𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙛𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙫𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙯𝙚𝙙. now that you are so close to losing your best friend, the person that has... seen you as a person. penelope knows all of you, not just the good part of yourself, but the worst parts of yourself. the ones hidden from everyone that is not her. it is fitting to be in love with a woman. to have something that you cannot have. colin is in love with her, and there is a part of you that is happy for your friend that she will not live out her life on a shelf, but this means the death of all of your dreams. the dreams of living in the country with her. together with her, figuring out your own lives. without being miss bridgerton and miss featherington. it feels as if you’re drowning. losing yourself to the waves that come through you. you can feel yourself moving. going to the only brother that you can trust with this secret. colin would... tell someone, and you would have ended up in the same place. lost. benedict is the best choice. he will keep all of your secrets. no matter how serious they are. this is the reason you go to my cotage. why you end up in his doorstep, nearly in tears. it takes you little to find his office after coming in. and you cannot help but spill all of your guts before he can even breathe. ❝ i am in love with penelope and colin is going to marry and then i’ll be alone for the rest of my life, ❞ it takes you another breath, before you can feel yourself sigh shakily, the clear tell that you were going to cry soon.