#dlarix

[baenling]

dlarix replied to your photoset “genjichu: Look how many pieces there are to my Genji cosplay lol”

But is it meant to be so.... revealing?

Have you ever seen Genji

[dlarix]

Does it still hurt since you've been gone?

…Yeah, it does. It’s been nearly a year now, come to think of it. You and the others, yeah, they’re all gone, too. I didn’t think I would make it in the beginning, did you know? Sometimes I still feel that way. It’s hard – it’s all hard to deal with, but I’m moving. Not ‘moving on’, just yet. Not completely. But I am still moving.

Does it still hurt?

…Yeah, it does. I did the only thing that knew I could do, and that was not enough. Not for you, anyway. What I did was never enough, at least not in the eyes of your friends. I guess that’s why they are only your friends now.

But does it still hurt?

…Yeah, it does. It’s hard to not talk trash about you, especially the rest of what is left of the others. I’m not as pathetic as I used to be. I’ve gotten my wild emotions finally back under control. I don’t cry or outburst with rage like I did when the wounds were fresh. As Adele said, “They say that time’s supposed to heal you, but I ain’t done much healing.”

But WHY do I still care so much? …You know, that’s a great question. Why am I still hung up about it, 10 months later? I’ve found a new home for myself since then. I’ve found three amazing guilds with whom I have begun my next chapter. I don’t constantly log on to foreign servers in hopes of seeing your name all alone in the late hours of the morning, anymore, but I never forgot that those were our hours. I don’t ask about you from the people that turned on me, anymore. I’m not allowed to know that you survived what came between us.

I could give a fuck about myself.

I only ever wanted you to be happy.

…But are you?

[dlarix]

Wind Seer Dlarix of Aruuna.

[dlarix]

All the spam porn blogs that have followed me lately have been garbage. Give me that good spam.

[dlarix]

I miss my friend.

I miss your presence. I miss the way you made me feel safe. I miss the way you would always know what to say. I miss your song. I miss the way I could make you laugh. I miss the old days of just us. I miss the first time in a long time that I heard your voice. I miss the times when we would stay up all night together. I miss hearing about your family. I miss learning new things about you. I miss the days when you and I would just sit in each other ambient sounds without speaking. I miss watching you dance. I miss talking about your school. I miss hearing Family Feud from downstairs. I miss hearing your computer sound like a plane about to lift off the runway. I miss so many things about you, But most of all: I miss my friend.

[dlarix]

Why am I so angry? I am completely enraged right now. I feel like I’m about to go off. I need to cool down. I need a stiff drink. Several to many. I need to chill out, but I don’t know how.

Everyday is an uphill battle.

[dlarix]

Baby, if you want to pull out receipts, I’ve got receipts. It’s not like me to pull out old screenshots on friends, but if you want to play it that way. Don’t you play dumb with me, sweetheart.

Farmed fresh this morning.

[dlarix]

Dlarix in stormwind wondering why they were already putting up Winter’s Veil decorations before it’s even Hallows End.