Jun 6, 2025
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Snake oil and washing records.
After my listen to that album that sounded like a fireplace was going in the background I figured I should get a better system to clean my LPs.
I have used the "discwasher" thing for many years and usually find that it is fine for most things. Most of my records are fine, but some need a deeper clean.
SOooo. I go online. I found a simple trough thing that seems at least adequate. I considered the ultrasonic bath types for a while. The cheapest were not cheap, but I may have been able to use it for other things. There is so much bullshit.
I found one thread that looped in Micheal Fremer a recognized golden ear and expert on all things LP. (Just ask him).
It was actually disturbing. There was a video of a machine sold by a Charles Kirmuss and this man's spiel. Just like a carnival barker he was saying all kinds of things. M Fremer was videoing it all and just recording uncritically. It tells me that the estimable Mr. Fremer has no technical chops at all. He did not call out any of the obvious lies.
For one thing Mr. Kirmuss was claiming that LPs are made with sugar. (no not true in any chemical sense) He claims his system will remove all sorts of stuff from a record including soap? His machine is used with water and a mystery chemical mostly comprised of Alcohol as a surfactant. (Which it aint, but it will make bubbles in agitated water smaller). The main thing after 5 minutes in an ultrasonic bath is he cleans the surface with a fine goat hair brush and a fluid containing propylene glycol. There is a lot of elbow grease involved.
I have no hard dispute with that bit. But he claimed that his ultrasonic machine used quote; " Plasma Waves" to clean the LP and not microscopic bubbles. The whole spiel was recorded and the guy could not stop Bullshitting. Plasma is the fourth state of matter after solid liquid and gaseous. Plasma involves very high temperatures so atoms are torn apart. So no that was full on bullshit unless his little Chinese made machine has a cyclotron or tokamak in it.
As a demo there was a lot of immersion in the same (dirty?) fluid 5 or 6 times followed by hand scrubbing each round. If the hand scrubbing is so important it would appear that was what did the actual cleaning and the ultrasonic bath was to rinse off the residue. It would further appear that the propylene glycol was the main thing working here. It binds to many things, it is not soap, it is mostly non-toxic.
It is telling to me that the "system" used a lot of elbow grease and the $900 USD machine (so cheap) was not that obviously helpful. The explanations provided by the developer were bullshit. But it seemed to be very effective in cleaning LPs. Mr Fremer endorses it based on what he hears. So he bought the snake oil?
Of course Mr Fremer also endorses some really expensive audio cables. Interesting story there. James Randi the magician and professional debunker got involved is a proposed double blind test of a particular brand that got involved in some trash talk. Mr Fremer was involved and anxious to try it. It almost happened but then the cable manufacturer pulled out. Randi had offered $1,000,000.00 bucks if a significant difference could be found and the candidate cable detected compared to a simple non-exotic one.
In earlier posts I posited that if specific electronics are sensitive to specific impedance issues things will happen. It is more the electronics than the wire. Usually an oscillation from an inadvertent RLC network. All speakers and wires involve capacitance and inductance. Things can happen. "Super" cables may have components added and certainly have an internal inductance and capacitance even without added "things." A truly fair test would be blind and use different electronics. If you are testing the wire you have to minimize any contribution of the amps idiosyncrasies.
Well the test was cancelled. The wire guy did not want to risk being debunked. Recall the Carver bet. Carver won in a blind comparison between his cheap amp (tweaked) and an exotic one. Blind tests detect snake oil.
Anyway not wanting to spend over 1 kilobuck all in I spent about 1/10 of that on the trough cleaner thing. I just have to line up a dozen or so old records to clean. Don't want to make a mess setting up for one or two.
Phono
USA 1984
USA 1984
