I Never Wanted Everything To End This Way
Content Warning(s): angst, mentions of a break up, crying, comfort
Summary: Tom comforts Dougie after a breakup
The last few weeks had completely blindsided Dougie.
His girlfriend had recently left him, saying that his touring lifestyle was too much for her and that she needed more stability.
The words that fell out of the mouth of the woman who he had devoted himself to loving shattered his heart into millions of tiny shards.
You could almost hear the smashing in the silence that had encapsulated the room.
Dougie saw her everywhere.
The wallpaper she had picked out. The coffee mug that sat unwashed in the sink. The empty perfume bottles that were placed on the bathroom shelves. The flowers her mother had given her when she came over for lunch the week before, that now sat wilted and dead in their vase. Dougie felt like those flowers.
The rest of the guys knew he was having a hard time following the break up, but they didn’t know the extent of it.
Rehearsals were forgotten as Dougie lay in his bed that still smelled like her, swallowed by his sadness.
After the first week or so of this routine of waking up, making a coffee then heading back to bed, Dougie tried to get out of the house.
He did his food shop, forgetting that he was now only shopping for one, but only realised that he would never eat all of this food by himself when he returned to his now empty home.
He sorted the food into two piles: one that he would eat, and one that he wouldn’t.
Unsure what to do with this food, he send a photo of the pile to Tom, Danny and Harry to see if any of them would make any use of it.
Tom responded, saying that he would be more than happy to take it off of his hands, especially since Dougie had bought some mint KitKats, which happened to be Buzz’s current obsession, as well as being Dougie’s former girlfriend’s favourite.
A weight felt like it had been lifted from Dougie’s shoulders as he read the text message from Tom.
Shortly after the message was received, Tom appeared at Dougie’s doorstep.
Tom tried to keep some semblance of cheeriness on his face as to not hurt Dougie, but seeing his best friend, his brother, stood in his own doorway looking dishevelled and exhausted, broke his heart.
Sure, Tom had seen Dougie go through multiple heartbreaks, but this was by far the worst.
He wouldn’t have been surprised if he didn’t see Dougie for the rest of the year, but the picture of the pile of food Dougie had shared to the group chat made him feel better.
His best friend was hurting.
And there was nothing he could do to fix it.
Entering Dougie’s house, it felt different. Cold.
That warmth that bounced off of the photograph-covered walls had vanished, and only a cold husk of what once was there remained.
The walk to the kitchen sparked memories of the multiple times they had all hung out together here.
Dougie’s girlfriend, now ex-girlfriend, making the rest of the guys cups of tea as Dougie showed them all a new video game he had been playing.
The Sunday lunch that had been a monthly occurrence, one that Dougie loved, would now feel hollow. Typically, Dougie’s ex had cooked whilst he was entrusted with peeling and chopping vegetables.
The joy that had previously radiated off of the tired blonde was now gone, and had instead been replaced by pain and sorrow.
He didn’t want to say anything about the break-up to Doug, but Tom needed to know if his friend was okay.
Reaching out, he placed a hand on Dougie’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. This seemed to break Dougie out of some sort of trance as he shot his eyes up to his friend.
Dougie’s eyes were rimmed red and dry. He had been crying.
Offering him a weak smile, Tom began to speak.
“Have you been out of the house?” He began.
Dougie shrugged, nodding his head at the food in front of the two of them.
“Of course, right, stupid question.” Tom laughed.
“Have you got enough for yourself?” Tom asked, wanting to make sure Doug would be okay.
He nodded, then spoke in a croaky voice.
“I bought enough for two so, yeah.” He sighed.
Tom cringed slightly, he knew he shouldn’t have asked.
“It’s fine. I’m fine.” Dougie hurriedly added a moment or so after speaking.
“Are you sure mate?” Tom asked.
Silence filled the already too-silent house.
“I-“ Dougie began, before signing in defeat, hanging his head.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Tom asked, placing his hand back onto Dougie’s shoulder.
Dougie sighed, looking back up at Tom with watery eyes.
“I really loved her.” He whispered, tears almost spilling out of his eyes.
Tom didn’t say anything. He simply pulled his friend into a bone-crushing hug, rubbing circles on his back like he used to when the band first started.
Dougie’s shoulders began to shake as his cries intensified into sobs.
They stood like that for a little while.
Just being there with eachother.
It was nice, to Tom, that Dougie still trusted him enough after all of these years of being in a band and touring to cry in front of him, and allow Tom to hold him.
The silence that enveloped the house still felt haunting, but Tom could feel it lifting as Dougie expelled his emotions into Tom’s shoulder.
The catharsis that Dougie felt in that moment as he released all of the emotions that had built up over the course of the week or so that he had isolated himself away from the rest of the world was freeing.
A weight lifted off of Dougie’s shoulders and he felt significantly lighter.
“You feeling any better?” Tom asked after a few minutes.
Dougie nodded into the hug.
“You know I love and care about you right?” Tom asked.
Surprised by Tom’s statement, Dougie pulled back to look at the singer, who simply smiled at him.
“We all do.” He continued. “Danny and Harry. Gi, Izzy and Georgia. We all care about you.”
Hearing that was hard for Doug as he hadn’t heard those words since similar words had left his ex’s mouth after a particularly unproductive day at the studio that had left Dougie feeling like he wasn’t worthy of the fame he had amassed over the years.
Another tear escaped his eye.
No. He was done shedding tears over her.
She had broken his heart, so he didn’t need to feel sad, only angry.
“Well, it looks like the next album will have some great inspiration now.” Dougie joked, making Tom laugh.
The smile that went along with that laugh, and the glint of joy in Tom’s eyes was all Dougie needed to feel better.
The house felt warmer to Tom after Dougie had let out a weak laugh.
Dougie looked lighter too, as if he was glowing, as the warmth the bass player used to emit gradually returned to his exhausted body.
Sure, Dougie was still in love with his ex, but maybe he could move on.
After all, he still had the band.
They would never abandon him.
After 21 years together, they were still a team.
Suddenly, Tom’s phone rang.
“Gi.” He simply said, holding the phone up.
Dougie smiled softly at his friend.
“You go, I’ll be ok.” He gestured to the front door with his hand.
“You sure mate?” Tom asked.
Dougie nodded with a weak smile.
Tom grabbed the bag of food then retreated to the front door, the house feeling less dead now.
Doug waved Tom off before closing the front door.
But it felt different this time.
Almost like Tom’s presence had lit a candle in the home, and brought the light back into it, even if it was just a tiny bit.
The house smelled more like Tom now.
She was beginning to fade from his mind.
He was beginning to smile.
