#divinitytouched

[demonstained-a-blog]

"Letting someone see you that vulnerable, it's a scary thing."

deep ass starters

         he chews on his lip and focuses on his burning cigarette. emotions aren’t something he likes to admit to having, he hates showing them even more.  if it’s not because of the weakness he thinks it holds, it’s definitely because of the tie to his abilities. he’s trying his best to open up to her more because she’s someone he wants to open up to. every time he starts to, his mother’s words echo through his mind— ❝ vulnerability gets you killed, mal. ❞ 

         he’s tired. he’s tired of keeping secrets from her and taking on the world by himself. he wants to scream and cry and let out his anger for once. ❝ i wanna tell you everything. i do. ❞ more than anything he wants her to be the one that shatters his walls. he’s already feeling more with her than he ever has in his life. ❝ i just—i don’t know how to be vulnerable. everything’s fucked and—i can’t afford to be weak because of it. ❞

[demonstained-a-blog]

                                In a fight, they’re lethal.                           Around each other, they melt.

[demonstained-a-blog]

@angelichunt

      ❝ you don’t regret it, right? ❞ he’s thought it all over in his head, replayed the moment he decided to suck it up and ask her out. he doesn’t regret it for even a moment ( who knew he could ever be happy? ), but he does feel guilty. realistically, he knows she loves him and this is all his anxiety getting the best of him, but there’s still a part of him that believes he somehow tricked her. that if she had known what he was, the kind of person he really was, and the shit he’s been through ( not that he’s told her any of that yet ), she’d want to run for the hills and never look back. it’s a lot to take in and process. 

       a pause as he chews his lip for a moment. ❝ like----and be honest, i didn’t trick you, right? with this relationship? ❞ what kind of answer he’s expecting, he’s not quite sure. either she’ll help dull his anxiety or he’ll get the answer he’s scared of, but either way, he knows he can’t keep this one bottled up. not if he wants to keep a healthy, stable relationship with her.

[demonstained-a-blog]

“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.”

comfort 

     the words go against everything he’s been told his life. abomination, devil child, mistake—-everything he could be told, he was. words of comfort aren’t something he’s used to. he chews on his lip, eyes falling towards the ground. he’s scared, it’s been a secret for so long, but he figures it has to come out sometime. if he’s going to trust anyone with his past, it’s going to be malia. ❝ i..that’s never been said to me before. ❞ 

    he appreciates it. it does make him feel less of a sin cursing the earth with his existence. ❝ my mom hated me. like—really hated me. threatened to kill me each time i showed the slightest hint of disobedience. ❞ his voice is shaking, it’s not a topic he talks about much. most of it, he tries to keep repressed. ❝ i was literally only a weapon to her. she wouldn’t let me talk to people, she’d pull me out of bed by my hair if i was having one of my bad days, she blamed me if hunts went wrong, i drank a lot when i was younger, like bordering on alcoholism at fuckin’ sixteen, but my mom just found it as an excuse to threaten my life again. she really liked doing that, i think. gave her a sense of control over her mistake.  ❞

      it’s only taken him twenty nine years to admit it, but he’s finally coming to the realization, it wasn’t his fault.  he didn’t make her sleep with a demon. ❝ i guess what i’m getting at is, i guess it’s just—it’s nice to hear? ‘cause all my life i got told i was the worst possible thing to happen and–and that the only thing i was useful for was killing, ❞ a fact he still does firmly believe in, ❝ i don’t get what you see in me, and i probably never will, but i don’t have to. i really love you, mal. you make me feel better. so thanks for—everything you do for me, really and thanks for seeing more to me than just some weapon of destruction. ❞

[demonstained-a-blog]

“you are very endearing when you’re half asleep.”

some meme i don’t wanna look for i don’t wanna look for 

      there’s a moment of silence and all he can do is look up with sleepy eyes. today’s starting to feel like a day to spend the entire time laying in bed. surprisingly, it’s not like his usual low moods. this time he doesn’t feel like something’s swallowing his soul whole, he doesn’t feel guilty, or like crying—he just really loves malia’s bed. it’s a whole hell of a lot better than his car seats. 

       a smirk before he grabs her and pulls her down with him. throwing the blanket over her and wrapping his arms around her. ❝ mm, i know. now it’s sleep time. ❞ a glance towards the clock and nose scrunches in distaste. one pm. ❝ okay so nap time is more appropriate. ❞

[demonstained-a-blog]

“i just want you to know that i’ll never stop loving you.”

some meme i don’t wanna look for i don’t wanna look for 

    he’s scared. a twisted feeling in his gut every time he thinks about her leaving. there’s a lot she still doesn’t know, that he hasn’t gathered the courage to tell her. he’s concerned once it comes out, that he may be seen as too damaged for her tastes. even after telling her about his demon half, which is undoubtedly his biggest secret, he’s still too terrified of her finding out about his past. maybe that’s why he hasn’t told her about finding his twin yet—or that he even has a twin to find. 

     the words send a wave of comfort through him, though. he may not have the courage to reveal everything just yet, but for now, at least, he can revel in what they have. he can revel in their love and how, for the first time ever, he feels like he has a shot at being happy. fingers reach up, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear before tracing down her jawline. he still can’t believe it’s possible to be so utterly entranced with someone. ❝ i’ll never stop loving you either. ❞