Lessons from the Disabled List
Turning 31 has not been kind to my body. In the past two weeks, I've strained (then re-strained) a calf muscle while running and sprained both wrists while playing volleyball.
I've always known that fitness is a gift that can easily be taken away. One day, I'm closing in on a personal best pace. The next day, I can barely walk to the filing cabinet. It's humbling, especially when I know the effort it took to get to a certain level of athleticism. The time off means a set-back in performance. And on the wrong side of 30, I wonder if I'll ever get to where I was again. Or if it's even worth it.
I've been thinking a lot about why it matters to me to be able to perform at a certain level. After all, running isn't my livelihood. I don't even compete in races. I'm realizing that it mostly boils down to vanity and pride.
When I started studying the book of Daniel with my small group, I hadn't expected to relate to arrogant, self-centered King Nebuchadnezzar. He seemed to have good reason to think so highly of himself. Some historians believe he was one of the most competent rulers the world has ever known. He built and prospered the Babylonian empire to its zenith. God himself set up Nebuchadnezzar and gave him "dominion and power and might and glory." (Daniel 2:37)
Chapter three of Daniel opens with Nebuchadnezzar commissioning a 90-foot statue of himself. What hubris! What vanity! But I, too, am building an image. I like being considered a beast in the gym. I like maintaining a certain figure through exercise. But am I finding my identity in those things?
Scripture is clear that health and fitness are worthwhile endeavors. Paul used athletic imagery to describe what the life of a believer should look like (2 Tim. 4:7). But Paul's pursuit wasn't after a world record, a gold medal, or glorious six-pack abs. Mine shouldn't be either. My identity is not based on how many miles I can run, it is in the God who has given me legs to run. I love how Beth Moore put it in session 3 of the Daniel DVD: "Don't be an image builder. Be an image bearer!"
The fall of Nebuchadnezzar is detailed in chapter four of Daniel. The king has a prophetic dream which he asks Daniel to interpret. In the dream, a magnificent tree (representing prideful Nebuchadnezzar himself) is cut down to a stump which is then bound by a band of iron and bronze. The stump is significant because it speaks to how God's discipline will extend so far, but no further. The prideful will be humbled, and the path to humility will hurt. But God will never allow us to be utterly destroyed. He will provide and protect a foundation upon which we can rebuild.
So here I am. Sidelined by my injuries. Humbled. How will I chose to respond?
Nebuchadnezzar at last acknowledged that all he had was a result of God's good providence. And that is the posture I must take. He has equipped me with a body that is often strong and healthy. But even when it isn't, I am still His.
He once gave me speed. Now He gives me rest. And we shall someday see what He chooses to rebuild on this iron and bronze-bound stump.
