Doubts tell me; how long could i stay happy and motivated if i was an askblog everyone hates for no other reason that "being a dik" while all i do is trying to make them aware of their potentials mistakes and trying to help them through their Tumblr experience ? Because you see Doubts, sometimes i feel, really deep inside me, that all i do is vain, that the people im trying to help dont listen, and hate me for that. I even feel sometimes that it does affect me. Im not sure if i want to continue.
We’ll start from the top then. If it is validation you came seeking, you likely won’t find it here, just take that as my disclaimer. I’ll also say many people in the communities I take part in do their blogs for fun and aren’t really too concerned with having a perfect art, story, or building the largest following. They might not be seeking critique on these factors. They’re just here for fun and relaxation
Something you may want to consider in the future, as well, is to ask if the artist or content creator is accepting criticism right now before providing it. Not everyone is advertising this. But it helps avoid problems and it’s a simple question to ask.
That said, let’s move to something in the field of interacting with others and why your interactions with these creators may have soured. Something I’ve found from my own experiences, both myself and others, is that if we are the only one that doesn’t think we’re being a dick, we’re probably being a dick. Even if it is just one person, stop and listen, take a moment to consider why someone just said that, what you had just said, and even how you said it. Evaluate yourself. Is that how you would have wanted someone to tell you something? Especially if they are telling you that you are doing something ‘wrong’ or ‘you shouldn’t be doing that.’ Also, try and keep in mind your own biases and beliefs, they might not apply to all situations and some people just have different audiences they appeal to.
If you want an example of how not to go about giving ‘advice,’ an anon recently sent a returning community member an ask that told them that the ask community had been forgetting this member while they were gone dealing with real life and that they should post stuff to get attention again. This could seem well-intentioned to the sender, but that’s not how it reads off. It reads off as callous. Even if not the intent of the sender, it’s still cold and feels more like ‘The only reason people remember you is because you do the thing.’ At best, it was just poorly worded. The well-intentioned, without mindfulness, can come across and crass and heartless. At worst, it was a cold statement to guilt someone into focusing more on their blog then their real life because some anon wanted more updates.
But ultimately, this is just general advice and thoughts. I can’t provide you with advice specific to your situation or problem, Anon, because I don’t know the details of your communications with others. Hopefully, this helps despite that. If you want anything more specific, you’ll have to come off anon.
Remember everyone, your words resonate with others. They hold weight and impact with them. Try to have empathy and understanding in yours. Try to find the warm ones that build a person up. I’m not saying ‘don’t say something is wrong or off,’ I’m saying ‘don’t be mean about it’ and ask before providing unless they communicate on their blogs they are seeking that advice.
Be excellent to each other.
