okay inso darling, I will be back with a more thought out response later because I need to ponder some things but my initial thoughts:
I loved the reference to Minho’s statue nickname it actually made me giggle a bit despite the tense nature of this chapter.
Omg Felix, he’s saying so much for someone that according purely to memory had like one line.
Sweet Minho POV at the end. I love when we get to see his gooey center.
Hyunjin trying desperately to help but his method being to essentially throw himself at it until he succeeds (sounds like how he learned dance and his other talents) but still prioritizing the pack and stepping away with Felix….
Chan reaching to take the bag and unbuckle her shoes like nothing had changed but so much has changed!!! Tentatively upon her reflection and saying like “I said that didn’t seem like you” (I’m paraphrasing cuz this is all from memory) makes me want to go back and re-read the chapter she meets with the manager even though, for me, that has been the most painful chapter up until this moment. But based on your previous level of writing I wouldn’t put it past you to have made her PTSD manifest in slight narrative differences…. I think very highly of you as a writer ily.
And awwwww her wanting the nest and then curling up. 🥹 my heart really aches for our sweetie MC.
And those are my initial reactions. I’m inviting myself back later to discuss my thoughts on each of the boys’ reactions but I want time to pull quotes. See you later! 💗
(Tumblr REALLY does not like my indents today so I can't format this like I normally might! I just put a note where my reply starts 🙆)
divinyard asked:
Okay I'm sending two asks because they got long (sorry) (i think next time i'll just be inviting myself to your DMs lmao)
1/2: base thoughts and passages. 2/2 character-specific.
Okay as promised I am back with more thought out commentary. Warning, improper grammar ahead.
Firstly, something I have personally failed to laud you with in the past and I haven’t really seen too many places except when you reference it yourself. 10/10 CHAPTER TITLE. I am personally quite the Greek myths nut, but even beyond that, Hadestown is probably my favorite musical so this one caught my eye. I love the concept of the boys as Orpheus because they’ve truly turned back around for a last glimpse of her. Could this be read further into as the contract being the path out of Hades (relationship secrecy) but by turning back (trying to confront why she’s ghosted them) she’s now banished back to the underworld (the start of trying to figure this out again). This is all loose of course, but I was really loving toying around with this as a concept.
Specific passages:
[ “The scent of your blood joins the already hectic swirl of scents, and Hyunjin staggers towards you, knees bent and back hunched as though to make himself smaller. “Don’t,” he says when you step back again, bumping into your nightstand, “Wait, no— I’m sorry, don’t, please don’t. I’m sorry.” His hands come up in front of him as though for your inspection as he slides into kneeling in front of you. “Bunny, I’m so sorry; I’m so sorry. Just— You can’t— Can I have your hands?”
For a long moment, you just stare at him, uncomprehending; Hyunjin stares back, wide-eyed and desperate, laid low. His hair is growing out, you think faintly: early-aughts rockstar length, especially with the dark color and his accompanying under-eye shadows. On his knees with his hands extended, he’s the picture of supplication — and you want to believe him so badly. You want to. You almost do.” ]
The word supplication specifically here was just wah, chef’s kiss, truly. The chaos. This is such a perfect illustration of their back and forth. He’s desperate for her, she’s desperate to be elsewhere but still yearning for him. His submission is giving her the sense of control she yearns for, but she’s had that illusion shattered too recently to truly trust.
[ “And deep down, you get it. Your relationship is — something, and you’re hurt, and he’s an alpha: haunted by the need to protect and fix and hover, unable to let things lie.
But you don’t care, because it’s your body, and you already said no.” ]
I just loved this part because I thought it was such a class alpha/omega role embodiment.
Not really a passage, but the house smelling stale did get an “awwww” from me just because, like her, it’s making me picture that then went immediately to find her.
[ “But details about, ah — intimacy, or your physical location, anything too personal or potentially unsafe—”
Felix’s growl rips through the air, cutting off Changbin’s words. Chan’s resulting growl is lower, scarier, and somehow reassuring: a warning.
“Felix,” he says, “you need to calm down.”
Hyunjin rises from your feet, crossing the room quickly to Felix. They exchange a few low words you can’t hear, and then Hyunjin is leading Felix out of the room, his hand on his lower back. He glances over his shoulder at you, giving you one last lingering look before disappearing from view; Felix, though, keeps his eyes fixed forward, breathing tight and controlled.”]
I’m really a sucker for when people feel protective in fiction so this whole chapter is pretty much my bread and butter, BUT THIS PART. The growl at the mention of a safety issue, then Chan fully going pack alpha mode a warning him to calm down. I was really eating this up. I also loved the tension of Hyunjin comforting Felix here and Felix being like such a taut wire that he can do nothing but keep his eyes forward and focus on breathing.
Ending with “But he is going to keep you.” this is the peace my heart yearns for.
Ah, Inso I really loved this chapter. Lately we’ve been in the MC’s frame of mind so it wasn’t until Jeongin growled (and this wrapped his arms around himself, that instance) that I remembered that to them, she is their soulmate. And to her, they are people she was kind of dating. I really did almost forget they were soulmates. Honestly, that’s a testament to your writing because I’m sure that’s how vividly she does not see that they are soulmates. Just people with what she wanted to be a genuine connection that has been seemingly betrayed. In short: I love.
divinyard asked:
2/2 of the earlier for character-specific thoughts.
CHAN: “visibly devastated” AGH this man is going through it. I’m sure they all are but you can see that he keeps the world on his shoulders and arguable to worlds of his pack as well. This not working out or potentially not working out with their soulmate has totally been internalized as his fault. He spends the chapter devastated (literally that word gets used for him so much throughout this chapter. I liked that part where he tries to take the bag off MC’s shoulder, hesitantly approaching MC and removing her shoes as they used to - until she flashes back to that bastard and the contract. He’s still forcing the responsibility on his shoulder as he guides the conversation about the contract. The word FALTERING got used for him and if I had to pick one to summarize his reaction it would be that one. He’s trying to smooth things out, but it’s not smooth, it’s faltering. Agh, what a poor time to mention a different contract, but I think Chan operates under the sentiment of things can be fixed by over-explaining.
MINHO: I adore Minho’s characterization in this whole chapter. He seems to be keeping himself primarily in control or at least the appearance of such. He’s def acting as a protective barrier between her and some of his other more volatile (said with affection) pack members. I took the note: “Voice low and unreadable”, calm voice but conflicting scent, voice of reason about how Chan would certainly be interested. There’s a lot of pack fics out there where he’s the luna or lore equivalent and I think it’s just ways of putting into words how grounding Minho can be even when other people are becoming high-strung around him. My fav part with him came at the end with watching MC drift to sleep “close to his heart”, “but he is going to keep you”. EEP.
CHANGBIN: Changbin pillar of SKZ iktr. He really spends this chapter comforting MC even if we see signs of restraint on his own emotions - Smiling but with crossed arms and a tight jaw. He clearly gets agitated but he’s still the one who actually explains Uhyeok’s role in the company, delicately telling MC “we’re going to fire him” PLS I LOVE CHANGBIN, omg changbin being the one to use the disrespectful address is killing me I feel like he (irl) is the one being consciously very respectful so this made me giggle.
HYUNJIN: My notes on him were as follows: staggering towards her but hunched to make himself smaller, kneeling, pleading, begging. “Wide-eyed and hopeful” at MC coming back to their place, hurt hurt and more hurt, The pinky promise I am crying. // I don’t really have much to add here because his reaction throughout this chapter kind of cracked my chest open and scooped me out. He was featured in like two of my favorite parts of the chapter.
HAN: “stumbling” “eyes a little too wide”. Purposefully soft, trying to keep convo with MC tangible, making intentional effort to project warmth, then gets lashed out at by MC, gentle smiles, whimper at the voice break, hesitantly joking AH I love my little mood-maker. Like all of us, MC is disarmed by Jisung’s cuteness and vulnerability. Until she gets embarrassed but that is so # real. I really loved how he was clearly trying so hard in his own way to keep her grounded in the moment. We know our girl drifts. Varying success because he’s also clearly managing his own emotion but I thought his effort was very sweet.
FELIX: “clutches his heart, staggering back as though struck” “Do you really think we would agree to something like this?” - voice even deeper than usual. Unusually, not looking at MC, immediately turning radio off, standing far away with dark eyes and an eerily blank expression, After name reveal of manager - “Felix shoots ramrod straight, baring his teeth, a growl in his voice”, pacing, growl rips through the air at the mention from Changbin of a safety concern, still won’t look at MC. I’m actually speechless. I think I can just picture this reaction so vividly I had to be like no no this is RON!Lix not real Lix because could very easily see this reaction. Poor guy. I think we have more chapters to come before he properly gets soothed.
SEUNGMIN: “agitated” discloses the stamps “edge to his voice” “hand drops back limply to his side”. Won’t look at MC on the couch, eyes uncharacteristically unstable but finally tells MC the real role of that manager, whimper at the voice break, he has simmered down and is now being the voice of reason on why that jerk deserves to be fired, “friends” muttered under his breath, immediately ordering food ‘for the group’ to not scare our already skittish MC off but desiring to feed her…, clearly also holding himself back enough MC notes the difference between his usually pushiness. Bro this is the most volatile I have seen seungmin I swear (…hm an excuse to go back and read him going into rut chapter…? We both know that’s one of my favorites.) I just know happy house is the house of stewing rn lol. Also I’ve been in such a seungmin phase lately that he was incredibly hot to me this chapter.
JEONGIN: yanks Han back, “growls” “voice low, expression pinched”. A quiet “noona”, looking a little too hard at MC on the couch, growl at the notion of MC struggling but cutting himself off and self-comforting by wrapping his arms around himself, sweet tone with a vengeful gleam, settling on the floor near-ish to MC. JEONGIN who wants to be close but knows he shouldn’t so he’s holding himself back a fair distance. I need to go and look back at their dancing chapter because I adore seeing them two together and their trust - I mean he was one of the two to know where her apartment was OO I SHOULD READ THE RUT CHAPTER INSTEAD SO I DON’T SEE THE MANAGER.
Sweetie MC: “chest empty” panicking inner monologue “pulse shaking” hoping creeping up, but resistant so she doesn’t have to suffer the hurt again, her inner dialogue during the phone call with Soohyun was also a favorite of mine, I really enjoy a glimpse of her ‘in the world’ so to say. Like we are seeing how she interacts in these settings, glimpses in the relationship she has with Soohyun - who knows her so well. Ah, I adore Soohyun even if I get wrapped up in the boys most of the time. I also love that we see Soohyun talk her off of her anxiety ledge even if she does it more brashly than we say Hyunjin do just a beat earlier. The hope Hyunjin showed at MC wanting to return to their place making her defensive and uncertain is like a one sentence summary of the relationships up until now (bar the brief period of happiness before that dick presented the contract. AGH my poor baby shrinking away I want to give her a hug. “I’m not your baby” very apt BUT does make me thinking of dirty dancing every time she says this haha. I’m happy she feels she can read their sincerity. Longing over the view of the boys functioning as a pack BABY THAT COULD INCLUDE YOU TOO. MC’s low self-worth slipping in the cracks like darling of course they would fire that man for manipulating and belittling you like this. It seems MC is finally settling into believing them.
INSO I LOVED THIS CHAPTER!!!!
(Okay starting here is actually my reply!!!!)
Rare Inso fact but sometimes when I get really happy I shake really bad and sometimes my teeth chatter! This series of asks made my teeth chatter 😆 hahahaha
Okay embarrassing anecdote aside— Hi! Thank you!!! You are totally welcome to my DMs but in the meantime I welcome the asks too. I love essays 🫶
Awww you like the title! I’m glad!!! This title in particular was actually up in the air until kind of the last minute; I had a different one I didn’t like, and then I settled on this one which I liked a lot more, and then I realized late that Eurydice kinda sorta rhymes with Lividity (last chapter title) which drove me temporarily insane. But at that point I was attached! So we persist 🙆
I really like this read of the title! I think in general I was thinking a lot about the concept of looking back and turning back and trying again, and also of doubt born of love, and the inevitability of that. It also fits the sort of death theming that these chapters get! We kind of get a whole process of dying and coming back, through the titles. It is possible I overthink these things hahaha
Aww I love how much Jinnie there is in the parts you picked out 💛 RON!Hyunjin can go a little quiet when there’s too much of something so it’s nice getting to see him when we see him in these chapters. “such a class alpha/omega role embodiment” I agree!!! That wishy-washy power dynamic
“Felix being like such a taut wire that he can do nothing but keep his eyes forward and focus on breathing” I also really love this 😭 What a lovely description
“to them, she is their soulmate. And to her, they are people she was kind of dating” And this!!! It really is funny remembering what information both of them are working with, because I think a lot of the boys’ more intense or extreme behavior gets kind of explained by soulmate stuff (I saw a lot of readers bringing it up when they showed up at her place, for example!) but she doesn’t know that. Yet 👀
I think Chan ends the fic feeling as responsible for MC and the others as he always has, but I also think he has one of the more extreme shifts with her in a way, too…? Like the way he deals with or externalizes that responsibility gets to change. I think you see his current, very restricted self at its most extreme in these chapters; in particular in chapter 65 there’s a moment where he really feels he should have said more or did more or did… anything! There’s so much pressure and he doesn’t want to ruin it, but it makes him hesitate into stagnancy. So — yes, faltering! I agree, that’s a good word to prescribe to him overall 😊
“luna or lore equivalent” I had to google this (I couldn’t find lore though, it just kept showing me Fanlore LOL) but that’s so interesting!!! I get it though; Minho is just very… steady! He implodes quietly. Overall I think Minho and MC are mostly on the same page, but I also think MInho thinks that MC thinks of him as some kind of stalwart protector, and MC mostly just think of him as her friend. She doesn’t really blame him for things often but I think there are times in these chapters where he is trying to protect her and she would just like her friend back
I reallyyyy like your body language analysis for Changbin 💛💛 Because you’re soooo right, he is not pleased but it isn’t the time and he knows that, and he’s not over it but it’s also complicated and he knows that too. Very emotionally mature, but also very…. Mmmm. His emotions are very visible, I think? That’s kind of where the disrespectful form of address comes from too, I think — he doesn’t really hide it well when he doesn’t like someone, does he? 😆 Overall I feel like I used Changbin for exposition a lot in this story. But he is a good expositor!!! The only T in a cast full of F’s. What can I say
Omg I wanted to mention this earlier but I just pulled it aside for the Hyunjin section: “Hyunjin trying desperately to help but his method being to essentially throw himself at it until he succeeds (sounds like how he learned dance and his other talents)” I LOVE THIS!!! Yes, you get it. I feel like Hyunjin has things he gives up very easily in (and like, when MC was ignoring him, he fought it a lot less than the others; very mopey! a little passive. think him during the Hyunjin/Seungmin one-sided divorce) but there are also some things were he is just… soooooo persistent. He really tries and tries and tries in these chapters and it kind of breaks my heart— Oh! “kind of cracked my chest open and scooped me out” Yes this exactly
Hannie wants to be her keeper soooo bad hahahaha. They’re all protective of her but I think he has the interesting trait of being protective over her even towards his own pack, and it’s kind of funny watching him try to close her off into their own little world over and over, population: 2. In this case I do think it’s more practical and grounding, like you said, than selfish; the large number of people really exacerbates the stress for MC, I think. Even now, they’re his pack, but not hers
I’m very charmed by how charmed readers have been by angry Felix 😆😆 His insides are in such a state of disarray right now. I think it was easier and simpler to him when he just thought he was having his heart broken; but everything is a little unclear and sharp around the edges now, and I think the helplessness of it, and the guilt, are really eating at him. Felix talks a little more about what he was feeling in the start of the night later so I feel like I shouldn’t expand too much for now! But yes, I like this 💛
A Seungmin phase….!!!! (holding your hands) I have to stop telling people this over and over but Seungmin has some of my favorite lines of dialogue in chapter 65 which is also maybe my favorite chapter in the fic (!!!!), I don’t know if it will be sexy but it’s sexy to ME. Okay anyway. Volatile is right!!! He flip-flops a lot, I think…?? I kind of feel like Seungmin doesn’t deal with uncertainty well, hahaha. He will talk about this actually in another one of my favorite chapters
Trust is such a big part of MC’s relationship with Jeongin like you said that the possibility of him sharing her address is really eating at her!!! I also think their relationship is very sweet… I mean Innie wants to eat her bones and all. But you know. I feel like Jeongin is one of the more restrained members in RON but I also feel like he agonizes about it a lot less. Something something Chan and I.N narrative foils 😊 “I SHOULD READ THE RUT CHAPTER INSTEAD SO I DON’T SEE THE MANAGER” This made me laugh hahahaha
I really love the trope of characters listening in on a conversation they aren’t a part of, it brings me joy, as you can probably tell by the fact that we’ve had two in quick succession (and a third, upcoming! but you didn’t hear it from me 🙅). I totally get what you mean about the “glimpse of her ‘in the world’” thing! Everyone is different with everyone, and MC is I think especially different with Soohyun. You just don’t treat your best friend since childhood the same as the hot guy you met once your frontal lobe was fully developed. “of course they would fire that man” I really loved writing this part of the chapter hahahaha. MC like “oh, you’re firing him?? is it because of me???” and all of SKZ are screaming crying throwing up
This string of asks really was so kind!!! I have talked so much already LOL I hope I didn’t ramble too much. But I’m very happy you liked it!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts!!!!! 💛💛💛💛💛