RAT ☣︎
─── patient reader doesn't know who she is, where she is or how she got there. she's monitored by scientist matt who knows much more than he'll tell her. how dedicated can matt stay to his cause when he falls in love with her?
PREVIOUS // AU NAV // NAVIGATION // ALL AUS
CONTENT: patient reader wakes up abruptly and spirals out of control. how far will scientist matt go to keep her there?
WARNINGS: human experiment, hallucinations, panic attack, yelling, arguing, use of needles, memory issues.
CHAPTER THREE
WC: 1.3k
File 367
Patient code 004 version 67
a hand startled you awake. you pushed the shadowy figure away, scrambling around to push off the heels of your feet to reach the corner where your bed and the wall met. you braced yourself - forearms shielding your face and cradling yourself in the fetal position.
the silence was loud. no second contact or voices, just the sound of your own heartbeat.
you flattened your palms over your face, slowly turning to face the other side of the room blindly. you cautiously parted your fingers and peaked through the gaps. the same blank walls youd been left with the night before. nothing had moved or changed; unless you counted the sinking feeling in your stomach.
you attmepted to pull the covers tight around yourself. swallowing down the frog in your throat as you tried to maintain your calm despite the frustrating uncooperative behaviour of the material.
you pulled it out from under your limbs, beginning to rush your movements without being entirely sure why.
squeaks that barely had volume came from the cage in the corner of your room. behaving as if it had been rudely awoken too. your rat's eyes focused on you - burning through you as if warning you.
the abrupt sounds froze you in fear.
it repeated again, two knocks on your wooden door.
do you open it? do you hide? do you-
he pushed it open and stared blankly at you.
“you okay?”
matt was carrying a tray of various breakfast foods, stood awkwardly letting the door shut itself. he placed everything down on the floor by your bed, movements slow as if you were a spooked animal.
his confusion turned to concern. your unresponsive wide blinking eyes held his as he sat beside you.
your chest rose with your deepening breaths, desperate to ask questions but an inability to do so. matt didnt push, eyes gentle and patient.
you parted your lips to speak but its as if you had swallowed them, forcing only a choked sob out. pressing your lips together and gripping matts shirt sleeve, you tried to regain control.
your blood ran hot. it felt like infection running through your veins, acid melting you down and killing you in a split moment.
he placed his palm gently against your cheek, the same hand you were gripping the wrist of.
you punched at your own chest.
nothings working. fix it. please fix it. fix it.
matt grabbed that hand, protecting you from yourself.
his mouth moved but you couldnt hear him. you choked on your own breaths.
matts chest rose in exaggerated movements, eyes focused solely on you as he tried to encourage you.
he shifted your hand onto his chest. very subtle but nonetheless there, you felt his heartbeat. you subconsciously mimicked his breathing.
“you're okay,” you finally heard him. and it broke you.
tears streamed down your face as you mumbled your way through an explanation.
“someone was here” you cried out. “he grabbed me- he grabbed me-”
matt cradled your face in his palm, catching your tears with his thumb.
“No one was here, i promise.”
“I felt it.”
He tilted your head to look at him. “You’re safe. No one was here, okay? Its just me. Its just me.”
“I didnt see him but i- i felt it- i dont wanna feel it-”
He pulled you close to him to cradle you, to held onto him tightly. Matt was a little shaky, a hint of guilt in his grasp.
“I thought we had time- i thought it was working.” he whispered out.
Your body froze. Now feeling entirely claustrophobic as oppose to protected.
You pushed at his chest - just enough to separate yourself.
“Its your fault.”
Matts eyes widened in fear, occasionally darting to view the door. He hadnt locked it.
“Im helping you. Im protecting you.”
Everything moved fast. Your grip on the tray of food and losing it happened in a second.
“Its not working!” you yelled out as everything dropped to the floor. Food and drink mixing as it ran down the surface, fitting into all the creases.
Your hands locked in the shape of claws. As if you were holding something, or about to scratch or fight.
“It will, it will-” he tried to reassure you.
You stared shell shocked at the mess you made, watching the way it travelled closer and closer to the door; leaving the room. It could leave the room. Could you?
You didnt realise you were following it until you felt him grab the back of your neck.
A sharp prick before you fell to your knees, into his arms, his control.
“What did you do-”
“I had to.”
“No.” you slurred your words, vision sparkling as matt tried to calm you, gently holding your face.
“Its too early, i didnt want to.”
“What.. what a-are you,” you sobbed once again. “Whats happening to me?” tears followed their routinely path. Matt stuck to his self proclaimed role of catching them.
“Im gonna get rid of the shadows, okay?”
You could only shake your head. He was a liar. He had to be.
“I promise.”
“W-why?” opening your eyes was too painful, beginning to feel them swell in your skull.
“They said it wouldnt work. I-i knew it would. They said to leave you a-and i couldnt.” matt began swallowing down his own sobs. A man melting from guilt as you layed feeling like you were dying because of him.
You tried to mouth the movements a few times before sound escaped you. “F-fix it. Fix m-me.”
***
File 370
Patient code 005 version 01
“Can you state your name?”
The lights were too bright, burning an imprint in eyelids. You stared at the tiles. You couldnt really think of what else to do.
You heard buzzing. Maybe that was the light too. maybe it was the machine.
“Do you know your name?”
You looked at the table. It looked rusted, the metal bars you were usually cuffed to were gone. So was the machine.
You finally met his eyes. You mustve looked dead, body tilted in the chair as if you were fully willing to fall from it. matt hadnt shaved, eyes red from exhaustion and fear. He was still scared.
“‘m not supposed to, arent i?”
Empty. You felt empty, and drained. Matts expectant eyes didnt fill you with betrayal anymore. You didnt care. You just wanted it all to end.
“What? You want a fucking score?” you spit out. He barely gave you a reaction when you wanted one. "no cuffs this time either?”
the muscles in his face twitched, clearly trying to hide any hint of emotion but doing the exact opposite. he didnt answer.
you shifted around to rest your head in the crook of your elbow against the table, peering up at matt.
You felt desperate to talk his ear off rather than spend time in that dark room youd be left with. he'd tried to remain stoic, following the idea of repetition to avoid spoiling the process. it was hard to maintain that idea when youd stopped staring directly through him.
“what file is this then?”
Matt hadn't done his usual robotic talking to the machine; ‘code blah blah blah’. he gave you full control of the conversation - which was frustratingly boring.
“file 370.”
you hummed in response. again, boring.
“can i.. see your notes?”
surprising, he pushed them over to you instantly. plain. you searched across the files and the pages of his notebook but there was purely nothing. he'd taken precautions this time.
you met his eyes once again. practically shaking in his seat, eyes darting across various places in the room and table to avoid yours. had he always been this emotive?
“what is your problem?”
he refused to respond.
“what's going on?”
he took a deep breath, leaning forward in his chair causing you to jolt back in vague defense.
“how much do you remember?”
“I remember you fucking stabbed me with a needle and i-”
“youre not supposed..” his voice faded out seeing your expression shift again.
“what?” you pushed him to continue.
“youre not supposed to remember anything.”
a/n evil laugh 😼
