He shouldn't be here and and he knows it. He stands outside her door, his hands scrunched into fists beside him, his left arm lifting slightly every few seconds to knock on the hotel room door, before he thinks better of it again. He shouldn't disturb her, when she's already been through so much over the last two days.
But he needs to know she's alright. He needs to know that she's alive and well, despite the injuries he'd seen only a few hours ago. He could still hear her screams in his head, echoing on repeat, interrupting his thoughts and making it impossible to sleep.
He raises his hand once more, this time determined to knock, when the door opens. It frames her beautifully, and even with the bruising around her eye and the cut on her lip, she is still the most stunning vision he's ever had the privilege of laying eyes on.
"How long were you planning on standing out there?" she asks, and he can hear in her voice that she is amused and confused in equal measures.
He shrugs slightly. "I..."
"Come in."
She opens the door wider, stepping back to allow him entrance. When she closes the door behind him and turns to look at him, it is all he can do to stop himself reaching out his arm to pull her against his chest. He knows that wouldn't be good. It would only further her confusion and that's the last thing he wants.
"I'm fine," she tells him, after he tries to speak three times, each time only ending up opening and closing his mouth like an idiot. "It looks worse than it is."
"What did the doctor say?" he asks eventually, sitting down on the edge of her bed.
"The worst of it is bruised ribs. Really, I'm fine."
"Bruised ribs isn't fine, Emily," he tells her, shaking his head.
She rolls her eyes at him, and it's such a familiar reaction from her that he is hard pressed not to smile at her. Why she doesn't understand why he's so worried, he doesn't know.
Doesn't she know that the guilt has been eating him up inside?
"I'm sorry."
"You've nothing to be sorry for, so far as I've been told. You're the reason I got out of there alive."
"I should have been able to get you out earlier."
It's her turn to shake her head. "I was doing my job, Dave, and you did yours. We get hurt sometimes. It's part of the job description."
He reached for her then, unable to control the impulse to touch her any longer. She allowed him to take her hand, and she squeezed it lightly. When he didn't say anything she sat down beside him. He didn't miss the slight wince she gave.
"Why are you here, Dave?"
"I realised something while I listened to that bastard beat you."
"Oh?"
He nodded. "I... You mean a lot to me. More than a lot, really. I mean..."
"I love you too, Dave."
"Can I stay with you tonight? Just to sleep. I don't think I can handle being away from you right now." "We said never on a case."
"Don't you think this is a special case?"
She sighed then nodded. "Alright."
She wakes slowly, feeling warmer and more comfortable than she has any right to in a hotel room. When strong arms pull her closer, she realises why she feels so comfortable. Dave is looking at her through sleepy eyes, and she smiles at him.
"Morning."
"Good morning," he replied, pressing a gentle kiss to her temple.
She snuggles into him for a moment, enjoying the feel of his embrace, enjoying the safety of being in his arms. It's not a luxury they allow themselves to indulge in while on the job, and this is the first time they've ever been anything less than professional.
"We should get up," she sighs, pulling away from him reluctantly. "I need a shower and you need to go back to your room before anyone else is up."
He nods. "I know. I'll see you in the lobby for breakfast?"
"I'll be there."
She gets up then and he follows suit, eyeing her flannel pyjamas with affection. "You'll come home with me tonight."
It's not a question she knows, but she nods in agreement anyway. She needs his presence as much as he seems to need hers, even if she hasn't admitted it out loud. She knows it was only him holding her to his chest that kept the nightmares away during the night, and she's not looking forward to the night when they finally catch up with her.
He reaches for her and pulls her into one last embrace, pressing his lips to the corner of hers, carefully avoiding the cut. "I do love you, Emily."
"I know."
