Reasons to Leave a Building on Fire
This morning at 1:30 a.m., our dorm room fire alarm went off. In a deep sleep, our high pitched fire alarm seemed to convince my unconscious mind that I was, for some reason, being arrested. Waking up to the blinding lights of the alarm I woke Ems up, and proceeded to put mildly presentable clothes on.
If you’re wondering why I would put normal people clothes on instead of heading to the nearest exit, it’s because fire alarms are a normal part of our college life. In fact, the other dorm on campus set off the alarms five nights in a row. It’s no secret that the local fire department loves us. We go way back.
If you’re like us, and have false alarms caused by other recreational activities, know that you should always leave a building when the fire alarm goes off.
Just in case you need help figuring out what to do, here are some helpful tips:
1. Don’t argue with your roommate about whether or not it’s real.
Emilie seems to think that all fire alarms are a lie (she lived in the other dorm in the previous semester). So trying to get her to actually get out of bed was a struggle. Turns out I save this bitch’s (this bitch is the most common affectionate name we have for each other, don’t be alarmed) life!
2. Find out where your RA or neighbors are congregating.
This is so that, in case of a real emergency, they can assure that they know you aren’t passed out or dying. Keep in mind they are responsible for you, and some fifty college kids are a handful.
3. Fish before you ditch.
If you have a pet, save them too because they can’t save themselves. Our neighbor Cop Josh rescued his pet fish after realizing that this was a real emergency. You’re the real MVP Cop Josh 👍
4. Don’t overload the dryer.
The reason for our fire? An overloaded dryer. First of all, why is someone doing laundry at 1:30 a.m.? Do your goddamn laundry at a decent hour like the rest of us. Second, this is why you need to learn how to do your laundry properly before you come to college. High school Seniors, take a page from you Mom’s Book of Domestic Chores because this is what happens when you don’t pay attention.
In all, this experience has basically taught me to be thankful for my mother, never have a pet in the dorms, be appreciative of my RAs, and pack my roommate a “the building is on fire” kit. All wonderful things to be aware of.
Also, totally thankful for our friends because they let us stay in their room. Yesh.
