you know I'm seeing a lot of new year resolution posts about eating disorders that say something along the lines of "you know, eating disorders aren't worth it" DAMN RIGHT THEY'RE NOT WORTH IT
they're fucking terrible but I didn't exactly choose to have one
and I can't just decide to not have one like it doesn't work that way at all
I don't not eat so I can lose weight, at least not completely. I don't eat because I really feel that someone like myself doesn't deserve to eat and deserves to be unable to do their work in class because all I had was coffee that morning, and I didn't even go to lunch.
more power to those who have the determination to say "you know, I'm done with this shit, I'm going to get better" because I am just not one of those people
I don't stand a chance of getting better until I'm away from my mother breathing down my throat and my sister complaining about her weight and the people I go to school with that make me want to die (except eltor and a few choice others)
I always hear negative things about college, but I'm really starting to think that new people that i'm not related to will be a nice change for me.
btw I want to go to study food science
how ironic is that
I find it extremely interesting and was utterly disgusted when I tried using my mom's prescrambled diet eggs (lol) for my egg drop soup and they mixed in with the broth like omg the ingredients say "eggs" but you know there's some weird shit up in there
diet eggs pffttftf
but yeah
sorry for the rant i'll delete it later











