Jackie Joson is a Philippines-based artist with a passion for anime and tokusatsu. Her UNO parody comic gained viral attention across fandoms and recently, was among the various tabling artists in attendance at the tokusatsu charity event, TokuSpirits. In addition to her online portfolio, her work is also found on DeviantArt, Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram. …
I got featured in The Tokusatsu Network!! Thanks you guys!
As the first flakes of snow gingerly danced to the ground, everyone in the world of Smash were thinking of one thing: Christmas. Lights, ornaments, and little plastic reindeer propped up in various arenas around the world. Frost and black ice caked the grounds, causing fighters to slip, slide, and tumble, preventing any fair matches. Thus, a truce was made. There would be no violence over the course of the holidays, allowing each fighter to enjoy Christmas peacefully with their families.
It was December 23rd, and Kirby sauntered to his mailbox, expecting electrical bills, but what he found was rather peculiar. It was a hand-written letter from Mario. Now, as Kirby gazed at the letter, two thoughts cropped up into his mind: One, it was rare to receive letters in the mail, everyone emails these days. Two, Mario doesn’t speak English.
Kirby shrugged his shoulders and pried open the envelope. It was surprisingly neat; Mario’s sharp cursive was pleasing on the eyes. The paper used was out-of-the-ordinary too, it was light-blue with countless snowmen and candy canes imprinted on the rough corners. Kirby began to read the letter, but realized that he was still outside, and his non-existent ears were becoming numb and red, and so he walked into his home and wrapped himself in a thick, wool blanket.
Dear Kirby:
You have humbly been invited to the first annual Smash Gift Exchange! Bring one gift to the enclosed location, and I shall tell of the festivities when everyone arrives! I excitedly await your arrival!
XOXO- Mario
Kirby sighed. What kind of party will this be? At any rate, Kirby was not given the date of the Gift Exchange so he hurriedly ran to Walmart and purchased a small doohickey and hastily wrapped it in unused wallpaper.
As it turned out, the Gift Exchange was beginning the instant Kirby opened his letter, so as he arrived at the location, he was exactly 15 minutes late. Mario glared at him. “Kirby! Why-a are you so-a late?”
Kirby shrugged and tossed his gift under the tree. Mario cleared his throat. “Welcome to the Gift Exchange! I shall now-a explain-a the rules!”
He reached deep into his overalls and fished out a crumpled ball of paper. “All participants shall write their names on a slip of paper and place it into a hat. Then, I will draw a name. Whoever’s name gets pulled picks a gift from beneath the tree, or steal a gift from another person. Once all gifts are picked, we will unwrap them and see who gets the best gift!” Mario shouted excitedly.
The fighters glanced at each other and sighed. They were clearly not as eager as Mario. Since they had nothing better to do that day (as some thought. Many were actually abstaining from their Christmas shopping, and that’s a big no-no), they complied with Mario’s rules and scribbled their names down on tiny pieces of paper. This process took some time, as Wario had fallen asleep during the seminar, and you know how difficult it is to wake someone from a garlic-fueled dream.
Finally, once all that was done Mario raised the hat into the air. “LET THE GIFT EXCHANGE… BEGIN-a!”
He dramatically reached into the hat and flipped out a slip of paper. After a long pause, he open the slip. “Ness! You’re up!”
What bad luck. Ness wanted to be last so he could whatever gift he wanted. Tears filled his eyes as he slowly marched towards the Christmas tree. He sniffled and snorted, the feeling of bitter loss was so overwhelming and unbearable that he wobbled dangerously with each tiny step. Everything under the tree was hastily wrapped, so their contents were obvious. Ness patted his stomach as he realized he was hungry (sadness does this to you), and grabbed a gift from Donkey Kong that was suspiciously shaped like a banana.
As more names were drawn, the classic drama of the Gift Exchange had arisen. Peach grabbed what appeared to be an umbrella, only for it to be stolen by Bowser. As Bowser reached for the gift, he took a deep whiff of Peach’s hair.
“You smell…peachy,” He whispered in a deep voice as he wiggled his eyebrows.
Luigi’s eye twitched at the sight, resulting in a clash between green and dragon(?). Pikachu broke up the fight valiantly with an electric shock, sending both of the fighters to the ER.
As a reward for his heroics, Pikachu was awarded both Luigi and Bowser’s gifts, which sufficiently satisfied the little mouse(?). As the exchange was coming to a close, Pokemon Trainer and Wolf barged into the room uninvited. “Why weren’t we invited to this party? We’re smashers too!” Wold cried in a drunken tone.
Mario shook his head. “You two are-a no longer relevant. Forgotten by-a time and-a space, destined to wonder the endless halls of-a eternity, with no purpose and no love. You have-a no place here cretins! Begone-a! I would rather look at a pile of-a poison mushrooms than take a glance-a at your ugly mugs.”
Whoa.
That was deep.
It was enough to force the two out of the room, and the exchange commenced once more. Finally, the last name was pulled from the hat. “Kirby.”
Just his luck! Kirby picked up the last gift under the tree and scanned the room for any gift he would like to steal, but nothing caught his eye.
Mario nodded as Kirby returned to his seat. “Now-a for the fun-a part! Open your-a gifts!”
As expected, all gifts were cheap trinkets bought from the dollar store. Pikachu got the most junk with his three gifts, a piece of garlic, a lawn chair, and a plastic snowman were what he received. Charizard was the most disappointed, he obtained matches.
And just by his luck, Kirby got a little doohickey identical to the one he purchased.
It was a glorious waste of time, the sun had already disappeared beyond the horizon, and a deep chill was in the air. However, Christmas Eve was upon the smashers, and that was all they looked forward to.
Merry Christmas, Emcee! I hope you enjoy your holiday much more than the characters of Smash did!
