Discover Top Posts Tagged with #documenting for future reference

hm. sometimes i think abt how much i want a binder, but then i remember i'm too scared of people asking questions.

i don't even really have a good reason for wanting one?? i don't know what my gender is tbh. she/her is nice. it's good and i'm used to it. they/them is new, but it's fine too. it's just... a bit weird? like it's not like i'll feel horrible if people don't use it for me, but i don't mind it? i know i don't prefer he/him bc it just doesn't fit who i am.

but i just. idk man. i could be cis and just "going through a phase" for all i know. i just think they/them is fine, i don't mind it. i'm used to she/her and feel "feminine" most days and like femme-directed nicknames/pet names. i used to think that i wouldn't mind she/her or they/them, but i don't really know anymore? gender confusing, and i'm new to the whole "questioning your gender" thing. atm i just use the enby label

where was i going with this??? oh, binder fjdks

some days i like my boobs and don't mind them. but other days i'm like ">:/ these are annoying and i think i want them off" for aesthetic reasons (i think). i often think abt how nice it would be to be flat, and i wonder if i would like it better that way.

it's made me wonder if i'm reasons for wanting a binder are somewhat selfish? since my reason for wanting one isn't really for dysphoria. but logically i know that it isn't. no one is going to critique me for wanting one.

tldr; kinda want a binder, kinda don't? gender confusing

#just talking #gender talk #documenting for future reference #this is how i've felt for a long time but i finally just wrote it down #i haven't really discussed this with many people?#mostly bc it's not really relevant to anything #thought i might as well write it down here since ive been thinking of binders #i'm also worried of not wearing it properly or caring for it properly and causing problems in the future

in regard to mary oliver one below

#i'm hoping these things will change soon #but it's gotten to that point where making any moves to try seems to just push what i want further away #and anyway it's been feeling like i've been amidst a bad sugar high and just abruptly woken from the middle of a too long too hot midday #nap constantly for weeks now #documenting for future reference

oh-i-reach-to-a-star has conceded her defeat

#documenting for future reference #oh i reach to a star

Just played drums for the first time in months and everything hurts. Hands covered in blisters, legs feel like lead, and I'm pretty sure I fucked up my back.

It was AWESOME.

#drummer problems #documenting for future reference

'You and I and the Wilcoxes stand upon money as upon islands. It is so firm beneath our feet that we forget its very existence.'

E. M. Forster, Howard's End

#documenting for future reference #in the park #howard's end #forster #modernism

I'm taking this prescription medicine for my back pain (because I'm actually an old lady) and it's so trippy omg. I feel like I'm gonna pass out at any moment but at least my back doesn't scream in pain when I lie down.

#documenting for future reference #today is only the first day good lord what will the next 9 days be like