Older and Mature Cougars looking for their young cub. Search for thousands of Cougars Today FREE.
WARNING: DO NOT OPEN ANY OF THE LINKS IN THESE EMAILS! This is SPAM, people!
From: Hot Local Cougars Dating [email protected]
Original Email:
HOT LOCAL COUGARS
These Hot Cougars are looking for men that are younger and have the energy to keep up with there sexual desires.
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My response:
Dear Hot Local Cougars Dating,
Thank you for your email dated 12/7/15 at 1:03 a.m. I apologize for not responding to you immediately, but I was asleep and dreaming about a world where I was not being hunted by deranged wild cats looking for their lost offspring.
Oh, I see what you’re doing. You’re using the word “cougar” to denote an older woman looking for sexual experiences. Sorry about that, I got your email confused with one that was actually about real life cougars on the prowl. Boy, were they weirded out when I sent them those explicit photos. How was I supposed to know they were just doing a charity drive for the national zoo! Now I have to stay more than 300 yards from the wildcat exhibit! That’s near the dippin dots stand, dammit!
Anyways, as I currently have my weird fetishist desires fulfilled by the kind people who make chocolate covered pretzels, I’m all good for the moment.
Also, I noticed on google maps that your office is located next to a fish market. I would be pretty cautious about letting those cougars out of your sight around fish.
Oh right, you’re talking about old pervos again. My bad.
-Fox