I don’t know exactly how to word this, but I could use some positivity. I thought I was the original host, but I’ve realized I’m not, and she’s been gone/dormant for almost a decade and a half. I’m conflicted and confused and I know that even if I could find/wake her, I wouldn’t. I feel selfish for it, but my active system mate and I have just started healing from the events that woke us up in the first place. I’m doing the best thing for our system, I think. This whole thing is just a lot to process and I don’t really know where to start.
Hey! It’s understandable that you might not want to wake someone from dormancy for a multitude of reasons.
Especially when you and your active system mate still have things you both need to work on before handling someone else and their issues as well.
There’s no clear road you should travel and no perfect solutions or answers to everything, but what matters is that you’re trying your best for your system so you can all be content and be your best selves!
I& think it sounds like your doing great so far!