ii. dug a thousand graves
another carol danvers x reader based on king princess’ talia (wow i love this song so much like you dont even know)
warnings: death, grief, depression
listen to it here: (x)
Hey, my love I buried you a month or two ago I keep thinking that you're standing on my floor That you're waiting there for me
Maria thought it would be best to come and visit you. She hasn’t heard from you in days--which was not that surprising, considering that you were both grieving. But she hasn’t heard from you for almost a month, which started to scare her. She thought giving you a week off alone after the “funeral” would be all the time you needed, Maria thought you would come reach out to her by then, but you didn’t. That’s what scared her.
Pulling over to your house, which normally brought a lot of happy memories to Maria, one could notice the heavy feeling hovering about it. A dreadful feeling that made Maria falter as she walked up to your doorstep. Hesitating at the front door, she leaned in, hoping to hear something--anything. Any sign of life. The sound of the radio, the singing, the laughing--it felt so long ago. Maria felt like she has seeing a carcass, the long forgotten past.
But she finally opened the door. Bracing herself for the worst, she had expected the house to have been upturned. She thought she would be seeing ripped curtains, broken vases, chunks of glass everywhere. But what’s even worse than that was that the house was--neat. It looked exactly like how it did whenever she would come visit the two of you.
The two of you.
The house was exactly the way Carol left it.
Now growing more agitated, she found herself in front of your bedroom door. She was scared of what she would find. A shaky hand found the knob and slowly, she turned it.
Maria found you.
You were alive.
But the sight of you brought so much pain and despair to Maria, who you have treated like a sister.
You were alive, but you were as good as gone.
She found you slumped beside the bed, one arm hanging on top of the mattress. Resting your head on it, you were blankly staring at a picture frame that has long been shattered.
“Y/N?” Maria’s voice was low, whispering, scared to make any sudden or loud movements.
You didn’t respond. It didn’t even register in your head that someone was there, in your house, that someone had just called your name,
All you had in mind was...her.
“It’s Maria.” She slowly made her way towards you. “How long have you been sitting here?”
Still you didn’t move, or even acknowledge that she was there. Your breathing was shallow, and you were unmoving. As if you had also stopped...living.
“Y/N, you have to pull it together. It’s been quite some time.”
Maria’s words finally registered into your head.
Has it? Has it been some time ago? A month? Two?
Finally, you slowly looked up to see your friend, a distressed look on her face. She asked you again if you were alright, if you needed anything.
Opening your mouth, the words barely made their way past. “How long...” your voice was hoarse from crying. “How long has it been?”
“We buried her a month and a half ago.”
“We didn’t bury her, Maria. It was an empty casket.”
“I know, Y/N, but...” Maria bit her lip, “It was the only way we could get some closure.”
But you couldn’t. Even after that funeral you held for her, you were unable to get the closure you needed.
Because you didn’t want closure.
You wanted Carol. Alive.
And you see her everywhere.
“She’s everywhere I go.” You said, now feeling the tears falling again. “She’s the scent of this house, the smell of the pillows, the smile on the pictures.”
“Y/N, don’t do thi--”
“I don’t want to go to sleep because whenever I wake up, I thought all of it was just a nightmare...and Carol would be standing there, waiting, and I...” You burst into tears, now raising your hands to your face as you cried.
Maria’s arms were around you instantly, consoling you. Amidst the sound of your cries, you hear her’s too.
“Hey, ugly!”
You turned away from the mirror to see her leaning against the doorway, smiling at you.
Pretending to be offended, you gasped dramatically, “Carol, how dare you! Don’t talk to yourself that way!”
Carol grinned, now moving to scooch behind you. Wrapping her arms around you, she reached to playfully nip your ear which caused you to giggle.
“Stop it! I need to get ready for Monica’s birthday party!”
“But you’re all set! You just made me stand there doing nothing, waiting for you.”
You turned your head slightly to smile at her. “But you like waiting for me, right?”
She nodded, “I always do,” before leaning in to kiss you.
I hope you all like it! I wrote this on the spur of the moment and it’s unedited so will come back to edit this.
I love you Carol you are my entire life right now skdhksjklsj.