#docwhal rants

[docwhal]

@ mineblr...

does anyone else say gentle prayers sometimes to the gods in the minecraft end poem? it’s my favorite poem, and when i light inscense it makes me feel safe to cast wishes and good thoughts to them

[docwhal]

me, writing a fic about rouxls kaard’s past and trauma

also me: im gonna draw pictures about it too cause im inspired!

also also me, starting to get scared: but if tumblr thinks i actually ship k/ngkaard ill be... mcshot. i dont ship it. this is the risk i am taking

[docwhal]

hot take:

music with it’s a note shifted to 432 hz isnt some naturally superior shit. for the same reason people like nightcore and vaporwave, humans naturally are curious to hear songs and melodies they recognize played in different keys. by dropping 8 hz, the key is slightly shifted, and the song almost feels new. its like when people say they’d like to hear their favorite song for the first time all over again

[docwhal]

being diagnosed wouldn’t stop people at goodwill from being mean to me but it would make me feel better about my inability to count change quickly or speak up when i’m afraid

[docwhal]

the best thing about remembering you is that i can compare my success and the beauty i have grown into to the pain you put me through and feel so much stronger. you’re not going to hurt me anymore. my horizon has new gods, new love, new conquest and you can just FUCK OFF!!!!

[docwhal]

once upon a time i posted art on this account

it’s been what, since february? you never realize what public humiliation will do to your psyche until one incident takes your entire mentality, your belief that you create content for a neutral if not positive audience, and gives you the insight that not only one but a group of people (the post got 70 or so notes) hate your artwork.

it’s been a few months, but today i turned 18 and have finally opened a paypal. commissions are very likely in my future as i have wanted to draw commissioned art for years.

it’s not easy coming back on tumblr. of course i’m not horrifically scarred, i’m not giving anyone involved with that post that satisfaction, but if i ever had art block before, this is like that times 500. i have no effort to create for an audience i’m terrified of.

however i know there are so many good souls out there too, with whom art is a joy worth sharing. opening commissions has long since been my dream, and i’m going to follow it despite my fear.

i hope you all understand, and are having a wonderful day. thank you.

[docwhal]

virgo is different for some

virgo is trying too hard when you are young to be a savior and finding yourself falling back into a void because you tried to hard and broke yourself

virgo is the suggestion of perfection and the disgusting feelings that eat you from the inside out because you’re not

seeing the stereotype on tumblr and everywhere, I know some people like it and identify it and i dont want to short change you.  you’re absolutely radical in every way

but if you look at that post and thing ‘i dont fit in with this’ or it makes you angry because you did try

hey. it might not be alright, but it will be.  you’re beautiful.  you may be flawed in all the fucking ways a person may be, but you are still incredible and worth so fucking much

[docwhal]

What they say: I love to please/ I love making people happy!

What they mean: my heightened sense of empathy requires that you are happy to power my own sense of happiness. Also it's nice that you like my stuff