Some Flutterina (shifting back to Double Trouble) for you.
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Random Tanksona oneshot thingy(I don’t know either)
Under the read more for swearing, Dick jokes, obscene words/references, and bomb mention. Hope y’all enjoy the random oneshot thingy! ^^
Double-Trouble paced the floor of the ATV he was stationed in. It was making its way to a site that had requested his crew’s assistance, and as such, he needed to watch over the execution of it all.
He stepped out as he reached the site, coming across a motley crew of three tankmen.
He facepalmed. He vaguely recognized the captain of the crew. If he knew him well enough, he’d say it in three...two...one…
“Dick joke!” DT grimaced. THIS WOULD BE A ONE-TIME ALLIANCE.
“Now is not the time, Captain John.” DT scowled.
“Right, right. So, uh, still got those limb enhancers? Or have ya grown past 3 foot 8 inches?” John taunted maliciously.
“YOU CALLED US OUT HERE FOR A REASON, BONEHEAD.” DT growled.
“Right. Uh, there’s an enemy zeppelin that’s kinda invading our space...Couldja helps us take it down?” John explained.
DT sighed, looking at the enemy in question. Oh. Yeah, that-that definitely requires help to take down.
“Look, if it’s too difficult, L'amour, I can handle it myself.” John huffed.
DT shook his head, getting up in John’s face. “LISTEN HERE YOU STÜCK ABFALL, IF YOU EVER CALL ME THAT AGAIN, YOU’LL BE SKINNED SO WELL THAT A PEELED ONION WILL GIVE OFF MORE FRICTION THAN YOU.” DT warned.
John nodded shakily, face darkening slightly.
“Is it just that?” DT asked.
John knew he was playing Blackjack with the Devil, but maybe he could score 13. “Well, there’s one other thing you could help with-”
“JOHN.” DT smiled crazily, slowly turning to look him dead in the eyes, pin-pricks for pupils.
“Yeah?” John squeaked, already knowing he scored an 11.
“IF YOU DO NOT CEASE AND DESIST,” DT tilted his head, bones cracking slightly. “I WILL MAKE POTTERY OUT OF YOUR BONES.”
John nodded swiftly, shaking out of his skin. DT nodded, returning to normal.
“Cap, are you okay?” Steve asked.
John chuckled nervously. “Let’s just do what he needs us to…!” He started shaking slightly.
DT looked it over, nodding and grabbing something from his backpack and grabbing John’s hand.
“Uh...Not to be rude, man, but we’ve already tried handguns, they didn’t make a dent.” John informed.
DT looked at him, face blank as a fresh canvas. “John, when did I say this was a handgun?”
“Wait, what?” John asked.
DT pulled the trigger and a grappling hook launched out and hooked on.
“WAIT, NO, HOLD ON-” John started, holding onto DT for dear life as they were launched onboard.
“WHAT DID I SAY, WET SOCK?” DT grinned maliciously.
“NEVER CALL YOU THAT AGAIN.” John grinned shakily.
DT patted him on the head in a condescending manner. “Good little Easy Bake Oven.” DT smiled.
John followed DT, wheezing as he was forced to a stop. “What the He-” John started.
“Where’s the guards?” DT asked.
“What?”
“Where are the guards?”
“What do you mean?”
“We haven’t encountered any guards.”
“That’s...Suspicious.”
“Yeah...Almost like it’s-”
“A TRAP.” The two said in unison.
“Well darn, I coulda SWORN…” John mumbled.
“Wait...John, this appeared a while away from your team, right?” DT asked.
“Yeah, why…” John trailed off as realization hit.
“Well...Sh-” John started.
“-ut up!” Steve chuckled.
The crew laughed while waiting for their captains to return from the mission, not worried about the time it was taking.
John paced, thinking everything through. “Okay, uh, we need to evacuate everyone!”
DT rolled his eyes, looking at the console. Inside, he found something with a timer attached to it. “Well scallop my potatoes and call me a country dinner.” DT sighed.
“What? What is it?” John asked.
“I found something.” DT said.
“What? A guard? A person? ANY FORM OF HUMAN CONTACT?” John asked sporadically.
Hunter hefted the object out. “A bomb.”
And then he screamed like a kettle on helium and crack and was out like a light. Nice work, Captain John.
DT sighed, dragging him closer and getting to work on diffusing it.
“Leave it to Captain John to leave all the work to someone else.” DT grumbled.
“Leave it to Captain John to not do any work.” DT mumbled.
John had regained consciousness a few minutes ago, but he didn’t move. He didn’t want to.
“Captain John the fearless! WHO PROMPTLY SCREAMS LIKE A GIRL SCOUT AND FAINTS AFTER SEEING A SIMPLE BOMB.” DT grumbled.
John hid a flinch.
“CAPTAIN JOHN THE WAR HERO WHO LAUGHS AT CHILDREN, WHO IS A BIG OLD PUSSY, WHO MAKES DICK JOKES ON THE CLOCK, WHO IS SO THICK-SKULLED THAT HE CAN’T SEE THAT I KNOW THAT HE’S FUCKING AWAKE RIGHT NOW AND JUST LISTENING IN ON MY VENTING!!!” DT growled.
John gulped quietly. He tried not to start shaking.
DT sighed, knowing that he’d regret his decision. “Captain John, who can’t see that I think he’s kinda neat.”
John sprang up. “YouthinkI’mneat?” He asked eagerly.
DT frowned. “How long?”
“About five minutes…” John admitted.
“Not for that.” DT sighed.
“Heh?” John asked, confused.
“You sprang up as soon as I said you were neat.” DT sighed. “How long?”
John quickly got it and he started looking around the room for points of interest. “Don-Don’t you have a like, bomb to diffuse?” John stumbled over his words.
“I can talk while doing that.” DT said, resuming the diffusion.
“We-Well, uh…” John stuttered.
“Cute stutter by the way.” DT complimented.
WELL, JOHN’S DEAD.
“Come on, Cap. Let’s move.”
“Wait, I thought you were diffusing it-” John started.
“What? No! That’s not extra enough! I set it to blow in the amount of time it’d take for us to jump out.” DT scoffed, grabbing him by the hand and running out.
DT jumped out, curling around John and hitting the ground below, unrolling, John landing safely.
“Holy Shit…! That was awesome!” John wheezed.
DT nodded, lying on his back.
After a while, DT recovered at least a little bit, having broken his left arm and a leg from the fall. “Hey, uh, thanks for, uh, coming in clutch back there.” John thanked.
“No prob, man.” DT shrugged.
John chuckled. “Ya know what this calls for?” John grinned smugly.
DT rolled his eyes. “A dick jo-” John started falling silent as DT gently gave him a quick smooth on the cheek and heading off back to his home-base.
John stood in the same place, dead silent, dead still, for a while. A few hours.
“Cap, are you okay?” Steve asked, worried.
“...We need to get in danger more often.” John said.
Is no one gonna talk about the fact that the cave the rebellion was hiding in was literally the same cave DT and Catra were using in season 4 as their base of operations? It was clear that when the Best Friends Squad got there that no one else knew about what had gone down in that cave other than Glimmer and Catra so how did they find it? The answer: Double Trouble took them there.
I’m not saying DT is one to actively do good deeds, but I do believe that their true neutrality is relies on their concept of having absolute freedom. To side with anyone means to pick and choose what they are willing to relinquish. Earlier on, siding with the horde (prior to Prime) meant giving up the more playful side of their personality in exchange for a “victory or death” attitude. With the rebels, there are too many morals involved that get in the way of their desire for “substance”. To Double Trouble, a life worth living has to be complex and liberating. This is also why they disliked attempting to blend in with the clones and did not attempt to leverage the princesses/negotiate with Prime. Prime is a representation of complete and utter control, and that is the opposite of DT’s true nature. Therefore, when the group was making their escape from the under-sea lounge, and they CARRIED Double Trouble to safety, Double Trouble probably decided to repay the debt and give them one place they could escape to.
