(domestic fluff / comedy / petty revenge)
│ he thought karma was punishing him for being a bad boyfriend — turns out, it was just you with a ruler and too much patience.
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you don’t usually get this mad at him.
he’s forgetful, lazy about dates, sometimes too glued to his phone — you know this, you love him anyway — but tonight? this is new.
you’d spent weeks planning your date night. reservations, outfit, even your favorite perfume. you’d sent him a reminder that morning. and yet, when you walked into the living room, dressed up and smiling, there he was — hoodie half-on, headset around his neck, controller in hand.
“hey, babe,” he said, eyes still on the screen. “you look nice. going somewhere?”
you stared at him. “our date, rin.”
his head tilted. “...that was tonight?”
you could hear your heartbeat.
“shit,” he said quickly, setting the controller down. “my bad, babe. i’ll make it up to you, promise. just lemme finish this round—”
that’s when you turned around and walked to the bathroom.
he called after you once. twice. by the third, you’d shut the door and turned the water on, standing under the spray, seething.
you weren’t going to yell. that’d be too easy for him. you were going to plot.
later, you’re standing in the kitchen, still fuming, when you notice it.
suna’s moving around the apartment, eyes glued to his phone, navigating by memory. he doesn’t even look up as he sidesteps the coffee table, opens the fridge, grabs a drink, all muscle memory.
and that’s when the idea hits you.
the perfect, quiet revenge.
that night, after he falls asleep — sprawled across the bed, phone still in hand — you get up.
you start with the couch. one inch to the right.
then the coffee table.
the counter stools.
his nightstand.
the rug.
even the damn trash can.
you work in silence, a one-woman heist fueled by righteous, petty fury.
when you finally crawl back into bed, you smile to yourself, satisfied.
the next morning, it begins.
you’re sipping your coffee when he stubs his toe on the couch.
“ow—what the—?”
you hum, not looking up. “something wrong?”
he winces, hopping slightly. “think i misjudged the corner.”
“hm. maybe you’re tired.”
“yeah, probably.”
then he bumps his hip into the counter.
then clips his elbow on the wall.
then knocks his shin on the coffee table again.
you hide your smile behind your mug.
“you good, rin?”
“yeah,” he grumbles, glaring suspiciously at the furniture. “this place feels… smaller.”
“maybe you grew overnight.”
he narrows his eyes at you. “funny.”
by the time he gets home that afternoon, he looks like he’s been in a bar fight with his own apartment.
“i think this place is cursed,” he mutters, rubbing his knee.
“what makes you say that?”
“i keep running into shit.”
“maybe karma’s trying to tell you something.”
he blinks. “karma?”
you nod solemnly. “you did anything lately that deserves punishment?”
he pauses, thinking. “...not that i can think of.”
you shrug. “well, if you remember, you should probably apologize.”
he stares at you, baffled, before mumbling, “...yeah. maybe.”
the next day, you get a text from komori.
komori: did rin hit his head or smth??
komori: he just apologized for like... existing??
komori: said he was “making amends”??
you smirk.
later that night, suna comes home with a weary sigh, like the world’s been personally out to get him.
he sets his bag down and walks over. “hey, babe.”
“hi.”
“i’m sorry.”
you glance up from your laptop. “for what?”
he shrugs helplessly. “...just in case. i don’t know. i’ve been saying sorry all day. feels like it’s helping?”
you hum noncommittally. “sure.”
he squints. “you don’t sound convinced.”
“you don’t sound sincere.”
he groans. “you’re impossible.”
“and yet,” you say sweetly, “you still haven’t died of bad luck. maybe keep apologizing.”
he mutters something under his breath and slinks off toward the shower.
you don’t move the furniture back.
the next evening, you come home from work to find him on his knees in the living room, hands clasped like he’s praying to a higher power.
“okay,” he says when he spots you. “i give up. i’m sorry.”
you blink, amused. “for?”
“for missing our date,” he admits, voice small. “i was an idiot. you planned it, and i blew it off, and i feel like the universe heard me being an ass and decided to make me suffer. and it worked. i’m suffering.”
you cross your arms. “you think this is karma?”
he nods earnestly. “i tripped twice on the way home. i think karma’s done playing around.”
you bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing. “and you’re sure it’s not just… your fault?”
“no,” he says quickly. “this is definitely supernatural.”
you tilt your head. “hm. well, i guess we can’t risk it. how about dinner? make-up date?”
his face softens, the relief almost visible. “yeah? really?”
“really.”
he grins, boyish and hopeful. “you’re the best.”
you smile back, almost feeling bad. almost.
that night, while he’s asleep again — sprawled across the bed in his usual mess of limbs — you move everything back.
the couch. the counters. the rug. the nightstand.
perfect symmetry restored.
the next morning, suna moves through the apartment slowly, suspiciously.
he tosses his keys into the bowl. perfect landing.
walks around the couch. no stubbed toe.
grabs a drink. no collision.
he freezes mid-step.
“...it’s over,” he whispers.
you glance up from your coffee. “what is?”
“the curse.” he turns, eyes wide. “karma forgave me.”
you blink, pretending confusion. “karma?”
“yeah. i think the spirits realigned or something.”
you smile into your mug. “guess your apology worked.”
“yeah,” he says, nodding solemnly. “guess it did.”
he leans down, kisses your cheek, still half-convinced he survived divine punishment.
“you’re lucky, you know,” you murmur.
“i know,” he says. “won’t test it again.”
you just smile, watching him walk off — straight past the perfectly placed furniture.
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i did this once to my dad after he pissed me off, but he figured it out within like two hours
Plus, all the Halloween costumes mocking Fabio that year where all you had to do was tape a stuffed swan toy to your nose and put on a blonde wig and bam, Fabio. It was the style of the time.
I was suddenly reminded that my favorite pokemon god oc existed soooo
why does this fuckass mew have soooo many names!!!! anyway this is hera theyre awesome i adore them. ignore the outdated design theyre getting a bit of a revamp soon
heres a few more shitposts featuring them
oh and eternity's here too i guess idk all my homies hate eternity
