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/ * * honestly what zen would consider his worst trait is that, like...he can * promise his goddamn child that he won’t put himself in danger anymore * and he can genuinely want to do that but, he knows deep down that if * someone he loved were in trouble he would step in at the drop of a hat. * he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. * /

#readme.md #documentation.md

sticks leggy out real far hello i'd like one (1) fun zen fact

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ZEN FACTS hmmmmmm i haven’t thought about Those in a while

he has most definitely used people’s perceptions of him As A Monk to his advantage. like most of the time he sticks fairly close to the ‘do no harm’ model of things but like, especially as someone who’s traveled to so many places and has seen for himself how completely arbitrary Human Laws are (and as someone who’s been... like ...legally discriminated against.. .yknow) sometimes he does things that are not quite Moral depending on who you ask

he’s most definitely lied to people and stolen things and walked out with his hands folded talking about the ~~majesty of the Iris~~ and laughing quietly to himself. He’s let people put their guard down so damn low around him and then kicked their entire ass.

Zenyatta is chaotic good and cares for broader patterns much more than individual instances

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#documentation.md #blindsoldier #asks

please consider: zen's voice glitching out when he laughs too hard

/ * * sjkfdgKJSFG OH NO it’s like when someone’s voice cracks when they get * too excited * /

#// I MEAN HONESTLY LIKE??? laughter is just kind of like? ? a weird involuntary panic response or whatever #// thats somehow morphed into a social happiness thing #// so realistically like. if an omnic makes Laughing Noises despite Not Having Lungs #// its just like. Ah Yes Here Is The Noise That Humans Make #// if it's really a show of like... emotion #// the same startled weird gasping noises laughter is in humans #// then it would just be ?? garbled robot noises???#documentation.md #blindsoldier #malloc (i+1);

sticks leggy out real far tek tell me a Nice Zenyatta Fact

/ * * zenyatta? i dont know him * * ………. he knows absolutely nothing about technology. his knowledge * basically tops out at general first-aid type things for omnics. Keep any * damage as dry as possible, this-and-that can be used to block pain * responses, electrical tape is pretty great, etc. “but zenyatta, aren’t you ,” * [insert zenyatta voice here] oh-sorry-i-didn’t-realize-all-human-beings-are- * brain-surgeons * * catch him trying to send an email and sitting there for five minutes just kind * of guessing at different buttons (okay , he’s smart enough to figure out basic * functions, but anything that’s based on previous experience is just… not * gonna happen. “oh, just swipe down for notifications, see?” “ oh….i see…” ) * * I think probably it’s not a problem very often because his whole ‘monk’ aura * overrides the ‘robot’ thing so people tend to not really be surprised by this. * And I mean, why would you expect someone who spent most of their life * in a monastery / a wandering vagrant to keep up to date with technology? * But probably at least once someone made the mistake of… “ Okay Zen, * once we complete this part of the mission you’re going to use this to notif–” * “[gently hands it back] You should give this job to someone else.” * /

#blindsoldier #asks #documentation.md #malloc (i+1);

// zen isnt ... male

#documentation.md #readme.md #// like its not a Deal or anything and he/him is perfectly okay with him just #// shrugs a lot ???

HEADCANON TIME what do you think the circumstances of Zenyatta's creation were, and what his early life was like? .v.

/ * * AAAA i’ve been thinking a lot abt this but mostly just vague things so hmm * maybe subject to change but more or less something like * …. * so, neural nets… * * er * omniums as training programs and model builders and a cloud model with * little modules for what you needed but genetic variation and mutations * sometimes because sometimes different is better * so everything made there was a little different, but mostly the same. * Zenyatta wasn’t made by a Rogue omnium, he was supposed to serve * humanity. so, yknow, easy, just make him want to do that, right? * so he’s more of a “household” model meant for things like babysitting or * elder care or idk maybe just housekeeping when it came down to it * * (wait, why were they still manufacturing omnics after the crisis. im. wh. ok. * I don’t understand this timeline at all but let’s just roll with it) * * so he was kind of a rent-an-omnic type thing, the company kept him comfy * and he went to people’s homes and worked for them (he took care of a lot * of children he likes them a lot) and it was all good for a couple years, i mean * he was trained to enjoy it and it was all he ever knew * * but there was that little bit of difference he had, and it manifested over the * years as a certain line of thinking popping up and growing stronger of * “hm, well, their parents said not to do this, but i don’t see any danger in it, so * what’s the harm, really?” * * and it was really stuff that was harmless. staying up a little longer to finish * bedtime stories. watching TV shows and reading books parents didnt agree * with. He was quite the rebel. * but, yknow, he was quite the rebel. robots weren’t supposed to do that. * robots did what they were told and that was it. * * so he started getting complaints filed against him and they tried running a * few stopgap retraining programs on him but every time he slipped back into * it and eventually he just. one family had enough and kicked him out, * somewhat literally, whacking him hard with something to make sure it dented * and ranting about how this is why they didn’t want to hire a machine in the * first place. * * he could have gone back to his owners, he was an expensive piece of * equipment and they would have been more than happy to charge the family * for misuse, but he remembered the feeling of retraining and remembered * just how wrong it felt in some strange, indescribable way he might not ever * find the words for to tell a human about it, the way they can suck a habit out * of you in a matter of hours and leave you walking around with the feeling * that you’ve forgotten something but, you remember exactly what it was you’d * forgotten, but maybe you’re a little frightened of the thought now, maybe * now associate it with this strange empty feeling. * * so he ran. and ran and ran. * * but he was lucky. he met a lot of people during his life as a vagrant. a lot of * kind omnics and a lot of kind humans, ones that talked with him without the * expectation that he would be doing chores for them later. that were * genuinely interested in his experiences. * so his…backpropagation, habituation, from being violently thrown out in the * street was blessedly interrupted, and thoughts began forming in his head. * about how earth had so many great things to offer, and we spend too long * focused on taking them away. * * and then Mondatta found him, this poor dirty omnic in the street, and took * him in and taught him and all of these wonderful things. * * but he never quite got over that penchant for doing things differently. * * and we all know, more or less, where it went from here. * /

#// sdflkjgdfg #documentation.md #readme.md #tsivildivit #asks #malloc (i+1);

ALSO cute things to consider: zen. like zen in general but also zen giggling.

/ * * sdjfgfdIDJFG ITS SO VERY RARE, happiness runs in him like, like * steady and deep, and contented, for something to delight him enough * to GIGGLE, * /

#// quiet constant awareness of appreciation vs 'aWWW WWwwwWW. /YOU/'#documentation.md #blindsoldier #asks

here's a fuckin question: what the fuck is the 'beyond mortal comprehension' or w/e 'calling' that zenthulu and swordsman answer to. what the fuck.

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blizzard lore answer: the old gods! n’zoth. whatever. i mean, cults and their cult things. WoW is about to go all old gods and the devs are getting hype about it probably

my answer: ZEN DOESNT FUCKS WITH NZOTH ONCE HE LEAVES like, as i said he has absolute certainty that this force exists but he’s not going out of his way to Appease it or anything, he would much rather be Left The Fuck Alone than get whatever weird. ‘favor’ he might gain from such activities. so i wouldnt imagine he finds himself answering to any kind of calling once he runs into genji, Whenever The Fuck That Is In This Bizarro World Timeline (lbr canon ovw is also bizarro world timeline)

but then again like, despite his complete lack of Worship to this thing i think the acknowledgment of such a being could really come off as ~answering to a mysterious power~ to those who dont have the inner scoop on his personal beliefs. like just wandering around like ‘yes, the entropy of the old ones will one day consume us all.’

I GUESS REALLY ITS ???????? ITS JUST THE IRIS? like zen doesn’t worship the iris by any means its just a Fact Of Life for him and where he gets his ‘powers,’ so like the whole. Every Thing He Says About The Iris Ever definitely reads very strongly as, “answering to a power” outside of himself though he doesn’t see it like that at all

SO ZENTACLES IS THE SAME. iris but with more tentacles and nihilism. Genji Can Come Too.

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#blindsoldier #asks #documentation.md #catch(NullPointerException z) {#malloc (i+1);