#dpdv

[myxyouth]

ok so the annoying thing about all this is that like

my friends keep telling me to just move on and stuff and its like!!! i dont move on quickly. i never have. and so telling me that is just a kick in the stomach, an “i wish i could” sort of thing. 

this is HOW IT GOES. and if you can’t realize that about me, do you know me at all?

[myxyouth]

HOW AM I INTO DPDV EVEN MORE NOW AUAUAUDGLSDHGLKDSGJ

[myxyouth]

how much have i blown this out of proportion though honestly? how much have i faked my own feelings to the point where they are impossible to tell apart from honest affection?

this feels so rushed but it felt rushed with m so i dont even know

i mean like it even matters, am i right?

[myxyouth]

man im like weirdly... not fucked up over dpdv basically rejecting me?

its strange... im not numb neither, like ive been feeling shit all day so im just confuse.

also idk if i should go to r&j still...

[myxyouth]

fuck was i thinking // jenny owen youngs

“If we weren't such good friends I think that I'd hate you If we weren't such good friends I'd wish you were dead”

[myxyouth]

say it, just say it

when did i become such a cliche 

let me sleep goddamnit

mayb dickead would be more appropriate rn

[myxyouth]

ok slight resolution: through stupidly complex means dpdv knows that i like him and he says he needs to think about his feelings “since he just had a huge thing with sara” 

but its not a no and i’d rather he really take time to make sure he’s ok than just jump into something and immediately regret it 

so, hey, at least i didn’t just completely drop that bomb on him.

[myxyouth]

4 10 16

harry wants me to ask out dpdv and its like! i don’t know what i’d even do if IF he said yes like. I’ve never been asked out on a date and I’ve never asked someone out b4. its so scary wtf. just even the idea of it.