My face is breaking out & I'm drinking some pink Whitney.. I've got lots of feelings and there SCREAMING to come out.. I've been bottling things up for years and years and I need to process this shit... Lots of different types of shit too.i need to start somewhere . I feel so fucking LONELY and empty. I do not connect with people like most people do. I vibe like sexually with 1 out of 500 people.. and it makes it really hard. Like am I gonna be alone? I'm 30.. I'm terrified. I thought I would be married by now and happy and so in love.. vibing with my soul mate... Feeling loved. And not judged. Like somebody loving me for the real weird ass me... Idk I feel like it's not gonna come.. am I destined to be Alone? I never in my wildest imagination imagined me being Alone... So this is is like crazy to me. I want that relationship.. I wanna love and be loved so much it's sickening... I actually thought I met and dated my soulmate but he gave up on me. Every so often I message him because I wanna rekindle what we had and I don't know why he doesn't want to. Our love was so fucking pure and just amazement... I don't think I'll ever ever love like that again. And yes after like 3 years I STILL feel this way. Like I'm attached to him. Like I belong to him. I can't imagine marrying anybody but him
Why doesn't he want me anymore? Why won't he give it a chance? What do I do? In my soul I feel that this man is meant for me but he's wasting so much time. And I feel like a last option and it breaks my heart....
