But if you were to hold the entire universe, why would you let go of it and give it to me, who destroys it all?
I am really sorry, because these get longer and longer. Link to the first thing I wrote about this here, and link to what I wrote about episode 10, here.
Episode eleven starts with the very final lines in episode ten.
because Dongkyung wants to stay with her loved ones.
because Myulmang wants to be human, to be alive, so he can be able to die with Dongkyung.
He is head over heels for her. After they meet at the beach, they go back to the house Dongkyung escaped to. There, they see the sky. She talks about stars: about how we die to become one with the universe. And when we become stars, we get reunited again. Or so says Myulmang. A being like him, saying something so… human. Because it’s the proper thing to do. Because it’s the humane thing to say.
They go around, the next day. They eat together, ironically, since we all know Myulmang is not supposed to be able to eat. They stay together, and Dongkyung talks: about how she met Jina, about how she would go around following her brother whenever he did something wrong, about how she worked hard so her aunt could marry without regrets. And Myulmang listens, with the most beautiful smile the world has ever seen. He asks questions, he wonders about the things she has done. He wonders why she worked so her aunt could marry. She answers that she did that to seem mature, like her aunt didn’t need to take care anymore.
“Are you a grown up, then?”
They go a little bit further, where Dongkyung can see the sea at its fullest, and Myulmang can see her back. She turns around.
“No. I’m still growing up.”
And there is this moment, in which I know she has so much to live, but there’s so little time. And they both smile. Because Dongkyung has said a cute, truthful statement. She’s yet to grow up.
He sees her, and she is there.
"I am not alone", he says. He is not alone anymore .
Myulmang asks for a wish when they are to enter the house in Jeju, again. He asks for forgiveness. Dongkyung is confused, but he tells her he has told “them”. And there we have them: her aunt, her aunt’s husband -Kevin-,her brother and Jina. And her aunt hugs her. And everything is fine. When her aunt is preparing food, Dongkyung is outside with Kevin. They don’t speak the same language: he talks in English about how he’s there for her, and she talks about how love is such a hard thing to manage. But they understand “family” and “love”, no matter the language. Kevin misunderstands “afraid” as “thank you”. And I know, even within the same language, we misunderstand bad things as good things, too, and viceversa.
Inside the house, Dongkyung’s aunt sees how Myulmang stays next to the door, staring at little Tak Dongkyung. She asks for him to get an onion and wash it, while she talks about how Dongkyung always keeps things inside, never expressing her feelings. She thanks our Doom, for telling them where Dongkyung is. Myulmang knew they would be worried about her, and tells the woman that her niece was worried, too.
How could Dongkyung be worried?, her aunt doesn't get it.
How could she not?, Myulmang has listened to his little human's stories all day long. She talks about her family, and loves the people who are part of it.
When having dinner, all of her family members give some piece of food to Dongkyung. Myulmang smiles. He finally sees her receiving the warmth she deserves to have. He seems happy, but it also seems like he's not completely there. Then, like welcoming into the family, Dongkyung's aunt gives a piece of food to Myulmang, who barely drinks water. He accepts the gift, eating what she put in his plate with some rice.
Jina and Dongkyung walk around, talking about Jina's terribly decision-making, being obvious to Dongkyung and her brother that she likes Mr. Cha. Myulang sees from afar -he always seems to be watching her, like he once said he was going to do, but this time he welcomes whatever Dongkyung loves- and smiles, until his smile disappears. He senses something. When going back to the house, Ms. Tak finds her Kim Saram ready to leave.
He's going to the hospital. Dongkyung will follow him after a while. He meets the little goddess, who is dying. He wants to know why she didn't tell him beforehand, he wants to know what is he supposed to do. He's being reminded, once again, that he avoided love because it brings pain. As he leaves the room, he meets Dongkyung in the corridor, who takes his hand.
Dongkyung talks with the tenderness and a lover can offer.
She holds his hand and walks him out. She learns that the little goddess is about to die, that it has always happened. Out there, in the streets of Seoul, Doom itself and his beloved stop before a traffic light. A kid walks towards the street, getting away from his mother's grip. Myulmang takes the child before he gets crashed by a motorcycle, and Dongkyung is petrified.
Myulmang walks towards her and, right there, he appears to be the most beautiful being.
"Are you allowed to do that?"
Yes, I want to know the same. He's not supposed to help, he's not supposed to do good. He's supposed to bring doom and celebrate what is destined for humans. He is supposed to watch.
He can't. But he also can't help but do something. She is watching. After loving Dongkyung, humans are pitiful. Humans are cute. Since Dongkyung is human, he sometimes sees them as her. Doesn't that mean that she's everywhere, for him?
What I like about this episode, is how it shows how much Dongkyung loves her family members, including Jina .
When she receives a call from her ex-boss telling her to go see him quickly or he would sue her friend, she doesn't hesitate . She rejects Myulmang's help, and deals with it on her own . That is also how she comes to know that Mr. Cha is, contrary to what she had believed, rich. And it is funny: we see Dongkyung playing around, talking about Jina without mention her, in front of Mr. Cha, who plans do start a company. He asks her to come to his company . She asks for a higher salary .
When she visits her brother's workplace, she talks about Jina and Hyunkyu, in front of him, without metioning her: both Hyunkyu and Sunkyung are confused. Dongkyung is being mischievous, and they have no idea .
Going back home, Tak Dongkyung finds her house mixed with Myulmang's once again. She told him that her aunt is not home, so he took advantage of it. The next picture is adorable. Dongkyung uses Myulmang's thigh as a pillow, while he reads a book. She accuses him of what I believe sounds as a 'non-romantic' person. I disagree, because he immediately does what she asks him to do, when asked seriously. But what she really accused him of is being a mood killer, always nit-picking everything she says and saying the opposite to what she tells him. Still, she calls him cute. And I agree with that. He smiles every time he jokes around with her, and oh, if I'm not obsessed with the way he looks at her... They are cute, she giving him something to eat, he telling her he doesn't eat, she answering that he can pretend to eat it.
He eats what she puts in his mouth.
I am tremendously happy. Myulmang did say that loving brought pain, but he is willing to keep loving Dongkyung. He can joke around, allow himself to be more human, stay around her.
They go outside the house, and look around. Dongkyung loves how the moon looks from his house, although, as Myulmand says, it is the same moon. She wants to reborn as the big, bright, moon. Or as the winds. She wants to exist in her next life, but not live.
Isn't it ironic? How he wants to be alive so he can die, next to her. How she wants to just exist because living is hard. Loving is hard.
He asks if she would choose a different path if she was able to go back in time. I once feel afraid. When he asks things like this one, don't they always mean they will happen? Or are bound to happen? She doesn't give a clear answer, but he knows.
"Even if I go back, I'l make the same decision."
Myulmang is sure of his love.
"Meeting you, loving you, walking like this with you."
It must be hard, saying what is next.
"I know, you probably won't."
She probably wouldn't go through all that again. She says she doesn't regret it. He has changed her world.
And so, she shows him the gift the little goddess gave her once. Whatever was inside of that transparent-like sphere, which held what could be the universe, depended on Dongkyung's love. Although she was afraid at first, she is not afraid anymore.
She gives Myulmang the small sphere, she puts it in his hand.
He smiles at her. He smiles a lot, in this episode.
She gets a call, and Myulmang holds the sphere on his hand.
The world fell to my feet. The reason Dongkyung gets a call is because her aunt has discovered there is no treatment for her niece. Not only that, she now knows Myulmang might not be a doctor, that the man she talked to was not a doctor, either. She collapsed. When Dongkyung visits her, her aunt is not okay. She is not able to understand that, no matter what Dongkyung does, she will die. Both taking the treatment and not taking it. Her heart aches. Kevin tells her to stay away for a bit, so her aunt can calm down. If they are together, he says, it's not good.
Myulmang waits for her inside the hospital, near the entrance. He has always known how to wait. He looks at the clock, as he cares about the time. This time, he holds the universe, like Dongkyung once did.
Dongkyung meets the little goddess in the hall.
Dongkyung needs help. How can she lessen the pain for the ones she loves? For herself? She asks for help.
The little goddess offers to make their destinies, Myulmang and hers, not match like they once did. As if they had never met. So she can die without knowing the big garden that surrounds her. So they forget each other and never forge a contract. So no one dies if she lives, and no one stays truly alone when she dies.
"You need to make a choice."
Tak Dongkyung witnesses the little goddess getting weaker, coughing blood. Little Dongkyung is about to cry.
Myulmang senses it. He knows something is happening. He stands up, and the sphere falls. The universe she once held inside her hands, broke into pieces when she gave it to someone else to hold. His face screams: "no, please. Don't". But he can't do anything.
If only she hadn't let go of her universe, but it was too much weight to lift on her own.
