#digijournal

[deathbysonder]

finally finished my 2025 journal

It took be a little bit longer to finish my journal last year. Normally I aim to start and finish my journals according to the calendar, but toward the end of 2025 I lost a little bit of interest in writing. These are some of my favorite spreads from the year. I think I'll be doing less of these kinds of spreads in my 2026 journal. I've been putting my collected junk (or ephemera) in my planner instead so I think I'll be sticking to that.

I look forward to writing more in 2026!

[girlstressed]

i really liked my digital journal spread for today

[permanent-inkblush]

[girlstressed]

another digital journal spread i liked

[deathbysonder]

it is that deep and it has nothing to do with you

Kendrick Lamar's half-time performance is a moment in our collective cultural history that I doubt we'll soon forget. In just over 13 minutes, Lamar has ignited conversation across the internet, sparking heavy debate about his creative message and intentions. There are more qualified people than me who can break down every symbol and layer of meaning embedded in his performance but that's not what I want to focus on right now. I want to talk about a phrase I believe does an incredible disservice to art: "It's not that deep."

I've seen this phrase thrown around in response to Lamar's performance, but it's everywhere in discussions about art. We've all seen that joke about high school English teachers reading too much into the color of the [insert seemingly inconspicuous inanimate object]. Who cares? It's not that deep.

Art, in any form, is the result of intention. Conscious and subconscious creative decisions are made at every step. Even "random" or abstract works are born from an initial seed of intent. Stating something as "not that deep" dismisses the effort behind those choices but will not erase them. "It's not that deep" is a choice you make as the reader, audience, or observer. You are deciding that a piece of work is not worth engaging with on a deeper level. "It's not that deep" is not an opinion, it's a choice you make to opt out of the conversation. Choosing not to engage with art is not an inherently bad thing. You are not required to overanalyze every work of art you consume. However, it's important to acknowledge that your refusal does not negate the artist's intentions or the depth of the work itself.

Kendrick Lamar opened his performance with a line that has stuck with me since Sunday and I think captures well what I'm trying to say. He said, "You would not get the picture if I had to sit you for hours in front of the Louvre." "It's not that deep" is not an objective reflection of the art's lack of depth, but rather an observer's unwillingness to explore further.

You're not making a statement about the art. You are making a statement about yourself.

[deathbysonder]

tumblr, my old friend

It's been seemingly ages since I last winded down my evenings scrolling endlessly through Tumblr. In my teens, Tumblr was a haven, and now in my late twenties, I have found myself drawn back here. I'm not sure how much the platform has changed but I know I have changed so much over the past decade. Regardless, I find comfort in returning to a place of familiarity in a digital world that, especially recently, seems to be changing dramatically and constantly.

My goal this time around is a little different. As a teenager, I marveled at the creations of others, often dreaming of making my own someday. Despite having a perfectly fine camera and a burning creative spirit, I never allowed myself to share with others. Mostly out of embarrassment and shyness, but also because I didn't believe I could create something worthy of "notes", "shares", or "likes". Looking back on my teenage mindset, I wince. You don't notice it at the moment, however, the limiting perspective that art should only be shared online to garner digital applause has clouded the potential of so many. Art should be created and shared out of the desire to create and share, it should not be based upon its potential for binary accolades. Of course, as an adult, I understand that now. This is why, my mission this time is not to hoard inspiration but to channel it into something of my own. I don't want to be a passive observer of the arts, but rather an active and enthusiastic participant in it.

I'd like to believe I am more grounded now, with my frontal lobe developed and whatnot, to be less preoccupied or plagued with questions like "Who will even see this?" I am here for the process, not the recognition. Creating art and sharing it in this space feels right. I don't think I am alone when I say Instagram, TikTok (whose fate is still undecided), and other platforms do not offer the same artistic freedom I've only seen on Tumblr.

My Tumblr is a catchall for my ideas, creations, and more. If someone out there enjoys what I share, that’s a lovely bonus. If I can make friends, even better. But ultimately, this is a space for me: an unapologetically selfish act of self-expression.

[deathbysonder]

teaching myself color grading (1/possible multipart series?)

i have been casually messing around in the color tab on davinci resolve, trying to teach myself how to go about color grading my videos. so far, i felt like a child with a crayon set far larger than i knew what to do with. nothing looked quite right to me, always a little too much of something. tonight something clicked and i'm very proud of what i managed to put together here.

since i am using the free version of davinci resolve, i attempted a poor man's version of fake halation:

effects > adjustment clip > in color tab, bring down all color channels in curves except for red, bring red all the way up > set adjustment clip composite to screen > adjust opacity and add gaussian blur

this grade was heavily inspired by cinestill 800t.

[deathbysonder]

35mm film packaging from japan

i bought this film stock last year in japan but have yet to develop the roll. i had been debating for a long time whether i wanted to attempt development at home or if i should let this roll be handed by the professionals. the camera shop i had bought this film from warned me that although it is c41, they have had experience of traveller's film being damaged in the development process when they returned home. i have precious memories on this roll of japan, my birthday, and more. still, all this compounded with my inexperience with home development, i think i may dare to try.