C: Don't you hear them? They're calling for our heads!
G: The Praetorians will put down this crowd. Like they have every other.
C: You brought this on us.
G: ...Filthy ape!
Gladiator II (2024) dir. Ridley Scott | » requested gifset
This was written for @fredhechingerfrenzy EMPEROR CARACALLA ; the prompt is dondus. also this was not super proofread so i'm so sorry if there are any mistakes! (but thank you @mult1f4nd0m-pl34sur3s for reading this over smooches)
Customer: @qyukko
Order: butter pecan ice cream in a cup with chocolate shell and mini m&ms (scooper's choice)
Ingredients: Fem Empress!Reader x Emperor Caracalla, Fluff, Arranged Marriage, Dondus is Mentioned, Reader has a cute moment with Dondus, Might not be Super Historically Accurate (oops)
Total: $16.87 (1687 words)
Order note from the scooper (Emperor Caracalla): "My love. Thank you for your order! While I am still unsure as to how I go into this role of working... I do hope you enjoy your ice cream. I think that this was the best combination possible; you definitely have good taste! I just tried some mini m&ms for the first time and they are definitely delicious."
Check out our ice cream parlor here!!
It had been one month since your father had given your hand in marriage to one of the most deadly and powerful men in all of Rome. Some said that he was sick in the brain, others said that he had a thirst for violence that just never seemed to be quenched. He had his good days and he had his bad days, however, the bad days tended to outweigh the good days tremendously.
You had seen it all with Caracalla in the one short month of marriage; his antics, his childish behavior, his desire for bloodshed. You had seen him on the good days when it felt like he wasn’t sick at all. You had also seen when the bad days really got to him.
The days when he would argue with and scream at Geta before returning back to your shared chambers pouting like a defeated child who had been told they couldn’t have dessert.
The days when there was no one in all of the counsel that thought his ideas were good, so he would retreat to feast on the aged red wine that he claimed helped calm him down.
The days when his only true companion and ally seemed to be Dondus, his loving little monkey friend who would perch on Caracalla’s shoulder and rub her little fingers through his ginger locks gently while squeaking and chirping.
Caracalla adored Dondus and you weren’t entirely sure how or why. Dondus had been in Caracalla’s life longer than you had, but one would have thought that Caracalla would seek the companionship and relationships of other humans around him, not a primate. Despite that, there was one thing that was for certain, though: Caracalla always spoke to Dondus as if she could reply to him. When he was having an off day, when his sickness was too much for his brain, when he had gotten in yet another argument with Geta—any reason Caracalla found to speak his thoughts to Dondus directly, he used it. And she would sit there, perched on his shoulder in that little white dress with the lace trim almost nodding along to Caracalla’s words. Sitting there, munching on grapes and freshly baked pastries as if the Empress status belonged to Dondus and not you.
Which, honestly, was something that Caracalla would not have minded in the slightest. He never wanted to be married, especially to a woman he knew little to nothing about, but was forced to for the betterment of Rome. Yes, the betterment of Rome… somehow it was believed that if Caracalla was married off before Geta that Rome would be better. That, or maybe everyone just assumed that if Caracalla was married off he could be easily distracted while Geta made all of the decisions for the country.
Whatever the reason, it didn’t entirely matter. What mattered now was that you and Caracalla were married—you were together as Emperor and Empress. Emperor and Empress with a small, furry companion that was always there in the same vicinity.
It had always been like that since the day you had wed. It was never just Caracalla and you, but rather… Caracalla, Dondus and you. Everywhere Caracalla went, Dondus was bound to be found right beside him, chirping in his ear on that little chain while snacking on some sort of treat. Whether a grape, a freshly baked pastry or a slice of apple, Dondus snacked as Caracalla sipped on his wine—Caracalla’s true love was Dondus, you were merely a placeholder for all of Rome to see. And, honestly, that was just something that you got used to; something you had realized from early on.
The first night you and Caracalla had shared a sleeping chamber, the very first night you two had shared a bed and laid beside each other as husband and wife, Dondus was there. Sitting on a silk pillow in the corner of the room, munching on yet another snack while she settled in for the night. A slight chirp would remind you of her presence, drawing you back into the grim reality that was now your life. When asked if Dondus really needed to share a chamber with the two of you, Caracalla scoffed slightly, nodding at your words before replying with: “Of course my dear wife, this is Dondus’ home, is it not? The entire palace belongs to us all.”
And belong to you all it did. You had learned the dimmed and darkened hallways of the palace like the back of your hand and wandered about them late at night when you couldn’t sleep. The servants that often hid in the shadows keeping their heads down as they had worked became your friends and you would often seek them out in times of need. Those same servants were happy to oblige and help you in any way that they could too. After all, you were the Empress of Rome now.
One of your favorite late night activities was wandering into the kitchen seeking out some freshly baked pastries to help you through the night. Caracalla had a huge sweet tooth and absolutely adored when you brought those late night pastries and treats, whether he would actually admit it out loud or not. That, and Dondus also adored it when you brought those little grapes and apple slices back with you.
Every time you would return to your chamber with a platter of pastries, fresh fruits and wine you would find Caracalla lying on the lavish bed talking to his furry little companion. He would talk about his day and about how Geta did something to set him off while staring at the ceiling as if Dondus was his therapist. Every single time. It was like clockwork at this point.
So when you pushed open the grand door to find the bed empty you were suspicious. No Caracalla, no Dondus in view, just you in the doorway with your platter of treats. It was an odd sight to say the least.
Placing the platter down gently you examined the room carefully. It was as if Caracalla hadn’t even been there at all that night. You began to think you were alone until you heard some soft chittering from the corner. Dondus.
Turning on your heels swiftly, your eyes found Dondus sitting on a pale blue silk pillow looking up at you. Another soft chirp came from her as you moved closer, looking around yet again for any sign of your husband.
“Hi there, little one,” you mumbled softly, crouching down to the creature’s level. “Where’s Calla, huh?” A small shriek came out in reply, Dondus pointing towards the platter you had placed down moments before. You glanced back, smiling slightly. “Oh yes, it’s snack time, isn’t it?” You stood up quickly, walking back towards the platter.
Dondus chittered softly, following after you quickly. Climbing up onto the bed with ease, she sat there watching as your fingers moved to break pieces of treats off. You filled a small plate with a few fresh green grapes, slices of bright red apples and some broken up pieces of a few different flaky pastries.
“I cannot believe Caracalla is missing out on these,” you smiled, taking a small bite of the same flaky pastry. It melted in your mouth, the sweet flavor exploding in your mouth. Dondus’ small hands reached for a grape, looking up at you while munching on the fruit. “Have you seen him at all, hm?” You hummed, not expecting a reply. However, at your question her head appeared to move back and forth, as if saying no. You were a bit taken aback, tilting your head to the side slowly. “You haven’t seen him at all?”
Another slow movement, head shaking again as the grape was devoured in record timing. It was odd, maybe Caracalla could actually understand and speak with Dondus. You nodded slightly, taking another bite of the pastry before you sat on the bed beside the tiny monkey gently. “Maybe he went to speak with Geta,” you mused, reaching for another grape from the platter. You handed it to Dondus, who shrieked in delight before quickly snatching it from your hands. “Yeah?” You laughed slightly, popping a grape into your mouth. “These ones are a bit tart, not as sweet as they typically are. I don’t believe they are as ripe.”
Dondus nodded in agreement, munching on the new grape slowly before crawling into your lap. Your hand fell to your lap, scratching at her fur gently as you sat there in a brief silence. It was odd, really. You and Dondus sitting in bed together, sharing late night snacks without your husband around. She finished the second grape, leaning into your scratches as she sighed slowly, looking up at you.
Your eyes met hers, a small smile reaching your lips. “You know, you are pretty cute,” you mumbled, scratching behind her ear gently. “I can see why Calla enjoys having you around.” Dondus chirped slightly, curling up in your lap slowly. She snuggled against your stomach, looking up at you with those sweet and innocent eyes. Almost as if she said I’m sorry for taking your husband. But I need him and he needs me.
Your fingers stroked her fur again, scratching gently as you reached for another pastry to snack on. You tore a small piece off, handing it to Dondus who quickly and happily took it from your grasp gently. She munched on it through chirps, snuggling into your body more.
And from the doorway, Caracalla stood with a small smile forming on his lips. A true and genuine smile—something that he hasn’t had in ages. Because for the first time he had seen the two most important things in his life interacting with each other. With each stroke of Dondus’ fur, with each little comment you made to her and with each giggle that left your mouth… Caracalla slowly began to fall for you. For his wife who may have been placed in his life by an unlikely arrangement but he wanted to now keep around by choice.
