Monoma... I need to talk to you about something. Please, youāre the only one I can turn to.
ua-monoma 11:10 PM
... Aha.
Sure.
Um, what's wrong?
ua-uraraka 11:11 PM
I... just got introduced to the rest of the League
And Iām so scared.
ua-monoma 11:12 PM
Oh hell
When? Just now??
ua-uraraka 11:12 PM
A few minutes ago.
I donāt know why they did it. What more could they want from me??
ua-monoma 11:17 PM
I... I don't know.
I really don't, I'm sorry...
ua-uraraka 11:18 PM
They um.... they mentioned you. And someone else.
ua-monoma 11:18 PM
They mentioned me???
Ugh
... Who else did they...
Ugh.
I guess I can backread if I need to...
ua-uraraka 11:20 PM
They didnāt say a name. But I learned something pretty interesting about you.
ua-monoma 11:21 PM
...
Oh?
ua-uraraka 11:21 PM
Yeah.
They arenāt paying you.
ua-monoma 11:23 PM
Oh...?
I... wasn't aware you were even getting paid.
Haha...
So much for equality in the workforce huh, ahaha..
ua-uraraka 11:27 PM
Youāre doing it because you want to.
Iām doing it for my parents.
ua-monoma 11:28 PM
I'm not doing anything because I want to!
Fucking... how dare you...
I've barely even done anything, you- everything that's happened to endanger our school this year has been your fault!
ua-uraraka 11:29 PM
Why else would you be there willingly!
Theyāll kill my parents if I say no! And I canāt exactly turn them in!!
I.... what happened was my fault.... and I still have nightmares about it. I feel so bad. I canāt... I canāt keep helping them. People will die if it doesnāt stop.
ua-monoma 11:30 PM
Yes, because you're the only one who's allowed to have their lives threatened by the League. You and your cushy fucking paycheck.
God.
You have some nerve... Insulting me and then playing the victim card and trying to get me to help you...
ua-uraraka 11:32 PM
You act like they give me hundreds of thousands of yen for this. Itās only 5000 Ā„ when I do something good enough ...
ua-monoma 11:33 PM
And I get nothing but a heaping pile of abuse, what's your fucking point.
ua-uraraka 11:33 PM
Look I... I didnāt mean to yell at you I just.... I just got freaked out that they brought me into their group chat.
ua-monoma 11:33 PM
Tch.
ua-uraraka 11:33 PM
I shouldnāt have bothered you.
ua-monoma 11:33 PM
No, it's fine. God.
...
You don't actually want to be doing this, right?
ua-uraraka 11:34 PM
No. I hate that I was stupid enough to let myself get into this mess.
ua-monoma 11:34 PM
Okay. And I'm the same.
I don't want to be doing this either.
I'm stuck in just as deep as you.
ua-uraraka 11:34 PM
But what else can I do? Iāve gotten in way too deep and if I confess then Iāll never be a hero. My parents might even have to move.
I shouldnāt be mad at you.... itās not your fault...
ua-monoma 11:35 PM
Ugh
It's not your fault either...
We shouldn't be fighting, really... Considering...
If we're the only hero hopefuls stuck in there, we should act as a team...
... Or something.
ua-uraraka 11:36 PM
A team? Against them?
ua-monoma 11:36 PM
I don't know...
I have a... idk if you can really call it a strategy.
But it's something.
ua-uraraka 11:37 PM
But blowing them in would mean exposing us. Arenāt you afraid of that?
ua-monoma 11:37 PM
Mm...
Of course I am...
ua-uraraka 11:37 PM
... I want to hear your plan.
ua-monoma 11:38 PM
It's not much of one.
It's... not particularly good, either...
ua-uraraka 11:38 PM
Itās better than nothing.
And Iād rather go against them with you than on my own.
ua-monoma 11:40 PM
That's... almost sweet.
I guess, ahaha.
ua-uraraka 11:41 PM
I judged everything way too quickly.
ua-monoma 11:41 PM
It's fine...
I didn't exactly think the best of you when I found out, either.
ua-uraraka 11:41 PM
I mean, who would?
Even if we have our own reasons, it doesnāt look good to anyone on the outside.
ua-monoma 11:42 PM
Mhm...
ua-uraraka 11:42 PM
I guess I should let you go. Iām sure you have just as much homework as I do, haha...
ua-monoma 11:43 PM
I've finished mine. But, ah... I suppose if you want to go now, you can.
...
Probably good to delete this conversation from your phone, if you weren't planning to already.
ua-uraraka 11:44 PM
I should have started it, but the other messages distracted me.
Yeah, I always do.
ua-monoma 11:44 PM
Right...
... It's probably better to talk about these things, ah... In person.
To save time.
ua-uraraka 11:44 PM
Yes... I think youāre right.
ua-monoma 11:44 PM
Yeah.
So, um...
If you ever wanna hear my sad excuse for a plan, haha...
With this newest push from Toga, Ochaco steeled her self to confront Monoma. She was completely not ready for this, but seeing as how impatient Toga was getting, her discomfort was certainly the better choice. She vaguely knew what happened to people that disappointed the League, and even that was enough to turn her blood cold. The stories that Toga liked to brag about rushed to the forefront of her thoughts unwittingly. Little snip its of information about Monoma in particular come forward and she canāt believe that she hadnāt remembered them before.
Sheād found him and somehow worked up the courage to pull him to the side and ask him to follow with her. She was a bundle of nerves as she walked down the almost quiet corridor, the sound of her heels clicking against the ground reverberated off the walls and sounded too loud in her ears. It seemed so misplaced, just a steady click clack, click clack, click clack that was at odds with her racing mind and heart.Ā
Monoma frowned at the floor as he followed. Honestly, he was simultaneously relieved and frustrated at the thought of having to be alone with her at the moment. The nonsense with the League wasn't even in the forefront of his mind, he was still fixated on the complicated mess of emotion they were all stuck in. The fight he'd just left the scene of especially stuck with him. All of it... it was all just so much.
The sound of her heels were... incredibly loud, considering. Glancing up at her, he frowned, unable to keep it all in before they reached whatever destination she was aiming for. "... Uraraka, what is this about?" he asked tiredly, already exhausted.
A small groan escaped her at that question. She couldnāt stop it.
She had no idea how to answer his question. No idea how to tell him what she needed to tell him, how to try and break it to him easily cause this news would shock anyone; sweet little meek Ochaco working for the villains, if it wasnāt true the idea would be preposterous even to herself. Hell she didnāt even have an idea of where she was going!
With that realization she stopped suddenly and spun around to face him. He was closer to her than she had anticipated, and she couldnāt help the blush that came to her cheeks as certain memories flooded her head.
She opened her mouth trying to find the right words, but all that came out was, āI donāt know. I donāt know what to say to you, and I donāt know how to tell you what I need to tell you.ā The realization that this was the most wholly open and honest she had been with someone in what seemed like ages hit her like a brick, and she could just hear the absolute sincerity in her own voice.
Monoma only gaped at her, blinking rapidly. How exactly was he supposed to respond to something like that...? He only stared at her for a long moment, studying her face, trying to come up with any sort of theory that could possibly explain what was happening.
"Just... don't worry about how... Just say it. Whatever comes into your head," he suggested quietly. "It can't be worse than anything else I've had to deal with this week."
She canāt help the laugh that comes forth, itās more from nerves, but it almost sounds spiteful. She hates it. She hates the way she feels when sheās in situations like this. When she doesnāt know what to do or say. It makes her feels so insignificant, so small and useless, so bad. The exact opposite of how a hero in training should feel.
She spends a long moment thinking, racking her brain for anyway she can break this news to him. Any way to make it easier for him. Cause when he speaks to her so softly like that, so different from almost every other time sheās seen him. She canāt help but feel a twisting in her guts.
She takes a deep shuddering breath before trying to speak again, āI need to confess something to you... something... big...ā
Monoma waited patiently in the silence as he watched her fight against her thoughts. It didn't surprise her that she continued to delay the inevitable, though he tried his best to keep his frustration back. "Okay," he replied softly, trying his best to coax the truth from her gently. "Whatever it is... I can handle it."
She takes a deep breath, and sighs wishing the words she needed to say were as easy to expel as the air.
Then in a voice almost no more than a whisper she lets out, āI know youāre working with the League...ā before she can continue she again looses confidence and lets the rest of her sentence die in her mouth.
Monoma freezes, thoughts fizzling into nothing. It was a painful thing, having every cell in his body just suddenly stop and squirm in horror. He should have known a day like this would happen, but--
"I..." All the blood leaving his face, he just shakes his head, a hand coming up to clutch at his heart. "I'm- I'm not--" he insists weakly, though he can feel panic rising up fast, trying to find a solution, trying to figure out how he could get out of this situation. He'd do whatever it took- beg her, pay her, hurt her--
She hasnāt been able to look at him through most of this conversation. But she looks up as he begins to stammer, sees the panic and fear in his eyes. Sees the same exact expression that meets her in the mirror from time to time. And her heart breaks. No one should have to feel like that, and she caused this.
She rushes forward before she knows what sheās doing, her damn heels once again too loud. She brushes that thought off, right now it doesnāt matter. She grabs Monomas shoulders and forces him to look her in the face.
āIām not going to tell anyone! Ā Donāt worry. No ones ever going to find out about this, I promise.ā She insists desperately.
The it all comes tumbling forth from her lips, everything that has happened with her. It came spilling forth in an almost incomprehensible jumble and she could feel tears spilling from her eyes along with her words. How her family was desperate, how they borrowed money from the wrong people. How she had been approached and just couldnāt say no. How she had been feeding the League information since the beginning. How they paid her for her āworkā keeping her family safe from the loan sharks. How she had been lying to everyone she considered a friend. How she tried to stay in the dark as best she could but that she had herd thing; bad thing; things pertaining to him. And then when it was all out in the open her voice finally broke and she couldnāt stop the sobs that wracked her body.
She had been bundling up all of this for so long, so alone in all of this that now she finally let everything out in the open she couldnāt figure out how to stop and bottle it back up.
It was a lot. Too much. In an instant it was all too much, but it kept rushing forward, overwhelming him more and more and more, pushing him past shock, damn well past any sort of comprehension at all. He'd lied, when he said he could handle it. He'd been lying about so much for so long.
At some point, Monoma feels his knees go weak with it all. It takes everything he has to not just collapse from the despair that accompanies her story. At some point, he must have stumbled back a bit, because he finds his back against the wall, her hands still gripping onto him hard, keeping him in place. He's so tired. He feels so trapped in this. The knowledge that someone else was held in the same confines as himself... It was too much. It was just... so unfair.
"... I'm sorry..." he finally whispers when her words finally peter off into nothing. Ā "Fuck... I'm so sorry...." He almost wants to weep for her, for them both, but he's just... too exhausted to.
Sheās an absolute mess. She knows she is. And his soft apology is more than she can take in this emotionally raw state, it send her into another fit of broken sobs. She collapses into him gripping onto him like a lifeline. And deep down she knows that itās not fair of her to dump all of this on him. Not fair of her to be so weak. But she is. Itās all sheās ever been. So she searches for any form of comfort she can wring out of him. Her arms slip from his shoulders and clutch desperately at his rumpled shirt as she buries her face into is chest and just continues to cry.
She doesnāt know how long they stay like that. Doesnāt know how long it take for her eyes to finally dry up, but it eventually happens. Her breathing finally becomes close to something normal, and even though her whole body feels like itās about to just slump to the floor she takes a step back from him.
She canāt meet his eyes. She canāt even bring her head up to look in his general direction. Rubbing the final dregs of tears from her face she sniffles. ā Iām sorry. Iām so sorry, I didnāt mean to tell you all of that.ā She tells him in a small raw voice.
Uraraka pulling away has got to be one of the more painful parts of the night. When she'd been against him- when he was just holding her, curled down enough around so that his head could rest atop hers- It absolutely wasn't any semblance of safety, but it was something. Something to latch onto. Something to pretend, for a moment, that he could keep safe. Something that needed him in the world.
Everything spun in his head, faster and slower, slowing to a stop as she finally tore himself away. The sudden absence of body heat was cold and searing, like skin being ripped away to expose the gory remains to the air, and it took him a second too long to cope with that sudden, strange loss he felt.
"... It's okay," Monoma said again, voice faint and far away. "I... don't mind that you did..."
She feels so lost. So naked in front of him; she had just barred all of her darkest truths to him, and now she didnāt know what to do. There was still so much that needed to be said. So much she should have explained better. All of it was swirling around in her mind, like the sea during a storm; powerful, devastating, chaotic, wild. She couldnāt calm her thoughts as they began to jumble together mixing in the worst ways.
Compartmentalize and forget. Compartmentalize and forget. Compartmentalize and forget. she tries to focus on her manta, but even thatās not working now. The damn had broken and a single finger plugging up the hole wasnāt going to cut it anymore.
His voice is the only thing that breaks through her revive. That soft faint voice that still sounds so foreign with out the acrid bite that it normally holds. That is what brings her back to the here and now. The validation he gives her stabs into her chest and twists suddenly, and if she had anymore tears to shed she was sure they would come again, but she was throughly used up. She was sure she had nothing more left to give. Right? The sudden ache she felt resting near her heart begged to differ.
āThank you.ā Is all she whispered in her husk of a voice. Itās not the right words, but there arenāt right words to express her gratitude in this situation. They just donāt exist.
Then she begins to feel the weight of the situation they are in again. Specifically the weight of her cellphone resting in her pocket. And she remembers the reason for all of this.
She lifts her head to look in his direction, unable to bring herself to make eye contact, but itās better than nothing she supposes.
āThereās more. And again Iām sorry but I need your help with something. I need to get student files and bring copies of them to Toga, and it needs to happen tonight.ā
Monoma flinches. Just the sound of Toga's name was enough to force his mind deeper into itself, burrowing down where it was still dark and soft and safe from harm. Another task. Another little 'errand'. He'd been hoping, praying, that somehow, by some sort of miracle, that he'd be free of those. It'd been so long since... that had happened...
He nods shortly. His heart (wrong and twisted and wrong) beats fast in his chest as he straightens, frowning as he glances back. Files. Copies. Okay. Easy enough. Okay.
"Okay." Mouth thinning into a line, he looks back towards her, focused now on the task at hand like a switch had clicked his emotions off. "Where can we find them...? We should do it fast, before anyone starts looking for us. I already have people worried about me..."
She takes a breath, trying to ground herself. She still canāt look directly at him, but she can hear the change in his demeanor. Itās like his personality had flipped, not to the arrogant ass he could normally be, but to something methodical, efficient and neat.
And she feels that ache in her chest again and she canāt understand why. But she brushes this off, she could worry about that later. Now that her breakdown was over they needed to get this done. She needed to get this done.
āThere in the administration offices. One of the school councilors has everyoneās files. We need a few of the support course students charts.ā She tells him her voice blank as she rattles off the information.
"I see," he mumbles out shortly, already starting to move the second he heard the location. Moving on autopilot, Monoma takes her hand and starts to lead her to the offices in short, quick strides, wanting to get it all done and over with as fast as possible. Any thoughts on why the League could possibly need that sort of information was immediately pushed away in favor for what was in front of him.
"Hopefully we won't have to sneak in," he says, thinking out loud. "This is a good time to go, though. Everyone's distracted by the carnival.." He paused, thoughts switching gear. "Either through a window or through a vent, that's probably how we'll have to do it."
As they begin to walk in the direction of the offices Monoma takes her hand. For some reason this little gesture cause heat to flood to her cheeks, and she prays that he wonāt notice. Then her treacherous body that just would not listen to her around this boy decided to squeeze his hand gently in response.
She shouldnāt be as embarrassed as she is seeing as she was literally just sobbing in his arms but she canāt help get a little flustered.
They eventually made it to the offices and with the use of her quirk successfully got in and finished what they needed to. The whole ordeal was quick and quite and thankfully incident free. They worked well together not even needing to speak to know what the other wanted it seemed.
Finally when it was over and they should have parted ways Ochaco couldnāt bring herself to leave him just yet. So she stood there silently a thick tension in the air.
Monoma wasn't looking at her at first. He was almost...upset, and mourning the fact that it was over so fast, now that it was done with. Without a task to devote all his attention to, he was left with nothing but the dark void of his thoughts.
... For a moment, he wonders how the files will get delivered. If Toga was going to come onto the campus in someone else's skin and retrieve them herself, or if Kurogiri was going to appear out of thin air and nab them himself. Silently, he hates the way his body almost craves the sight of them, almost as much as he rejects them. Maybe...
"... Maybe I should help you hand them over," he mumbles out, trying not to fidget. "Or... I don't know. Leaving you alone right now would feel wrong." He smiles sheepishly, nervous. "Maybe you feel the same...? I dunno... I don't mean to assume..."
āYes.ā The word flies out of her mouth almost desperately. She very nearly wishes she could grab it and force it back in. It sounds too needy to her, almost like shes begging him not to go.
And it hits her, she doesnāt want him to go. She doesnāt want him to leave her yet. Monoma is the only other person who even comes close to being in the same situation as her. Heās the only one who understands.
And if she were a better person, if she was stronger she should let him go. But again the realization of just how weak and pathetic she is sucker punches her. She needs him. She had tasted the catharsis of confessing all of her sins and she knew there was no turning back. She knew that she would need to talk to someone about this again. And who else could she talk to but him.
She clears her throat trying to gain some semblance of an easy demeanor. She fails miserably.
āI mean, I wouldnāt mind the company. I always hate meeting up with them on my own. It would be nice to have you with me.ā
There's a certain level of relief in hearing that, though it feels a little damning at the same time. He's only allowing himself to be dragged in deeper, though, at the moment, he really can't find the will inside him to mind. For a second, he almost feels like a little kid again, shy, sheepish, wanting to take her hand and lead her off again, like they were going on a fun adventure instead of further down into the grave they've dug into themselves.
He doesn't reach for her this time. Instead, he fidgets, putting his offending hands into his pockets before he nods. "Let's go, then."
[Her phone chimes alerting her of a new message. She looks at it and immediately bursting out into laughter. She holds her phone up for Monoma to see. Itās a picture of Monoma floating in midair with Uraraka pulling him along on capture tape.] Why Monoma, I believe you are by far the most attractive balloon I ever did see. Youāre facial expression is so great, you look so suave and Uraraka looks so frustrated. Tsuyu just sent this to me, do you remember this training session?
[He looks at the picture, his face carefully neutral for a moment before his mouth twitches into a vague smile. He spends a few more moments staring at Urarakaās face before finally bursting into a soft chuckle.]
... Haha! Yes! Yes, I do remember. What a dastardly thing she is, haha, sheās always been one to give me trouble~ I donāt think I ever properly got her back for this one, actually... Mm~Ā
A lot about how the school was run was changed. The security, too. Or maybe heād just forgotten the general sense of paranoia that ruled over every inch of the campus, with all its cameras and all its guards poring over every corner of the place they could. He doesnāt understand how he was able to stand it before. He doesnāt know how heāll be able to take it now, with all eyes on him, waiting for any sort of sign, any sort of evidence, any sort of proofĀ that he was... different. Turned. Compromised, like so many of them suspected.
He couldnāt sleep. It was only a few hours into his second day, a full twenty four hours into these new sort of living conditions, and he already felt he couldnāt take it. It was slowly trying to crush him, he could feel it, closing in, meter by meter. Itās the most claustrophobic heās felt in a while. Heās so scared. Voices repeat in his head, memories scratching at the back of his neck.
you came back, you shouldnāt be back...
... Heās so scared. He feels panic churning in his guts, threatening to rush from his mouth. He thinks how, any second... any second he could be taken and...
tenko-san... will be mad... dabi--
He rolls over in bed, curling up on his side, swallowing back terror. He doesnāt know what to do. He doesnāt feel safe. The whole point of this was to get away from it all, but he doesnāt feelĀ safe.
He doesnāt know what to do.
And thereās nothing he can do that wonāt make everything worse.
The only thing he can think... the only thing he can think to do is at least... do what heās been meaning to do since he got back...
...
He retrieves his phonne, typing slowly, chewing on his lip as he reads and rereads his message over and over before finally sending it.
Hey...! Iām back. We should catch up, I miss you.
Let me know if youāre free?
Hope I didnāt wake you.