Being a believer, lover, and a follower of Jesus Christ, some days I find myself wondering “how do I know who I truly am when it comes to my faith”? I know I believe that Jesus died for my sins, but sometimes I doubt myself because sometimes I can be so lazy in my relationship with Him. By lazy, I mean I’m not in the word on a daily, or I’m not praying on a regular basis. I’m a college student, an organization leader, sorority sister, I have a job at a coffee shop, a photographer, I’m a daughter, a sister, a girlfriend, and a best friend, most importantly I’m a Christian. Alongside all of that, I’m also messy, unorganized, and at times forgetful. But when I really think about it, that's all because I’m human, just as God created me to be, we all are. So yeah we mess up a time or two, so what? If there's one thing I LOVE most about OUR God, is that he’s forgiving, loving, and understanding of our ways. And the best part of it is, even though sometimes I doubt myself, I know that my love for God is so deep because it’s when I’m not in His word or I’m ignoring His presence, it’s so clear that He is STILL there, and when I can feel that, it’s like ignoring someone who is so dear to your heart when they are standing right in front of you.
Before I was saved, and I didn’t know the love that God had for me all along, I was so consumed by the people around me and always expected them to fulfill me. Time after time I ended up getting hurt or those people were just never enough to fill what felt like a hole in my heart.
But when I came to know God, and his love for me, not only was I able to learn that we shouldn’t “expect” love from others, but I grew to want to learn how to show the love my Father showed me, to others. Most importantly, I stopped trying to let the worldly things fulfill me, or tell me who I was. Instead, I started to let God’s love fulfill, and I started listening to Him about who He was telling me and showing me who He created me to be.