'll stop and grab some ice cream on the way home. how does that sound? "
" we're not having chicken nuggets again, pick something that's at least a little bit healthy. "
" damn. i must be a terrible cook, i thought kids ate damn near everything... "
" hey, stop arguing, it's not gonna happen. "
" jesus, you have any idea how worried i was?! "
" green skittles don't count as your five a day. "
" ketchup's a vegetable, isn't it? "
" quit kicking me! hey! i get it! i'm not the parent of the year! but i'm all you got. so calm down, alright? "
" jeez, kid... i-i'm sorry. i didn't mean to yell. you just... i didn't know where you were. "
" you remind me of my son/daughter/kid. "
" hey, hey, hey... easy, now, it's alright... i got you. it was just a nightmare, son/sweetheart/kiddo. it's okay... "
about the child/grown child.
" shit... i have no idea how to look after them. "
" i'm just glad there's no diapers involved... "
" well. i'm not winning any parent of the year awards, let's put it that way. "
" i don't know how the hell to be a decent parent to this kid! "
" who are we kidding? this kid has the worst luck in the world to get stuck with me as a parent. "
" i'm definitely landing them with a long future in therapy, that's for sure. "
" i can barely look after myself, forget about an infant! "
" look. i might not be what this kid deserves. but i'll be damned if i'm not gonna stick by them until someone better comes along. "
" eh. i don't know. i like to think i'm doing a better job than my dad/mom/parent. "
" i've only known them a little while, and... and i honestly can't tell you what i'd do if anything happened to them. "