Giving More Than You Take
One of the concepts that I am seeing more and more is that if you are always the first to give of yourself, you will be the first person that is thought of when someone needs help.
I beleive that giving your time or skills to people or causes who deserve your help not only fails to drain you, but actually motivates you to give more at the same time as making you feel awesome.
I have seen arguments going both ways, but I honestly feel that it is a good thing to be thought of as the first person that comes to someones mind when they need help
In order to make sure you get the most out of your gift of time and treasure I suggest the following:
When you are spending your time in any capacity (work, sport or home), make sure you are spending it with people who are adding value to your life. Do a gut check on a regular basis as to how people in your network make you feel and keep it full of people who deserve your time and energy.
Celebrate and make time for people who: make you smile, dry your tears, share their wisdom, make juice come out your nose.
Don't waste your precious time with those people who suck you down. Spend your time with the people who build you up. You will soon find that as you spend less time with the people who bring you down, they will stop asking you for things since you won't be top of mind to them anymore.
Very quickly you will realize that the entire network you have created is pushing you to be more and gives you more every day.
If you really can't help this time it is ok to say no, we all need time to rest and recover and meet the commitments we have already made.
As a wise friend once told me the first rule of philanthropy is to take care of yourself before you can take care of others (this goes back to oxygen mask's on planes).
3) Let people say thank you:
Sometimes we wash the thanks and gratitude away by saying it was no trouble. You had a skill, treasure or talent that helped them. You would say thank you were the roles reversed, do not undervalue them by not accepting their appreciation.
4) Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it:
This one is hard for me and I'm sure for many others, but when you have spent your life doing other people favours it is totally ok to ask someone to walk your dog, give you a hug or review your report. Most people will be happy to lend you a hand as long as you aren't asking them to help you move.
If they aren't the kind of person that is willing to give you a hand when you need it return to step one and curate their asses out. Unfriend, unfollow, unlink yourself as they are merely vaccuums that are draining your energy not filling your tank.
