Praying with wiggly children
Praying nightly with my children in the early days was essential to my plan to bring up faithful children in line with Proverbs 22. Before they could talk it was easy, then the prayers became very sweet, like this one at three years: “Dear Father God and Jesus, Thank you for all the food I have to eat, especially smarties and poppadums. I am very sorry that I screamed at gymnastics and pretended to be a mole in a tunnel when I was supposed to be singing. Please look after any dogs who have hurt themselves, and any cats too. Amen.” However the “thank you, sorry, please” formula can become more contrived as bedtimes go on, and as much as they should thank God for their favourite animal or favourite toy car it gets a little repetitive, and they never have clue of anything they should be sorry for that day, when you think it should be more of a case of them picking their top five!
Being creative with prayer was necessary when my second child in his toddler years was not physically, it seemed, able to stop moving and saying prayers therefore had to become active. We jumped along squares on the bedroom carpet as we prayed, we blowed bubbles, we tried regular prayers (like grace at dinner and regular bedtime prayers) and more off the cuff ones. On making a “prayer box” and placing it on the table it is amusing to see how different children’s prayer lives can be. Our oldest filled it with pleas to God to forgive all the minor crimes of her younger sibling, every upset during the day was promptly written down to be pulled out and revisited later, which was somewhat unhealthy for a peaceful house. Our youngest had a different idea, rather than waste value time writing prayers when writing was not a favourite pastime he found his own way to use the prayer box to communicate with God: he was whispering prayer into the box. While this lasted this was one of the most heart-warming things I had ever seen and, though, a complete curveball in terms of the box’s original purpose, allowed us a glimpse into our boy’s relationship with his creator.
Prayer is a very personal thing and, as adults we talk to God in very different patterns. I like to pray through the day, in the car, before picking the kids up from school, on the loo (don’t judge this, it’s the only quiet place in our house) and before I tackle anything tricky. I can’t do long prayer meetings and it has taken a long time to get used to praying out loud in a group, something sother people can find cringy. In the Bible we see group prayer in upper rooms and people falling flat on their faces to talk to God. It’s ok to do your own thing, and good to plant some seeds of prayer in the early years and see what happens, to see what your child’s own thing is.
Long after giving up on the forced bedtime prayers these seeds produce occasional fruit. Children out of the blue ask for prayer, perhaps due to a sick pet or a cough or cold but their initiation is a mini victory. Take that time, right then, to pray, whatever time: day or night. And remember that prayer doesn’t have to be still and silent, it can involve lego, bubble-wrap, paper airplanes or whatever is the current toy of choice. Active toddlers, more often than not, turn into active children, so stillness may still be a dealbreaker. Pray with them in the noise, while moving, get them a grace dice and let them throw it on the dinner table (maybe not with the best dinner plates!) and if nothing else pray over them when they sleep. Pray for their futures, their health and happiness but most importantly their faith.